I just gave the amazon delivery man a little lecture on the meaning of 'Ms'

[StealingSleep]

I don't usually care too much if people assign me the wrong title, but he specifically asked, then put miss instead of ms on his gadget, so I corrected him. He seemed confused and asked why not Miss? So I explained that generally people took Miss to mean unmarried, Mrs to mean married, and that Ms means it's none of your business, just like Mr doesn't announce a man's marital status. He still seemed confused and seemed to think that Miss and Ms were interchangeable. But by that point he'd finished tapping on his gadget and I was getting cold so I left it. I hope something sticks though!

To be clear, he seemed genuinely interested to get it right, I don't normally give lectures on my doorstep :)

What has annoyed me this last few days is...

I have applied for something quite huge for me. On the application they ask for preferred title... Ms and then later on marital status... married. All fine and dandy.

This morning I have received an email addressed to Mrs Others from one of the parties involved.

If they're not going to respect my choices in this, how can I expect them to respect anything else?

We got a card this morning addressed to Mr and Mrs DHfirstnameinitial Mysurname. It really does throw the more traditionally minded into a spin - gosh, I know she hasn't changed her name, so how do we write Mr and Mrs on the card?!

Grrrr, I hate being Mrs Cedric Rabbit. Cross 'em off the Christmas card list!

It's all so daft isn't it - if we're not sure of surnames we just put 'Laura and Napoleon' on the envelope. I so rarely get addressed by my surname the days anyway - usually it's straight in to 'Sea'. And I never give my name as 'Ms Rabbit', I always give 'Sea Rabbit'

Actually I go by either Miss or Dr because of the cba thing too. I find many don't know Ms. I'm not that attached to titles. But if they ask, I always tell them Dr .

I'm from NZ and we don't do titles. It's just first name basis for everything.

SomeDyke - I have a friend who calls themselves Pike in certain coffee shops, in reference to the Dad's Army episode ('Don't tell him Pike').

It was apparently shouted from the back of a queue in said coffee shop, when somebody objected to giving their name.

I feel, if maritial status isn't important, then staying as a Miss should be the default. Just like Mr. It's the default title for men.

But I'm equally open to Mrs being the default title. Actually it's the default if you are in your mid thirties. I always got called Mrs and I'm sure it's because I look middle aged.

But then people defaulting to Mrs for older women ofc is practising ageism. It's only women who got this. If you are young, you are automatically a Miss. If you are old, you are a Mrs.

DH and I both have birthdays in December, mine is first. We have the same initial but different surnames. Turns out I received a lot of birthday cards which were left unopened as I looked at the surname, not the title and thought they were for him.

I often think I should start using Ms and then everything will be wrong apart from my initial.

Ms means divorced I was always told

The more you know, eh, salene?

It's never meant divorced - I'm not doubting that's what you've been told, Salene, but its usage has always been intended not to classify a woman by her marital status.

Interesting points Lanchester. I moved back to the UK recently after a long time and was surprised at the use of first names, from people I had not necessarily met. As I had to reply to one and complain/argue with them about their service, I did not want to put "Dear Alex" as if writing to a friend. I was forced to, however, as I didn't know his/her surname or sex.
So I had to put "Dear Alex bla bla yours faithfully FirstName LastName"

Interesting tribpot ! Msdick though? What's that about?

I think I will from now on write Ms. for any woman and campaign for the plural to be Mses (pronounced Muz and Muzzes respectively)

I think we need a mumsnet campaign.
Well done OP. Maybe soon we won't have to explain every time

Yeah I believe you , that's just what I've always thought , so someone at some point must of told me that 😂

I will still keep thinking that most likely to

Hector and somedyke my very clearly female mother (who doesn't really get Starbucks) when to get a hot chocolate for my brother and gave her name as "Edward" as it was for him
Nobody batted an eyelid which makes me tempted to gradually increase the weirdness of the names I give until someone notices.

Mumsnet to my shame, I was asked for my title in a shop and accidentally said Miss instead of Ms
I've only started using Ms for everything fairly recently as I thought being a 17 year old Ms was a bit precocious and raised a few eyebrows. My bank cards still say Miss and I cba to change them.

dave gorman, gives some good coffe shop names my fav from the list was just the coffee he had ordered.

I was told Ms was for divorced women in the 80s, but once realised that was not it started using for myself in 1989 with my first bank account.
But i have got slacker as i got older as I am married, and honestly don't really care much anymore

If I see my GP she calls firstnamesecondname then mrsseccondname. I don't want to be Mrs anymore, it's a Pita to change your name. Where do you start, with a passport?

I am divorced and was planning on changing back to my maiden name now my children are nearly finished school and can sort their own health care.

HeadDreamer wrote - "I'm from NZ and we don't do titles."

For a country that doesn't do titles, I find it ironic that not only does New Zealand have a beauty pageant for Miss New Zealand, it also has beauty pageants for Ms New Zealand and Mrs New Zealand.

Ha ha I would have told him Its Mis-tress to him and he better do what I tell him.

vesuvia like the UK I don't think many people are aware of the pageants.

What I meant is how people are addressed. And also in official forms. The use of titles are much more prevalent here. You will know if you lived there for a while. We are much more likely to go by first names.

Just look at this thread. Some posters find it uncomfortable to be addressed by first name when they aren't familiar with the other person. I never have such problem.

Salene why would you deliberately keep believing something that is incorrect?

I have NEVER heard that Ms means divorced. i have always used it and am not even married. I am also more than happy to just be my given name. The only peiple who get confused by it all are the kids school who either call me Ms Partners Surname or Mrs My Surname. But i thibk thisbis my only fault as i once made a sarcastic comment when they called me Mrs Partners Surname.

I once gave Ms as my title on the phone to a company and they then sent me post to Mz Surname.