Being told to smile more at work

[milesofsmiles]

I'm a long time lurker on these boards and wanted to vent after getting some feedback at work.
Lots of it valid but one bit in particular has really angered me!

One of the points was along the lines of "can't think of any areas to develop but she could smile more". I can't imagine it being said about a man. Or the manager of any male colleagues taking it seriously and talking to me about attitude - like my manager did!

It has really pissed me off!

I agree with Whirlpoolgalaxy - I bet men don't very often get told to smile more

You got it Yonic

Depends what you do for a living really, and whether it's likely that a man would be expected to be smiley and approachable too, in a similar role - nursing for example, or anything customer facing really. It might be sexism, might not be.

Yes to women smiling more than men - plenty of research has shown it, and I have read transwomen saying it was one of the things they had to learn to do to pass as female. People in groups lower down the hierarchy smile more than those above them.
In that context there is an undertone of 'you need to display more submissive bbehaviour' to it.

What's your job?

Customer service, client facing or community centred - everyone could get this. I've given this feedback to someone working with SN teenagers - some jobs you need to smile and ooze enthusiasm.
Professions with a more technical, data driven nature YY I would find it sexist. For example in the technical part of my job I need to be serious and people need to follow my instructions carefully, as what I do is take government policy/best practice/new methods, apply them to my place of work and train/brief staff accordingly; I shouldn't need to butter up or cajole because I'm a woman.

I get it OP.

FFS RTFT people before you queue up to reassure the OP that it might not be sexist because she might work in a customer-facing role.

She clarified in her second post that she doesn't, so that's cleared that up.

No need to give examples of where such feedback definitely wasn't sexist because those examples aren't relevant to the OP's situation.

Although of course, it's always useful to have reminders that sometimes things which can be sexist in some situations, are not in others, because otherwise we crazy feminists are in danger of seeing sexism where it doesn't exist. What with it being so rare and all.

Even if miles was in a customer facing role, the level of expectation for smiling would be greater with her than her male colleagues.

Yes absolutely.

There is no male equivalent of "resting bitch-face".

Oops... only just realised what a gendered concept that is!