Are women better than men at childcare?

[charlotteabigailharris]

I am currently a SAHM and have a 3yo DS and am 6 months pregnant.
I am doing an Economics degree with the open university and really could use your help for my dissertation....
I am researching whether it is accepted/not, that women are generally better than men at carrying out unpaid work - specifically childcare?
Let me know your thoughts,
Thank you.

morethan - no people who think looking after your own children as a job are having a laugh.. having a job is completely different to looking after your own kids.

Who said looking after your own children is a job, peggy? You said it isn't work of any kind, which implies that it involves doing nothing. Is that the case?

Having a job is not the only form of work.

Looking after young children is mentally and physically more draining than any office job.
I know, I've done both.

Looking after kids and running a house is work, the people who are paid to do it are called nannies and housekeepers.
People who are not paid to do that are called wives/mothers/women and very occasionally SAHD's.

Society expects women to be good at housework and childcare and they get dumped with it - just like, in the USA, black men are supposed to be sporty and not intellectual and "white men can't jump" and so shouldn't do sports much.

It is a societal construction, not based on biology, or individual abilities.

Saying looking after children is a privileged is disingenuous because it enables society to tell you it is an "honour" to do all this stuff and be economically and politically side-lined, whereas it's just getting you to do tons of very dull work for nothing, be economically dependent on someone else and retire with sod all pension.

Tbh I'm not really understanding why it isn't a job either? It certainly seems to be a job when people other than the parents provide childcare. It occupies your time for great chunks of the day, you have a role, goals and even some criteria/rules that need to be followed.

Or is it the fact that you don't have set working conditions/pay/sick leave/holidays etc etc. In which case no you are right. It is in fact much harder work than a 'job'.

miggsie

Looking after young children is mentally and physically more draining than any office job.
I know, I've done both.

I do both and work is way harder than looking after kids. kids is erm... kids stuff. there are no boundaries with kids - if you want to sit in your PJs all day and watch peppa pig that's fine - hardly taxing or difficult - try doing that in your day job and see how quick you get handed your arse on a plate.

Looking after kids and running a house is work, the people who are paid to do it are called nannies and housekeepers

if your rich they may be called that but most people don't have nannies or housekeepers - they do it themselves, even the people who don't have kids look after their own houses, they don't pay people.

So you don't change your baby's nappies, or get your children any food peggy? You don't clean them, or change their clothes or tidy up after them? You don't do any work at all when looking after your children? They must be severely undernourished, filthy and bored.

Yops wrote - "Who was the last woman to fall into an iron-ore smelter or die in a mine collapse?"

For example, in 2009, in Ghana, 14 of the 18 miners killed in a mine collapse were women.

While I was doing Google searches about women who are miners, I was shocked by the numerous news reports about female miners who were raped and/or murdered by male miners in the past few years, while working underground at the rock face in the mines of South Africa.

peggy

If you think parenting is about sitting in your pyjamas is parenting, then good job you go to work
Some of us have treated raising our children as a job and have done better than many supposedly professional childcarers.
It can be jolly hard work and sometimes can be easy, just like any job.

whether raising your children is a job or not depends on your opinion, simple as that.

morethanpotatoprints

If you think parenting is about sitting in your pyjamas is parenting, then good job you go to work shock - I didn't say that's what I think that's what parenting is about - I said if that's what you want to do then you can.

But you can't do that surely peggy? While you're sitting in your pjs all day who's feeding the children, taking them to school, taking them to the doctor, washing their clothes etc?

My wife is a SAHM.
This week she has prepared all the packed lunches, uniforms, got them to and from school, cooked all evening meals, vacuumed, done the weekly shopping and laundry.
That is work.
But she has also been shopping for a new tent, made some mead, read book two of Outlander, planted some seeds, taken the dog on walks, pottered about, put her dressing gown on when it was cold, felt tired and not done much one day.
That is not work.
Some people are happy with that (she is), others would feel frustrated or stuck or like they needed to go get a paid job.
I have also been a SAHD, only for a year, and done all those things and if money wasn't an issue I know which one I'd choose!

MrNosey how do you figure that buying a new tent, planting seeds and taking the dog on walks isn't work? Who's going to do those things if your DW doesn't do it? Surely the tent needs to be bought and the dog needs to be walked. Ok you could do without the seeds I suppose but everyone will benefit from that effort and it is effort, even if she enjoys it.

Those things are leisure activities.
I would love to spend an hour walking through the woods with my dog - it isn't a chore.
Tent buying is fun!
Planting seeds is a hobby, we're not farmers.
If we both worked we just wouldn't do those things, or do them on a weekend/evening.

What I find odd actually is an attitude I've come across multiple times among men that, when women are looking after children, it's easy, they're doing nothing, it involves no effort. But when they are looking after children it's such hard work and they can't be expected to do it after working all day etc etc. Where does that come from? Either it's hard or it's not - nothing about having a vagina makes looking after children automatically easier.

Fair enough. I don't consider buying a tent to be a leisure activity but if your DW considers it to be so then who am I to argue!

"when they are looking after children it's such hard work and they can't be expected to do it after working all day etc".

They are lazy, entitled, sexists in that case.
It is often hard, but often not. Harder when they are pre-school and in school hols.
I know SAHMs and SAHDs who absolutely love it and get much more leisure time than full time workers.

I agree that SAHPs with school-age children can and often do have a lovely set-up where they can cover all the work they need to do and have free time. However IME it's pretty rare for people to continue to be at home fulltime when all children at are at school. Also, for the working partner there is a lot to be said for the fact that they can have children and be sure those children are looked after really well without having to worry about covering illness, or taking the children to the doctor etc. There is a luxury in being a SAHP to school-age children but there is also a luxury in being able to devote yourself to a career and have your children very well cared for without having to do both those things yourself.

"Also, for the working partner there is a lot to be said for the fact that they can have children and be sure those children are looked after really well without having to worry about covering illness, or taking the children to the doctor etc.* There is a luxury in being a SAHP to school-age children but there is also a luxury in being able to devote yourself to a career and have your children very well cared for without having to do both those things yourself."

Exactly. It can be a very convenient set up for (usually) the mum to SAH and the man to work.
I know a few couples who are the opposite because the woman was the higher earner so it makes simple sense, hopefully more common in future with no stigma for either the mum or the dad (yeah, right!).

I've been a sort-of SAHM for the last four years (working very part time). I'm about to go back to work on proper part time hours. I can't wait!

cailin

I am a sahp still for want of a better term.
We have one who has left home now, another of 20 who is still here, and one who is 11 and off to board from september.
I must be the exception to the rule as have no plan to work for an employer and have been a sahm for about 23 years now

I think there are so many variables on how people live their lives, you can't say whether raising children is work, a job etc it depends on how the person sees it themselves and what they choose to do with their time.
For e.g they may volunteer, help neighbours, etc which is working.

Some people see being a sahm as childcare and housework, that is fine if that is how they wish to view it. Others may do much more than this, some may spend time relaxing or pursuing hobbies. It's up to them and their choice.