Today my 9 year old has been taught that as she grows older, hair will grow on her vagina!

[Ziggyzoom]

I raised this in year 1 when they sent a work sheet home. I can't decide whether to keep ploughing on or satisfy myself with the knowledge that at least my daughters know the correct names for their anatomy.

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

Yeah really no though.

If a child came running in and said "so and so wanted to look at my flower" and then ran off again I would assume it was something to do with flowers.

I really don't think the whole "well with context you'll be able to guess" is a good reason for not having a pretty much universal word for girls as there is for boys.

Similarly if a child said "so and so touched my vagina" it would conjure up a very different image to me, to what might be something completely unremarkable eg another child hitting them in the groin when running past or something.

Like I say though, if people think it's fine for there to be tons of different euphamisms for girls and so forth that's fine, but I don't really understand the argument against those who don't think it's fine. Is it to get people to say oh yes you're right girls should be taught the bit they grow hair on at puberty is their vagina and it's OK for any old word to be used to refer to it as people will be able to guess from context (even though actually maybe they won't if the context isn't there?).

The point is people on the thread are being silly, is that it, and evreything's fine?

[YonicScrewdriver]

Yy Tei

Branleuse, I think it's less about you being able to work it out and more about the risk that things could be more easily downplayed in court. Also, "willies" are spoken about relatively freely; a little girl listening to a group of parents discussing, say, changing nappies on girls would I think hear a big variety of terms and more hesitation in using them, which might in turn make it a little bit harder to talk about her own genitals.

[CollatalieSisters]

I called it fanny for my DD, but my mil (who is in a different region) was appalled - for her it was almost like cunt. She was unable to provide an alternative, and didn't see the necessity for any word(s) to use.

When I was little, I learned that the difference between boys and girls is that boys have willies. That was it.

So neither my parents nor DPs parents had a word at all - no flowers or fairies or fannies or anything. It may not be the biggest issue in the world, but ime there's definitely a real gender disparity there.

[Branleuse]

saying that flower is a rubbish and vague name for genitals, is one thing, but if a child said so and so keeps touching my fanny, then i dont think thats ambiguous at all, unless youre talking about a british child using it to an american police officer with no knowledge of local language ofc

[jorahmormont]

Vulva sounds grim therefore I refuse to use it.

I'm not afraid to talk about my foof/minge/cunt/fanny/bits/ladygarden/whatever. I just don't want to call it a vulva, and won't raise DD to call it a vulva either.

[NorahDentressangle]

Vulva sounds grim partly because we aren't used to using it.

Penis isn't fun or quaint but we just use it anyway.

If you say it enough it sounds ok, the French for it is vulv, I think according to google. You could get used to it I think.

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

I don't think anyone is saying that anything is a "rubbish" name. That's really harsh.

People will give the children the words that they deem appropriate according to their own upbringings, locality and society, and that is of course perfectly normal. I'd never say any of it was "rubbish". I would like for things to change though, so that there were commonly used and understood words for the more obvious bits of girls genitals, as there are for boys, so that stuff like happened in the OP wouldn't happen.

For some of the children in that class, it's more than possible vagina means vagina, and they will now think it's going to get hairy. That's not good, is it.

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

YY norah it's because the words aren't used, and they aren't used because people are squeamish.

It doesn't really matter what the word/s are - just as long as everyone uses them and they are "friendly" and normal to use. I think.

[PuffinsAreFictitious]

No Bran, I get where you're coming from, I really do, but the language used is really not that straightforward. Even when it is, if the case actually makes it to court, all the defence brief has to do is show that the child doesn't know exactly which part of their body their abuser has touched, because they have been using euphemisms, if that makes sense? I'm not suggesting that small children wander about discussing their anatomy with random people using the correct terminology, just that they are armed with the info should they need it IYSWIM?

[Yops]

Yonic, you asked me what word was equivalent to 'willy'. Where I am from it's fanny. It's isn't offensive or controversial. But I accept it might not be the same for everyone everywhere. A bit like willy.

Sirchenjin made a good point - as an academic argument I can see why people might want to discuss it. But in reality, I don't think there is shame over children's bodies. It (same, uncleanliness) might apply to adult women in the context of menstruation, but why would there be a problem with describing a child's body where this does not apply?

And Basil, can you stop with the sarcasm, or at least try to make it funny?

[YonicScrewdriver]

Yops, that's interesting. To me, willy is a near universal word for boy genitals but fanny is far from the same for girls - even if not offensive, it's not universal. Is it the main word in your area?

[Branleuse]

vulva doesnt sound too bad, but vagina is horrible. Horrible, in the same way that gusset, clusters, pregnant and moist are disgusting words.

