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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Am i supposed to be afraid?

69 replies

Bikermum82 · 17/10/2016 20:27

Ive been reading alot of posts on here and theres alot of things about how women feel unsafe walking at night or when out alone.

Ive never personally felt this as i often go for walks late at night or early morning on my own and its never crossed my mind its a bad thing to do. Am i just being niave?

OP posts:
Marbleheadjohnson · 17/10/2016 22:25

I never knew cows could run until I was 26. I was nearly in tears. And of course I ran, which is the worst thing to do.

scallopsrgreat · 17/10/2016 22:27

Women: don't walk alone in fields. The cows will get you!

Lorelei76 · 17/10/2016 22:40

Marble, why is that the worst thing?
Do I need to apologise to my friend, do cows do evil eye before they gave chase?!
Sorry OP.

Kidnapped · 17/10/2016 22:41

I don't feel scared.

I run early mornings and late evenings quite a bit. I don't tend to tell people that a lot because you encounter a lot of "Ooooh, you really shouldn't" kind of stuff from people. I don't take a phone with me either. Shrug.

I live in the country now but used to do the same in the city. I don't lock house doors either if I am in the house overnight on my own. Never have, no matter where I've lived (urban, suburban, country).

I used to do a female fitness class at night and I used to jog there and jog back afterwards (a couple of miles each way). Most of the class were uncomfortable at the idea of me running home afterwards and I kept having to fend off insistent offers of lifts home every week. It was like I was doing something wrong, letting the side down or something. I would never tell someone that they should stop using their car at night and walk or run instead, but plenty of people are happy to tell me that I really shouldn't be out walking or running alone. I stopped going to the class in the end because it was all a bit of a fuss that I didn't want.

I know I've just been lucky never to have a problem but I don't want to stop doing things that I enjoy. Me staying at home isn't going to make the world a safer place.

I certainly don't mean to sound unsympathetic to those who have had bad experiences in the past and are now quite understandably more fearful than they used to be. Flowers

AnyFucker · 17/10/2016 22:46

I am petrified of cows after getting cornered in a field and then one fucking reared up at me 😨

I love a country walk and do many measured rambles of 6/7/8 miles that end up being 9/10/11 because I have to give fields with cows in the swerve

Marbleheadjohnson · 17/10/2016 22:51

I don't know Lorelei, I'm a townie. Apparently running townies antagonise them, they get angry and run faster.

AnyFucker · 17/10/2016 22:58

What is the best course of action if you get attacked by cows ?

Not running. Check.

Freezing ? Takes nerves of steel I don't have

Going at 'em with a big stick ? Shouting loudly ? Hiding behind your bemused husband ?

Kidnapped · 17/10/2016 23:02

Now it is entirely reasonable to be afraid of cows.

Cows are curious animals that like to come and have a look at you up close.

Our dog (brave in all other matters) is utterly terrified of them. She won't even contemplate going into a field of cows. If she hears a moo on TV she tries to run out the back door.

Was out walking a while back with the dog when we passed an older gentleman who said that a herd of cows were gathering behind him and that they might not like the dog. I said I'd take his advice and walk back the way I'd just come, back towards the style. A minute later, the man, the dog and I were belting towards the style at breakneck speed with the dog clearing the style first, me second and the old bloke gasping behind.

Kidnapped · 17/10/2016 23:04

Style? Stile.

Lorelei76 · 17/10/2016 23:13

Marble "I don't know Lorelei, I'm a townie. Apparently running townies antagonise them, they get angry and run faster."

If this was the original subject matter, you'd have won the thread Grin

KickAssAngel · 17/10/2016 23:15

I once lived in a very dodgy area which was a red light district. At night abut the only women who were outside were the hookers. once had to park a car on the street and it was vandalized within 15 minutes. So, there I never walked alone.

Everywhere else I've been has been pretty safe. Definitely the least safe thing to do is to know any men. Sadly, it is far more likely to be your family member or an acquaintance who rapes you.

