AIBU about changing my title with my bank?

[gallicgirl]

My work colleagues seem to think I am and I'm willing to admit that I might be over-dramatising a bit but it's peeing me off.

I got married a few weeks back and I've kept my name. I've not bothered to notify any institutions other than changing my title at work from Miss to Mrs, mostly because being called Miss annoyed me a bit.
Anyway, I noticed my debit card on our joint account expires shortly so I phoned up to ask if I can have my title changed from Miss to Mrs on the card. I don't recall asking for Miss, DH filled in the application, I suspect he asked me what I preferred and I probably shrugged and said I didn't care.

So I pass security questions on phone banking only to be told a change of title constitutes a change of name and I need to fill in a form. I gently remonstrate with the chap on the phone but don't make a big fuss because I create enough bureaucracy at work and he's just doing his job. It turns out not only do I have to sign a form but I also have to provide proof of said name change. Seems bloody ridiculous to have to provide an original marriage certificate to change my title when I am entitled to use whatever the hell title I like.
I feel like telling them I want no title and see what kind of proof they require of that! Is it me or does this seem ridiculous?
Men get a default MR but women have to jump through hoops to justify how they want to be identified.

It's not true that it's easy to change from Miss to Ms. I tried doing it (had a bank account set up for me by an employer when I moved to the UK who took it upon themselves to tag me as Miss) and was told
I needed "proof of name change". I asked what on earth would constitute proof and was told they didn't know and I had to figure it out! I'm still Miss as I've never been able to satisfy their stupid requirements. It's ridiculous and sexist.

Almond that was my understanding too.

Technically I believe I can use any name I choose as long as it's not for fraudulent purposes, however, I do understand that some form of documentation can be necessary for audit purposes. Apparently the financial regulators can be very picky so maybe my battle is with them.

You don't have to prove anything for a change of title but they may assume you're changing your name as you're going from miss to Mrs.

I've always been ms and on the odd occasion that an organisation has put me as miss I have changed it very easily. Never happened with a bank though. I'd be kicking up a stink if they wanted proof of a change from miss to ms!

Gallic, your title is not part of your name.

I don't understand why anyone wants to put Dr on their ID? I am a medical doctor too, all my male friends have it, none of my female and anyone with a PhD I know has it. Why? Who needs to know that? The bank have my job on record? Not sure why tesco need to know what I do

Exactly. I did point that out to my bank but the concept wasn't accepted.

I'll send a letter when I return the form. Thing is, they may just be fulfilling the requirements of the financial regulators (can never remember their name)

The FCA.

"I guess its odd because only works for Mrs as you could become Ms without any paperwork. "

Nope. My bank wouldn't let me change my title from Miss to Ms on the phone.

I don't think they required a certificate. I did need to do it at a branch though.

...to prove I was me, I suppose.

A title is NOT part of your name.

Stealth whoever told you that about Miss to Ms is talking utter bollocks.

Apparently the financial regulators can be very picky so maybe my battle is with them

I don't know what you mean by "financial regulators" but having to comply with and deal with various regulatory bodies this is bollocks too.

I use mr on those drop down menu's when dr isnt available but you must put a title (as miss or mrs arent my title either)

It makes peoples heads explode and they get very cross :).

I didn't have any problem when I said I preferred no title. I can have no title on my card, but not on my account, so I said Ms, not Miss please. I regained a title with a new bank card recently, and I got a new new card quite quickly after I complained. Haven't been asked for ID at any point, other than seeing my bank card and putting the PIN (I was at the bank -popped in one Saturday morning among other errands.)

Yes, they should have Ms as default, though.

Really, I use Mr on the rare occasion that Ms isn't available.

LassWi my bank accounts have stealth-changed one by one from Miss to Ms over the last few years, between turning 18 and 22.

But to deliberately change it, as in to change it on the system which is what the OP is requesting, I don't know of any bank or building society that would do it without filling in at least one form, and quite often this will need ID for various reasons (prevention of financial crime being the biggest one).

There are no forms of ID accepted by banks that have your title on them.

my bank accounts have stealth-changed one by one from Miss to Ms over the last few years, between turning 18 and 22

What do you mean "stealth change"?

There is no valid reason in law or banking for a bank to refuse to do this from a simple request.

I go through phases of being Miss or Ms. I have asked banks to change. I have asked them to issue new cards and they do it.

There are no forms of ID accepted by banks that have your title on them

Exactly. There is no official document with a title on it.

Which bank was it?

My current issue is with airlines- you only get mr, mrs or miss.

Depends on the airline. A friend had a recent run-in with an airline over a ticket booked by his university, as Dr X, but whose passport didn't match.

I don't have a title on anything: bank accounts, credit cards, voter's registration, social security card, work ID, driver's license. But I'm American. I get the impression from these sorts of threads that titles are much more important in the UK, maybe because you have so many more possibilities.

The only time I am ever asked for marital status is in connection with income tax forms and work benefits that DH would be entitled to in the event of my demise.

lass I don't doubt that it was complete bollocks however they refused to do it! I've actually made the account dormant rather than closing it so they still have admin costs and decamped elsewhere.

The point is that banks DO require non existent proof of change of title from miss to Ms!

It's drummed into all bank staff that if they make a data protection-related fuck-up they can be held PERSONALLY LIABLE. having the wrong name on file for you, or making changes on your account without proper authorisation, are potential DP fuck-ups. Bank staff also tend to be at the mercy of fairly draconian quality checks to make sure they follow the right processes. The combination of those two things means they won't risk applying common sense where extreme form-filling will do instead.

Which bank was it?

Clydesdale and Bank of Scotland.

I get the impression from these sorts of threads that titles are much more important in the UK, maybe because you have so many more possibilities

My firm don't use generally use titles when writing to clients (other than clients who are titled in the Burke 's peerage sense if that is their preference ) If I were writing to you the letter would be addressed to Seneca Falls and the salutation would be Dear Seneca or Dear Ms Falls.

The no-title address is becoming very common in the US. I lived in Philadelphia for a while where Quaker practice is common. So it would be no title on the envelope, just the name and surname and on the letter, Dear Jane Smith or Dear Friend. Makes a lot of sense to me. Lawyers here still use titles in correspondence, but Ms is the default in the US for adult women so that simplifies it quite a bit.

My firm don't use generally use titles when writing to clients

Politeness says that you use the title the client uses, surely?