[YonicScrewdriver]

Wow, Branleuse. That's a very strong opinion.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Nah. 'vulva' sounds too much like a boxy scandinavian car, but 'vagina' is quite a pretty word - like a flower name.

[ChilliAndMint]

I was thinking Eastern European, pre Berlin Wall coming down..may I present the FSO Scrotum de luxe..the Skoda Vulva estate ....

[SirChenjin]

I like vagine - said with a french accent.

Why do we have to have a universal word for female parts? To me, that's the joy of language - and unless you're living under a rock, most people will know what a foof/fanny/quim/front bottom/ninny/etc etc etc is - or if they really have no clue then they could use their common sense and work it out from the context. A willy is a willy because it is one visual thing - our bits (plural)are more involved and hidden. It's just one of those things (shrug)

[prettybird]

In Glasgow all children at state schools except some of the Catholic schools are taught the correct terms in a matter of fact way from P1: when doing parts of the body, they're labelled "head", "foot", "arm", "hand", "foot", "penis", "vulva"......

It's funny seeing them labelled in comic san serif. Teachers said it was embarrassing at first and then they realised that the embarrassment came from their own reaction. It's part of an integrated Sexual Health and Relationships Education programme that is laid out 3-16.

[beavington]

I remember asking my DM what it was called that girls had instead of willies. I was getting walked to school so i dunno what i called it the years previously. Anyway she told me it was a 'min'! I also rsmember seeing a word written down in class (couldve been minimum) and covering it up to say 'min' and pissing myself and telling my friend to look and she was like WTF. I later realised that everyone else called it a fanny and thats what i still call it now as done everyone i know. No one says vaginas or penises.

Despite that ive not corrected my dd to stop saying boo boo and start saying fanny. Only just realised that i also think it would be crass from a 2yr old and maybe ive always said fanny in the same way id say cunt.

Seriously though has anyone else ever heard of a min?!

[SirChenjin]

Yep - I've heard of min and minny. Thought they were pretty well known terms tbh

[beavington]

Really? Ah my DM wasnt local so maybe it was normal to her and hadnt made it up afterall! Its a world of fanny and minge where i am. Minge is never said in a nice way mind.

[Heckler]

I would not in the past not know about any of those terms (only on mumsnet have I found them)

We just did the correct anatomy in my family, ya know, bladder, not pee bag etc.

And on this "And balls are used to refer to the scrotum, which is wrong, and another common misnomer"...

If I say balls I mean testicles. If I mean the sack in which they are suspended then I say scrotum. If I mean the prostate, I say prostate.

[NotCitrus]

I stuck with vulva and vagina as the easiest option when faced with boys quizzing me about their baby sister and then to console her when she got upset about not having a willy. Seems that nursery also refer to vulvas, so now I've had a year of "mummy! Can you wipe my vulva?"and "you didn't wipe me properly, there's still wee on my vulva" and "no I don't want to wipe my vulva myself" about 3x a day...

I did explain periods as a "mummy cushion" coming out, though.

I've seen a bunch of gynaecologists (all male) and had way too many discussions about my genitalia and being able to use humourless clinical terms helped a lot.

[YonicScrewdriver]

I've heard of Minnie; never thought of it as coming from minge though!

[nooka]

I do wonder what the boys were told, and do think it's an issue that there isn't a commonly used word like willy for girls. It is a pity that fanny isn't widely used because I thin it is equivalent really. That doesn't mean that there couldn't be other words as well of course, just like there are for boys sexual/peeing organs, but I agree they are a bit different.

I think I'd say that pubic hair will grow in the pubic area for both boys and girls (don't think I actually said anything at all other than you will get hairy like me/dad and they knew what that meant from having seen us naked). I used penis and vulva but dd picked up some other euphemisms from somewhere or other.

I don't tend to think of my mons pubis as being part of my vulva (I tend to think of the labia and in as my vulva) and I don't think I have any pubic hair on my inner labia, just the outer labia so to me saying you will get hair on your vulva just doesn't seem very accurate. Vagina is obviously wrong though.

[MerryMarigold]

We also call 'breasts' boobs our house !!!!

I'm not squeamish but I do think in school 'pubic area' is best as they are so giggly and embarrassed already.

I don't think however open or medically accurate you are, the embarrassment will go. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it is actually right to feel the embarrassment as a child as it is a form of protection, and comes from knowing this place is special/ different from other places. You should feel differently about your vagina/ vulva/ labia/ mons pubis than you do about your arm, because it is a private place and not to be touched, viewed by any old Tom, Dick or Harry.