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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Humanitarian workers need to visit brothels, apparently.

56 replies

IPityThePontipines · 02/05/2015 13:17

This might have been covered here already, but in the wake of UN worker in CAR being linked to child abuse, here is an atrocious article about humanitarians' "need" for sex.
www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2014/jul/10/humanitarian-workers-sex-global-development

By humanitarians, they of course mean male humanitarians and by sex, they include organising a staff trip to a brothel.

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 04/05/2015 12:49

I am actually quite glad that article is as awful as it is and hope it'll backfire in that it will shine a beacon on this practice.

What cruikshank describes is so commonplace AngrySadAngry and is all to do with the huge power imbalance between aid workers and most of the indigenous population.

I was involved in some NGO work in Uganda some 20 years ago and left utterly disillusioned about how much 'good' humanitarian aid is doing.
I now support MSF because I think there's a place for fast disaster aid, but other than that I think 'International Aid' is rather self-serving.

Btw, when I arrived at the small district town I lived in various local girls offered their services as my house girl within literally minutes of my arrival. And none of them believed me when I said I had no house. White - rich - house. And, to be fair, many local people preferred to work for expats because they were beaten and raped less. And paid more.
I have no idea what the solution is, but clearly advocating that aid workers have a 'right' to sex is just ludicrous.

paxtecum · 04/05/2015 12:52

I agree.
I read about humanitarian workers exchanging food for favours with children a few years ago and it did shock me to the core.
I began to wonder if that is why they do that work.

almondcakes · 04/05/2015 14:07

I think anyone with a direct debit should email the charity with a link to the article, and ask for a statement on whether such behaviour is forbidden in the contracts of their aid workers.

INickedAName · 05/05/2015 14:42

Watch the film Whistleblower op, it was on netflix and still is I think. Based on a true story, I think the response to what the main character in the film attempted to do is petrifying.

I've just watched this, it's horrifying, these people were meant to be helping, instead they played an active part in the trafficking. No convictions so they got away with it all. Those poor girls, thinking they were safe when they saw the uniformed men.

AskBasil · 05/05/2015 19:42

Almondcakes, that's an excellent idea, I'm going to do that, thank you

almondcakes · 05/05/2015 19:53

Basil, really we could all do this whether we have a direct debit or not. But I am so shocked by this article that I have kind of given up at this point.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 05/05/2015 20:17

Thing is I'm not at all shocked this goes on. The PP stories are not surprising, unfortunately.

I am however genuinely shocked that it is officially sanctioned and they have people whose job in part is to think about how to facilitate it.

almondcakes · 05/05/2015 20:30

I am shocked that the article seems to be condoning it, rather than it being seems as an appalling situation that should be investigated and stopped.

BuffyNeverBreaks · 05/05/2015 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 05/05/2015 21:09

Yes, I agree it is shocking that this practice is condoned and facilitated.

Otoh, I can see how when somebody is in a very 'foreign' (by which I mean unfamiliar) environment can get lonely and seek human contact. I almost think the situation of local 'girl friends' is more fraught with moral dilemma, but I am in no way defending using sex workers and going to brothels. And I don't think that there is a right to sex, but more to do with male entitlement. I wonder how many female aid workers 'need' sex??
Confused
I knew one lovely middle-aged European man who was with his local girlfriend for 20+ years before his ex-wife agreed to a divorce and he then married her within a few months. The impression I got from their relationship was that it was as consensual and loving as these things get when cultures come together on an uneven power footing.

Badonna · 07/05/2015 10:59

Thank you for sharing this article. It is heartbreaking and speaks volumes about the world we live in.

I actually live in a fairly poor, non-white country now with my partner who is a native of this place and his preteen son. I'm a white, educated (post-grad) woman and I know plenty of white men involved in (what I would consider exploitative) relationships with local women. I don't think I'm in an exploitative relationship despite being from a more privileged background, although maybe I am. It's always so hard to tell. But I don't want to make this about me, just kind of sharing who I am since I don't post much.

The thing is, we are not in a war zone, and people are poor but they aren't selling their daughters out of desperation (well, not any more than people do in my home country of Australia, or in the US where I lived several years). STILL, the foreign men are highly desired by the locals, and yet they will make high-context slurs against their very wives and girlfriends in front of other educated native English speakers including me. It's just my experience over many years here that men make these snide remarks about local partners. More than half a dozen times, I have nearly come to blows with a white man who called his wife an LBFM (it stands for little brown fucking machine, in case you didn't know) even within earshot of her or her family or their children.

