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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Can I be proud of DD here please?!

82 replies

NotTodaySatan · 20/10/2015 11:50

It was DD's 7th party last week and it was at hell a soft play.

At the end of the disco the party organiser asked the girls and boys to split into groups to receive their party bags.

DD asked (politely): Excuse me, why are there separate bags for girls and boys?

Party Host: Umm. Because that's just how it is (me: Confused).

DD: well it's wrong. Girls might want to play with the toys in the boys bags and boys might want to play with the the toys in the girls bags. It's gender stereotyping.

Party host: Nothing.

Then one of DD's friends, clutching the fashion related toy from her bag said "Boys don't play with fashion toys" with a grimace.

DD: Of course they do. There are lots of male fashion designers. Don't be silly.

I'm proud of her Smile.

OP posts:
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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/10/2015 16:38

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PlaysWellWithOthers · 21/10/2015 16:45

Agreed Buffy.

Just as long as we're nice about it, eh?

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iPaid · 21/10/2015 18:59

I have a feeling she didn't actually say it as relayed by the OP. But I'll leave you keyboard warriors to it.

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NotTodaySatan · 21/10/2015 19:03

She did iPaid. Verbatim.

I understand that might be difficult for parents of more average children to envision but it's what happened Smile.

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Devora · 21/10/2015 19:04

I COMPLETELY believe she said it as relayed by the OP: at 7, my dd would have done similar.

Yay for baby feminists. Girlguiding is doing its best to raise a generation of them Smile

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/10/2015 19:06

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NeverEverAnythingEver · 21/10/2015 19:08

She sounds fab.

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fuzzpig · 21/10/2015 19:09

She is awesome :o I don't think she was rude. She was asking a perfectly valid question.

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welshHairs · 21/10/2015 19:36

Way to go to all the dc here! Although it's a shame that feetheart's dd's girl guiding group is a bit rubbish.

And you wonder why so few MNers bother posting in the Feminist section.

You know iPaid, to my knowledge, people don't blindly agree with each other in any section of mn. Would be quite boring if they did IMO.

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iPaid · 21/10/2015 20:13

I understand that might be difficult for parents of more average children to envision but it's what happened

No children of MNers are average - they're all top set and headed for Russell Group universities Wink

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PlaysWellWithOthers · 21/10/2015 20:19

welsh... sadly, there is a large section of MN posters who believe that, if FWR regs were just nicer to everyone, then people would want to post here. Odd that, given how utterly hideous a lot of the posters are in AIBU, to each other and to anyone who dares dip their toe in, and yet it's one of the busiest parts of the forum, no?

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ChunkyPickle · 21/10/2015 20:29

It's a secondary flounce isn't it - we sit here eating cake and having generally civilised discussions, people pop their head up, get bizarrely annoyed at something said to them and tell us that's why they don't post here.

Meanwhile I sit here with a cup of tea half way to my lips and wonder what on earth they're reading that I'm not that makes them think this.

AIBU, and anything to do with kids lunches/school time holidays I stay away from. It can get very judgy indeed.

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Trills · 21/10/2015 20:31

I think she sounds brilliant.

Now, since she is so above-average, you can have a chat with her about how the person she spoke to probably can't do anything about it, and write a letter as well.

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PlaysWellWithOthers · 21/10/2015 20:31

It's that they want us to care about it that gets me.

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PorcupineNecktie · 21/10/2015 20:37

Lovely thread! Your DC are excellent! :D

Agree with pp, precocious is only directed at females.

Exactly. I spent my whole life thinking "precocious" meant "horrible, irritating little brat" until I was informed by XH that it actually means "beyond one's years". As a girl and a boy respectively, we'd been given the same label in vastly different ways.

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SenecaFalls · 21/10/2015 20:40

people don't blindly agree with each other in any section of mn

Exactly. Many other sections have very heated debates, but even a mildly challenging remark in FWR will prompt the "this is why I never post in the feminist section" remarks.

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welshHairs · 21/10/2015 20:58

Yes Plays, it's strange. I generally feel quite uplifted after reading the feminism section and feel there is a sense of camaraderie here, in the main, even though I'm not really a part of it. Most disagreement is rationalised in a respectful way. Yet aibu, where this generally isn't the case, doesn't get told 'be nice or you'll scare other poster's away'.

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NeverEverAnythingEver · 21/10/2015 21:06

Chunky has tea and cake?? Envy

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ChunkyPickle · 21/10/2015 21:09

DS1 was at a birthday party, they had spare cake, I said I'd help them out with that :)

A rather nice layered chocolate cake if you were wondering.

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/10/2015 21:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 21/10/2015 21:34

See, FWR posters are nice, helping out with cakes and stuff. Grin

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PlaysWellWithOthers · 21/10/2015 21:34


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SheWhoMustBe · 21/10/2015 21:36

Satan - I didn't read all of this because I couldn't hack it after Bubbletree et al weighed in...I'm sorry about some of the things they've said about your daughter. Anyway - she sounds totally fantastic and I'll be proud if mine turns out similarly. Good for her (and you for raising her, obviously). Smile

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greenhill · 21/10/2015 21:52

I'm proud of her too.

Did anyone mention cake Cake ?

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SenecaFalls · 21/10/2015 22:13

Yes, proud of Satan's and ShowofHands' DDs and all the other feminist DDs in training.

Can I be proud of DD here please?!
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