Kidnapped · 17/10/2016 23:18

Don't come between cows and calves. In fact, don't even go near if there are calves around.

I think don't make any noise and try walk away slowly without any sudden movements. Don't go into a corner or you could get boxed in. If you have a dog, let it go. It will find the best exit in a nanosecond, leaving you cursing the fucker.

I suspect most people would forget all advice, scream like a banshee and try to run for it though. Terrifying.

Marbleheadjohnson · 17/10/2016 23:26

I'm so sorry OP, I've derailed the thread somewhat Blush

Kidnapped · 17/10/2016 23:45

74 people killed by cows in 15 years? Bloody hell. Didn't know it was that many.

Blistory · 17/10/2016 23:58

Cows don't bother me in the slightest. Footsteps behind me at night on a dark street have me hyperventilating. Lived in town and village and both the same. Most of my horrible encounters have been in the dark by random men being opportunistic. Come the light of day and I suddenly have my brave pants on.

And if you're in a field with cows and feel the need to run, run AT them, not away from. Wonder if that works with men ?

OlennasWimple · 18/10/2016 01:24

Cows kill 20 people a year in the US!

I don't feel safe walking at night in some neighbourhoods, but I worry about being mugged more than assaulted. And it isn't the dark so much as the lack of people around

Original poster
Bikermum82 · 18/10/2016 06:58

Cows are scary a woman round our way was killed by them a few years ago she had her dog off the lead at a time they had calves and when they started running she tried to catch her dog instead of getting out the way.

As for the oridginal part of my post im thinking that maybe me never being told it was dangeous to go out late when i was a child has something to do with it.

OP posts:
HapShawl · 18/10/2016 07:24

When I lived in London I wasn't too worried about late at night - it was busy and well-lit

It was 5-6am at the weekend that was scary when I was on my way to work, even though in the summer it was daylight - I was approached and threatened several times and there were not many people around

HapShawl · 18/10/2016 07:25

No one directly told me as a child that it was dangerous to go out late

The times I have been scared it's because of my own experience

ErrolTheDragon · 18/10/2016 07:28

I live in in a village, nowhere to go to at night that doesn't entail using the car anyway. But I run in the mornings nowadays, along a canal towpath. (No cows, the heron always fly away and the swans may look aggressive but they're just defensive really, stay in the water). A few dog walkers, sometimes a boat passing. Not at all scary. But for quite a long time DH was very worried about the idea of me going there alone.

Re cows - the accepted method is to spread and raise your arms and shout 'HRURHH'. There was a thread a few years back, DD has seen it used effectively by a member of her DofE team, and this summer when a bullock was blocking a devon lane, we instructed DH to try that instead of 'shoo'. The beast practically jumped off to the side and looked a bit bewildered in a sort of 'where the fuck is the big predatory beast I just heard' sort of way.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 18/10/2016 08:26

Ive never personally felt this as i often go for walks late at night or early morning on my own and its never crossed my mind its a bad thing to do. Am i just being niave?

I agree with you. Maybe I'm very naive too but it's never occurred to me not too.

HapShawl · 18/10/2016 08:28

In situations where I have been frightened it has been for a reason - either what is happening at that moment or because of a previous experience in similar circumstances

Not because it suddenly "occurred" to me to be frightened

HapShawl · 18/10/2016 08:34

"I am not frightened in situations where nothing frightening has happened to me" shocker

0phelia · 18/10/2016 08:43

Lorelei
It was long boring nights on shift, hanging out with the security guard who taught me through a dozen or so moves that you can use if you ever find you need to, even if other person is bigger than you. where to aim, various scenarios, how to bring them down, that sort of thing. He was great! Not sure any of it would be useful on a cow though.

There's also the Kurdish dog trick if you're ever chased by a wild dog... You kind of jump down to eye level and start scurrying and burrowing into the ground with your hands. It really freaks the dog out and they run away.

I feel invincible while walking alone at night!

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