International men's day event

[Milander]

I live in this area and can think if 4 women who have been killed in the last 3/4 years by partners in my neighbourhood so I'm a bit concerned at the rhetoric that this needs to be balanced.

"Last year’s event focused on violence against women but it is important to recognise that men can be victims too.

"One in six men will suffer from domestic abuse at some point in their life, with men twice as like to not report the abuse to anyone."

www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14907724.Kellie_Maloney__this_journey_is_terrifying_and_frightening_but_we_don__39_t_choose_it/

the stats rarely take into account the women who are treated in hospital for injuries that they claim happened when they fell over/fell down the stairs/walked into a door

many many women do not report the violence and these are often serious assaults that is inflicted on them as they are under pressure from their families and many do believe that their partner/husband will change

women are also more likely to fight back now so a man attacking her may also receive injuries, if they are serious or visible it becomes quite difficult to press charges

what have you studied Pizanfan ?

I don't think anyone would claim male d/v isn't an issue or that it shouldn't receive funding

IIRC, domestic violence in certain surveys includes family as well as partner violence, and sometimes puts sexual assaults by partners in a different category as well.

And MNHQ is usually pretty hot on victim blaming.

You've got to larf haven't you?
International mens day event and the feminists are pointing out what the menz should be talking about, who with, and who not with. Award-winning thread.

Surprised thats what you took from this thread pan!! You think Kellie Maloney is a good role model for men?
Actually IMD isn't for me so while I have an opinion I don't actually care. Men can organise how they want. As this is a feminist board women can express an opinion here. If I'd buggered off to some mens forum and started spouting off about how men should handle IMD I would think you had a point.

No idea who KM is so no notion of an opinion on her/him as a role model. Though from what I read here they aren't best probably.

Of course I know the difference between a fem board and some dude's board. I just had a wry smile at the fact 'advice' was being offered from the feminists.

"It is a manipulation on raw data to produce women as victims.."

Well, actually I think you;ll find it is "a new methodology" rather than a manipulation. "On raw data"? Well, where else would you apply a new methodology than to the raw data?

Any raw data has to manipulated to extract meaning, that is kind of the definition of statistical analysis, the raw data isn't terribly informative without such 'manipulation'...........................

Pizafan you seem to be implying that if women don't centre men in DV campaigns, men will get annoyed and women will bear the brunt?

And make sure they are definitely straight men in the campaigns. Because the kind of men who get excited about this issue tend to get bored and wander off when male-male domestic violence is discussed.

It couldn't possibly be that Prof Walby is actually taking the unconscious bias out of the way stats on DV are normally manipulated. That would be, well, too 'radical' now wouldn't it.

We're not telling the menz what they can and can't do Pan

(Not that they would listen anyway...)

What's wrong with remarking on an odd choice of theme and even odder choice of keynote speaker? I'd do the same if I saw that PETA had invited a known fur wearer to speak at an event, or I saw that the WWF were dedicating their annual conference to saving the lesser spotted warble duck* rather than the big ticket stuff that is going on

*May or may not exist

"Devi

I don't know who Maloney is, and I havn't commented on that person. I was responding to OP and other comments."

The OP links to an article mentioning Maloney.

Kellie Maloney is a transactivist former boxing promoter who was violently abusive to Kellie's then wife. Kellie Maloney transitioned just before appearing in Celebrity Big Brother.

Ah Frank Maloney from the world of boxing, thanks. Know the name but not the DV history.

Read the mirror article I linked and see what you think. It's an account of the abuse direct from Maloney's mouth.
I don't think any personal obstacles someone's overcome can make them an inspirational role model when they attempted to strangle their wife in front of their 2 year old.
But hey people voted for Donald trump so maybe my standards are abnormally high.

You're speaking at a men's conference because deep down, you know.

