"The hardest thing about being a wOman is deciding what to wear"

[IndominusRex]

I've never posted here before so I'm a bit nervous (waves hello) but reading this quote from the Glamour awards made me so frustrated I could burst.

So to stop me feeling like my head might actually explode, I'd like to ask, what's your hardest thing about being a woman?

I'm stuck choosing between endometriosis, constantly being told by society that I'm doing things wrong, being felt up on the tube, or the lovely PTSD thanks to abusive ex.

Although picking the right t shirt out IS tough sometimes...

I think I find the low-level constant feeling of lack of safety. My office is on an industrial estate and now that the evenings have got dark, I feel unsafe walking to my car even though I know it's statistically improbable that I'll be attacked. But that constant message that I've heard all my life, that I'm not safe on the streets after dark, has permeated my consciousness and I can't help feeling scared every day. There's a hashtag going

#HardestPartOfBeingAWoman

I don't suppose for a moment that CJ came up with that vacuous bullshit herself, it would have been carefully scripted by whichever PR handlers are in charge of the multiple Kardashian personas. And if Kim K had said it, nobody would bat an eyelid, because we're used to celebrity women saying things like that.

It's still frickin irritating though.

Basil Yes! I was thinking about this today, if I walk anywhere I'm on low level alert. Always, I can't switch it off and it's bloody annoying. But since the moment I got breasts and starting looking vaguely like a woman, I was then subject to public harrasment by men and boys. I was primary school when another boy snuck into the bathroom and told me I had a nice fanny when I was on the loo. I was ten! I suspect the vast majority of women had this from their early teens, bloody great isn't it.

Lmao, reading those comments was the funniest thing ever. The general public isn't buying your shit, Caitlin.

The dehumanisation. Can't really describe it - but when a teen and spending time with teen boys the judgement on women and girls looks was so depressing. If you didn't literally look like a supermodel you were beyond contempt - even skinny little grim looking boys sneering at any woman that didn't look like Cindy Crawford. Even at the time I couldn't get my head round this double standard. I worked in a paper shop as a teenager and felt so uncomfortable with the Sport and Sun and their weird leery language accompanying pictures of girls my age with their tops off pouting.

Whole swathes of the internet dedicated to the degradation and abuse of women. We all surely just want to be treated as people not sexual objects.

Look at the other thread, in the unfeminist part of the forums.

Maybe THAT is the hardest thing about being a woman in today's society.

I agree KERALA, the thing I find the hardest is not being treated like a person. Being sexually assaulted was awful, but the part that's stayed with me is the fact that I'm not seen as a full person, just something that exists in relation to a man. Being hassled by some drunk guy who won't leave me alone is annoying and frightening, but it's the apology he makes to my partner or friend when they arrive that hurts the most, because I know to so many people I'm just property.

It's difficult to list all the things that make it difficult to be a woman. Clothes are the absolute last thing I'd think of. It's easier to say, what was difficult today because then the list isn't as long. Just this afternoon, working on a spreadsheet with a male colleague but in a group situation. I didn't understand a particular part so I questioned it. He patronisingly explained the entire task to me when a five second explanation would've cut it. Later he needed clarification on a point, but not because he didn't understand oh no, it was because I'd made it complicated and 'lost him'.

I think one of the hardest parts of being a woman is seeing a man told that he's a better woman than most of us.

I'm with all you endometriosis sufferers (and adenomyosis) and the benign tumour I had taken out after a year of not being taken seriously, oh oh and the massive polyp I had taken out after ANOTHER year of not being taken seriously, and the pretty nasty strain of HPV my abusive ex gave me which required some pretty serious laser treatment whilst awake - oh and the infection that came from that - oh and the infection I had after childbirth.

The hormone imbalance I had from taking the pill at 14 due to heavy periods which caused me to want to kill myself.

The prolapse I have after giving birth and the time and heaviness of carrying a 10lb+++ baby with polyhydramnios (baby number 2).

Childbirth

The fact I got my dh where he is now as I suggested EVERY SINGLE THING he does in his career and I have more experience, however when I go back to work next year it will be at least three rungs down the ladder than he is.

I actually count myself lucky as a woman compared to others.

Fuck you Bruce and your dress issues.

I've been thinking about this since reading the thread and I may not be popular for posting my thoughts. And it is all coloured by the fact that I am in an affluent and relatively progressive nation with good health.

I honestly don't find anything hard about being a woman. Niggled but nothing serious. I do not get harassed in the street or talked down to at work. The reality of rape and its danger is horrific and wrong but I do not personally feel afraid. Periods were a nuisance but that's biology - we're mammals! Funnily enough deciding what to wear IS a stressful thing because I don't 'get' fashion, never had any interest in clothes and makeup. But that pressure comes more from other women. Men at work are much more interested in what I'm doing with my brain than what I wear and I've only once had a creepy approach from a boss - nearly 40 years ago!

I guess I've been very lucky. I would certainly hate to be a man and have people talk to me about football all the time!

At the moment, I am pregnant with my first, much-wanted, baby. However, I have hyperemesis which means that I have been signed off work for the last 6 weeks, and I am unlikely to return until the new year. So my career is already disrupted while in this time, DH has been offered a promotion.

I have also had the experience of not being taken seriously by health professionals.

I have quite a high voice, and I am constantly aware of both the effect it has on people taking me seriously, and also my concern that I will be labelled as 'shrill.'

But yes, trying to find just the right dress to wear is my major concern.

Now I'm stressing that my post sounds smug and uncaring. I didn't mean in any way to demean the issues others have, just that it was all reading like being a woman was nothing but misery. And I still struggle with anxiety in spite of my life being basically ok!

Cooroo my husband doesn't have to talk about football all the time. He has no interest in it and is unapologetic about saying so. He's more a rugby man. He doesn't feel that he has to keep up with football because people will judge him negatively.

I'm not having a pop at you btw I'm just trying to use your description to try to highlight that only women feel the need to moderate their views in case they are perceived as aggressive, hormonal etc.

Being a woman who follows football is always fun. You're asked at least daily if you understand the offside rule...

I don't even like football and have only half watched a couple of World Cup matches but even I understand the offside rule - it's not complicated.

I have no interest in football so it's great that people don't expect me to. My DP (male) also isn't interested and has to fend off men saying 'hello mate, did you see the match?' all the time!

I dunno. I was once playing rounders on that horrible sharp gravel stuff and fell somewhere between second and third base. Everyone ran over to help me up and tend to my burger reminiscent knee. I realised that nobody had got me out so after being helped up I legged it and got the rounder before going to pick gravel out of my knee.

@Coroo: Half the stress about being a woman is being aware that you have only been lucky, and the next rape victim could be you. I live in an area where harrassment seldomly happens (which I know is because I am privileged) and I don't personally have bad period cramps.

Still, I was once attacked by a man, and that's bad enough. And then there's all the subtle misogyny you don't even notice in everyday life. Even the most privileged of women cannot play games like World of Warcraft without being confronted with sexist stereotyping.

One of the most physical games I played as a teenager was Camogie (Irish Hockey). By goodness you had to be physically strong and mentally tough to play the game. I always supported the team, because they were awesome and was privileged to get to play, even though I was substituted in the second half. I did a goal assist, of which I will be eternally proud. Our coach was a nun!