As I understand it, gay men don't get the grief women do, for a number of reasons. One is that transmen don't create if gay men aren't attracted to them. They may not be happy but their female socialization means they're not used to demanding sex, plus they don't have the physical strength to enforce their demands.
Straight men would just laugh off demands that they have sex or relationships with transwomen so it's not a thing. If, in the wildest of possibilities, I found myself in bed with a man who turned out to be female I'd be furious. Wouldn't get violent. Would get verbal.
The second is that it's central to their self-image that women accept transwomen as one of the girls. Only mean bitchy TERFS refuse to
confirm their womanly gender identity.
The third reason is the demand that lesbians validate their gender identity by having sex with them and their ladystick. The internet is full of anonymous posters, but I have seen a number of accounts by lesbians of rape and sexual assault by transwomen, and found them credible. The worst thing about that is that in the circles young lesbians inhabit it is considered utterly unacceptable to accuse a transwoman of rape. Transwomen are so much the most oppressed, you see.