They all do. Do you think that an actual female would be allowed to be the headline speaker at an event for men's issues? Especially one who had an admitted history of domestic violence? Not a chance

Pan, we're not allowed to call them Frank now. They're known as Kellie.

And I wasn't giving advice, I was just somewhat surprised at the subject and speaker given how many difficulties men actually do have. It's a shame you took away that we wanted to tell men what to think on their own special thinky day.

Xeno - of course it wasn't the only thing I took away from the OP. But it was worth, in my little head at least a slightly side-ways look at women 'advising' (and of course it was advising, not telling) what should be on the agenda for "their own special thinky day" - which is in itself a side-ways, quite dismissive way of addressing the notion, though I like a lot the 'thinky' notion in a piss-takey way.

fwiw if I ruled the world and decided what should be on the agenda for the thinky day it may include, off the top of my little male head:

• Role models and their purpose and importance - I could do my own TED talk on this til ears bled.
• Body image and the pitfalls
• The discipline of creating and maintaining attachments.
• Dick size - it may astound you, or perhaps not, in the male world how this is out of proportion, as it were, to the rest of our lives.
• def MH and a focus on Depression
• def substance misuse as was mentioned up thread
• Having a Positive Vision of Self, and how to maintain that.
• Listening Skills and NOT talking over each other and everyone else, and seeing the importance/benefit of that.

-Educational achievement

• Supporting other men.

All day-to-day habits and ways of thinking that impact on us, that can be improved, if only for our own purposes. Not sure if any of those things would appear on a IMD agenda, though I doubt it.

I'd apologise where umbridge has been taken. I was being slightly playful but hit the wrong play there, obv.

Ooh pan What do you think about role models? I'm interested :)
And discipline of creating and maintaining attachments? Do you mean friendships or PDFS?

RM's - don;t get me started. They are essentially 'problem-solvers' and provide lessons in how to manage the difficult things in life esp. Often detrimentally.
No idea what a PDFS is!

PDF ie document attachments stupid phone! It was a bad pun
I don't know about role models. On one hand it's nice to have mentors and be able to see a path upwards. On the other, people in role models type positions are often anything but (e.g. Kellie Maloney)
Role models isn't something I often hear men talking about so was interested to see it on your list

I think our lists coincide a lot there Pan.

And yes, special thinky day probably had a lot more snark behind it than I really meant it to have. Glad you could see that I was just joshing. DS2 is presently going through the blackest pit of depression, so I suppose men's MH is high on my list partly because of that, but partly because I worked in the field and held too many hands and wiped too many tears for it not to be a major issue for me to champion. Which is why I give some proper side eye to minor issues taking over what could be a day dedicated to far more primary issues IYSWIM? If it helps, it's not just odd priorities for IMD that make me go I'm getting increasingly frustrated by whole swathes of people dealing with footling issues while the elephants in the room stomp about actually killing people.

Hope that made some sort of sense.

It wasn't a bad pun Devi - it was awful....kidding!!

Sorry to know that of your boy Xeno. ime at least, hand-holding and 'sitting with' folks suffering like that is the essential, isn't it? It's at times impossible for them to 'rationalise' why they feel that way, so you just deal with what's in front of you, n'est-ce pas?

Yep, the big elephants ignored for the sexy, 'contemporary' item. I'm by nature an iconoclast and, with no prior knowledge of IMD I'd sit with my chin in a heel of a hand palm thinking .

Makes total sense to me fwiw.

But what possible relevance could a speech about trans rights by Kellie Maloney have to IMD unless it was to encourage men to accept transmen (biological women) as men and to consider that pregnancy etc can be men's issues? Which these men may well do, but colour me sceptical. Obviously Kellie cannot have Kellie's cake and eat it. Kellie is a transwomen mostly concerned with transwomen's rights which by Kellie's logic have nothing to do with IMD so I would love to know how the speech went.

Is it about trams rights? Or trans experience I.e what it is to be male? Or DV or the world of boxing or anything at all.

xeno