It's all beyond upsetting. And this is part of life here. But to think of men behaving the same way when they are in counties under the guise of bringing aid? I cannot even.

Badonna · 07/05/2015 11:00

Countries. Not counties.

IPityThePontipines · 08/05/2015 16:05

I have followed almondcakes's advice and tweeted Plan International with a link and their response was:

"Hi, like all orgs we have codes of conduct for employees that explain what the boundaries are, and why these matter."

I asked if they had a link to this code and here it is: plan-international.org/files/global/policies/code_conduct.pdf

It's not that impressive. I feel really disappointed.

OP posts:
IPityThePontipines · 08/05/2015 16:08

I have told them that it's extremely vague, both on paying for sex and having sexual relationships with local people. I will let you know what they say.

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almondcakes · 08/05/2015 19:30

I cannot see anything in that document saying it is against their code of conduct.

IRC's response to the article is basically it is against policy, and people who can't deal with that are in the wrong job:

www.rescue.org/blog/sex-lives-aid-workers-why-its-not-humanitarian-agency’s-role-ensure-sexual-satisfaction

mercuryanddiamond · 09/05/2015 04:47

The difficulty with this situation is that if you stop the practice altogether the "girlfriends" will not be happy losing that income. If paid sex is too cheap it encourages aid workers to cheat on their wives while away - also not good. Might be better if the price was set higher than the aid workers could easily afford so 1) they only used it when they absolutely had to and 2) a "contribution" from each session was put towards (perhaps as much as they pay now - doubling the cost of sex to the individual) general projects for the good of the community. Of course it should be women who administer the extra amount - men would only screw it up one way or another ....

ApocalypseThen · 09/05/2015 07:45

So really, it's all fine if the sense in which vulnerable and desperate women in impossible situations are treated like tradable commodities only needs to be refined so that they're more of a weekend treat than a daily necessity? Great.

I was approached by an amnesty chugger a few days after reading this article. I think he felt that a simple "no" would have done but after their right to sex debate, obviously I couldn't let it go. I'm really tired of all these male dominated organizations treating women as holes for men who matter that much more.

BuffyNeverBreaks · 09/05/2015 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 09/05/2015 09:09

'It' = the brothel?

It IS really difficult/impossible to legislate or draw up other rules for this because of the power imbalance.

I am in no doubt that some of the 'girlfriends' are genuine girlfriends in loving relationships. I don't think that it is helpful to assume that ALL relationships between races are not mutually respectful and loving. BUT so many are not and the triple wammy of male privilege, position of power, race is hard to overcome.

That document is rally wishy-washy, isn't it? HmmSad

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 09/05/2015 10:08

But plan does that "because I'm a girl" campaign, i saw it in the train and was going to talk to my daughters about signing up.

But now if the "because im a girl" I have to sell sex, then it's no aid for you and we're going to fuck you instead?

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/05/2015 19:54

So, the girlfriends being exploited is fine, because they'd be sad if they lost the money.

Prostituted women in some of the poorest countries in the world are causing male aid workers to abuse them, and cheat on their wives (with possibly disastrous consequences) because they're too cheap.

The way to stop male aid workers from abusing women for money is to make it more expensive.

And that the women who are being abused for more money should donate half of that money to the rest of their community.

And that will sort out men taking advantage of women over whom they might well have the power of life and death?

That has to be one of the most surreal posts ever...

Stitchintime1 · 09/05/2015 19:59

Blimey. Once sex becomes a right, anyone can do anything. That article was terrible. The assumption that sex had to be laid on.

Stitchintime1 · 09/05/2015 20:03

I don't think making bought sex more expensive would work. Apparently, you can rack up the price of sex really high and men will still pay. The Freakonomics team did a really good study on prostitution.

ApocalypseThen · 10/05/2015 16:49

It's good though to think that women can do more for their community by being prostitutes. I mean, most of the farm labour and family labour is ok, but there's always more you can do.

PacificDogwood · 10/05/2015 18:01

Apocalypse, oh, christ on a bike, I almost posted something really scathing about your last post - big sarcasm fail on my part Blush

Yep, daft suggestion