changed my surname but hate this way of being addressed

[DidIMissSomething]

I took my husbands surname on marriage which I'm happy with - we married young and actually a new name gave me a chance to forge my own identity. However I've noticed more and more recently that we are referred to as Mr and Mrs his initial surname or infuriatingly I alone am addressed as Mrs his initial surname. This drives me nuts. Yes we've got one family name but I do still exist as a separate person not just an appendage.

Should I challenge this - I feel like I should. DDs new school has just distributed a contact list where we are listed like this and I really hate it.

crazy Wtf are you on?

DP's aunt always addresses cards to Mr and Mrs DP's initial DP's surname. We're not even married (which she knows). So as she has omitted to include my title, my first name and my surname I don't bother opening them.

Crazy has been shown the door after an impressive afternoon trolling FWR, I believe.

iwould - I'm often so tempted to return to sender marked 'one addressee not known at this address'.

" I married and changed my name at 18 and being Mrs his initial his surname felt grown up and official. "

losing your identity felt 'grown up'?

I wonder if men would feel like that. How women are infantilised.

My son's new preschool, despite having had numerous firms filled out clearly by me and DH in which it is clear that I am Dr Liomsa Mysurname and my husband is Dr Hisname HisSurname - we're married and our son has both surnames - keeps billing us as Miss Liomsa MySurname and Dr HisSurname. Not only concluding that, if I'm not using DH's name, I must not be married to him, but that Miss clearly trumps 'Dr'.

I'm more than a bit astonished that an otherwise professional organisation is so 1950s.

Liomsa that's really bad that they can't get something as clear as your name correct! They obviously can't get their heads around two Doctors being married to each other. Have you spoken to them about it?

No, I'm trying to finish a book and am in a permanently harassed bad mood at the moment. Plus I don't do drop-offs and pick-ups, so I'd have to trek over specially and bite off heads! I should probably get a night's sleep before doing anything. I will, though.