Chugger - "do you mean yes?"

[GinAndSonic]

Am I being overly sensitive today?
I was approached by a chugger for a well known charity on a busy shopping street, im in a rush so i said no thank you, whoch he responded to with "do you mean yes?"

I was pretty annoyed, but i dont know if im being petty. I know they have a job to do but i dont see why he feels so entitled to my time that he would say that. It feels very "i can guilt the little woman into indulging me". Its plain rude if nothing else, to not take no for an answer, but just the phrasing of it felt awful. I said "what a horrible thing to say" and walked off. He then accosted me again as i left the sandwich shop i entered, to ask why i thought it was so horrible. I just sort of gawped and went "i cant think of a single situation where an.appropriate response to 'no' is 'do you mean yes?', its so disrespectful, and especially to say it to a woman who has said no to you" he apologised but i feel pretty pissed off that he felt the need to accost me a second time to ask me to explain myself.

Im not being a total arsehole here, am i?

I have stony face, say "no" to any question and keep walking.

Apart from the Amnesty one, where I said, "no, I don't agree with your stance on prostitution" and kept walking.

Love the shushing!!

Also loving the shushing! And Unspecial you've hit the nail on the head for me too, after having lived for quite some time in Spain where I was incessantly harassed on the street, especially at night, with vile phrases and allegedly innocuous 'chat up' lines. I hadn't quite realised why I hate the chuggers so much before you wrote that.

I agree they're a complete menace, and I'm sure some people get targetted more than others, they very rarely stop me, and if they do I just say no thanks without catching their eye or breaking my stride. I have to say the rape overtone thing wouldn't have even crossed my mind, nor would the possibility that they might only say it to women. However, I do think you have a point, if this was AIBU, YADNBU.

I might try "I'm only 17" next time.

I keep walking briskly and if I feel I have to reply I say something like 'I'd love to help you as I am sure you would love to help me with the XXXX project/campaign that I am involved with'. No one ever does .

I asked earlier but has anyone got any information on how much revenue is actually gained by these chuggers, presumably charities wouldn't pursue with it if it wasn't making a reasonable return?

Most of them are polite enough, just a bit irritating.

Some go way too far.
I can't stand the ones who do all flirty flirty with every passing woman. Bletch.

Had one force her way into our offices once and refuse to leave. Came into reception, receptionist said no she can't come round and talk to our staff at their desks, and she just said 'oh I won't be long' and forced her way in anyway. Unluckily for her, mine was the first desk she came to. She was extremely indignant at being ejected (it took a few minutes, cheeky mare was most determined and I almost had to get physical!) I complained to the charity and got an apology.

Yes that's a hideous thing to say. It's good he was interested in understanding why really.

Reminds me of a waiter once who asked if I wanted coffee. I vacillated a little, 'no thanks, oh well ok, thanks' and got a 'witty' 'oh typical woman, they always say no when they mean yes, ha ha', addressed to my dining companion, my dad. Ugh.

Also of emails I received for a while from Virgin Wines, after I'd taken up one of those 'half price case, no obligation but we'd really like you to sign up to a case a month' offers. They were along the lines of 'i haven't heard from you for a while, I hope you haven't forgotten about me, how about x,y,z, from, some bloke'. Can't recall exactly. The tone just struck an immediate 'creepy, stalky bloke' chord with me. I responded to tell them this. Young marketing twit clearly did not give a damn or have any interest in trying to understand my pov, or learn why they might put off other women with this approach. I told them never to contact me again.

On a lighter note, I hit on my best 'win win' response to chuggers a few years ago, once when this answer was true (then realised it was a brilliant stock response); ' oh, I already support you', smile and walk. Cheery greeting back. All happy.

I used payroll giving at the time, which is much better, as there are no recruitment fees (chugger wages) to cover and it's pre-tax income, so no faffing about recovering gift aid either, just straight up full value income.

"And I doubt they do they smiley, flirty, jumping into your path thing to men either."

It's happened to me by student age female chuggers.
I suspect it's something they're trained to do - "charm"/flirt.

"I asked earlier but has anyone got any information on how much revenue is actually gained by these chuggers, presumably charities wouldn't pursue with it if it wasn't making a reasonable return?"

Don't know, but I know some of them outsource to "marketing" companies who don't give a damn about anything but getting credit card details signed up. And someone at the marketing companies make plenty, but not the chuggers.

I used to work for a charity that didn't use chuggers but did use other forms of 'face to face' recruitment, like stands in supermarkets with info and recruiters keen to talk to you. I don't know the numbers but it was certainly worthwhile financially, even though paying the recruitment company cost most of the first year's membership fee. People would sign up for much higher monthly direct debits that way than if approaching the charity themselves.

Therein lay a risk and an ethical concern. The recruiters earned NMW or commission, whichever was higher. So they had an incentive to get people to sign up for the highest figure possible. The drop-out rate was proportional to the monthly payment amount though, people would sign up for ridiculous amounts, realise they couldn't afford it and pull out after a month or two. There was some clause about retention in the recruiters' contracts, so no commission for early drop outs. What was astounding, and the ethical issue, was what low incomes some of these high monthly rate sign up people were clearly on. There was definitely a risk of gabby, personable recruiters exploiting naive or slightly vulnerable people.

They come to the door here in Aus. I find this particularly offensive because it means they are targeting those who are home in the day - in general elderly people and SAHP. My dgparents would all have found this very distressing in their last few years and wouldn't have known how to say no.

Hope you've complained OP. Horrible thing for him to say and do.

I am sometimes tempted to say 'have you see that episode of Friends where the encyclopaedia salesman visits Joey?' Uh-huh. You see, those of us clearly not at work during the day, are not all that likely to have a high income, are we?'

Bit disingenuous as a SAHM or on mat leave but there is a point there. I didn't get approached anything like as much when I was 'busy looking woman in nice business clothes that indicated decent income' than I do as 'mum who clearly hasn't bought herself new clothes in four years'.

diggerdigsdogs

They do that here too, two memorable ones

them: have you heard of these charities?
Me: yes my mum has cancer and is supported by X
them: That's good then
Me: No it isn't go away.

The other was 2 or 3 different people knocked on the door the same day, 1 after dark. I was furious and phoned the charity (before no.3 had called) and pointed out where I live is bungalows specifically for people with health issues/disabilities.

They are vile creatures.