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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Why is menstruation so dirty?

220 replies

IceBeing · 18/03/2015 22:01

I got so much interesting information from my last thread I thought I would try again!

I mean I know the answer is 'the patriarchy' but....

why do I feel so repelled by all things menstrual? I am pretty sure I'm not alone...but while I would have no issue whatsoever with someone seeing a blood stain on my arm (from a cut or something) I would actually die from shame if anyone saw my menstrual blood.

How do I stop my DD from being infected with the idea that menstruation is dirty?

How do I cure myself?

I have managed to cure myself of the idea that armpit hair is dirty...and leg hair...but this seems an order of magnitude harder!

OP posts:
DadWasHere · 21/03/2015 08:24

It's quite common to get menstrual blood in the mouth during cunnilingus I expect.

Its never worried me though I know some men are put off.

mariamin · 21/03/2015 09:50

Plenty of lesbians don't find the idea of oral sex with a menstruating woman disgusting. Just as lots of men don't. It is just blood.

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 09:57

just, it seems unremarkable to me that you might not like the idea of something that isn't part of your sexual make-up to like (if that makes sense?).

No you've lost me- unless you mean straight women don't have oral sex performed on them? (And do you mean remarkable rather than unremarkable?)

My periods were heavy and bloody ,the thought of any one going down on me whilst I was expelling gushes of bloody clotted lumps is revolting,

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:01

No, I mean unremarkable.

I don't get why you think it's surprising you'd not like the idea.

So what? Why would you? It's socially taboo, and it's not something your sexuality is giving you any prompt to get over, because you're not terribly sexually excited by, erm, vaginas.

Am I being too simple here? Confused

mariamin · 21/03/2015 10:09

I can't imagine most people who have oral sex on a menstruating woman, do so when she has big blood clots coming out. Why jump to the most extreme example? Even those of us who do get big blood clots, usually have days where the blood is just gently flowing.
And I am sure lesbians will find the idea of a man's semen in their mouth absolutely disgusting. But many women do routinely do this.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:11

I think she means, that's what she thinks about and so it puts her off?

Which is natural - if you are a straight woman, I doubt you spend a lot of time thinking about other women's genitals and how appealing they are.

I am fairly sure plenty of straight women find the idea of semen in their mouths pretty disgusting. It's just we're conditioned to find it acceptably icky, rather than taboo.

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 10:13

In which case why were you asking what my sexual orientation was? Not clear what point you are trying to make. Others have said they found the thought awful others, including Dadwashere who isn't a lesbian has said he didn't.

Do you want to quiz every one else? Actually my first thought was it's none of your business.

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 10:18

No Jeanne "she" wasn't thinking about other people's vaginas she was thinking purely of it being done to her, not doing it to any one.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:19
Confused

I'm sorry, I am utterly confused about why you find this so complicated.

It wasn't at all intended to be an intrusive question. We are, you know, on a thread about sex. It is not remarkable that we are talking about sexual orientation, and you've shared your views quite graphically so I didn't think you were a shrinking violet.

The reason I asked if you were a lesbian was, I was a bit confused why you seemed to think it was revelatory you weren't that attracted to vaginas. If you were a lesbian or a straight man (which I think covers dadwas), I might have found that noteworthy. Since you're not, it's, erm ... not that surprising really.

Yes?

Or are there millions of straight women out there who are unattracted to women but spend loads of time fantasizing about vaginas just for the sake of it? If there are, I'm really in the wrong business.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:21

No Jeanne "she" wasn't thinking about other people's vaginas she was thinking purely of it being done to her, not doing it to any one.

Yes. I know. That is exactly what I just said.

I am mind-boggled here.

Has someone come round and redefined sexual orientation while I've been out?

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 10:24

The reason I asked if you were a lesbian was, I was a bit confused why you seemed to think it was revelatory you weren't that attracted to vaginas

Yes I expect that is very confusing given that I didn't remotely say anything of the kind. You chose to interpret what I said to mean that

ChopperGordino · 21/03/2015 10:25

Jeanne I think straight women might be more likely to think about someone performing oral sex on them when we talk about cunnilingus. I don't find the thought of someone doing it to me when on my period disgusting at all, but it doesn't really appeal because I would usually be too tender and uncomfortable for it to be enjoyable. It's not the concept or the menstrual fluids that put me off, but how I physically feel when I have my period

ChopperGordino · 21/03/2015 10:26

I don't know why that says "jeanne" at the start!

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:27

I'm mega confused.

Sorry, I don't know quite what's going on any more, but I'm sorry if I've upset you or misinterpreted you.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:31

chopper - YY, I think it's absolutely normal straight women would think about their own experiences.

It's natural, isn't it? You relate to your own experience.

What is odd, is thinking that has much bearing on it for everyone else (I think).

I mean, I could go around posting on every debate about male homosexuality* 'well I tried bumsex once, and it was horrible! And here are the graphic details!'

But it would be kinda odd and wouldn't really add much to the wider debate.

*Yes, I know gay men don't only have anal sex. It's just an example.

paxtecum · 21/03/2015 10:36

I cannot imagine looking at someone's blood smeared face who has just performed oral sex on a menstruating me.

Though I'm 60 plus so not really going to be likely.

But that doesn't mean I find menstruation dirty. My DCs knew about menstruation from when they could crawl - they always used to follow me to the loo and watch whatever was going on.

I am aware that menstual blood can be a bit of a fetish for some people.
They are blood stained knickers for sale on the internet.
Though absolutely anything can be a fetish so I suppose it's not surprising really.

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 10:40

Jeanne that makes no sense.

Oral vaginal sex is performed on and by women. The debate was about menstruation. Some women don't mind having sex whether penetrative or oral when menstruating others do. But according to you apparently that is irrelevant.

Did I at any point say "this is revelatory"? Why don't you go back through the thread and make the same (snide) comment about anyone and every one else who expressed a personal opinion?

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:40

I agree.

Finding it sexually appealing is separate from finding it disgusting.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:42

Oh, sorry, cross post, I agree with pax.

stil - didn't mean to be snide. Just utterly bemused. And yes, I did get the impression you thought it was revelatory. I didn't follow why, is all.

I still don't.

But I may just be reacting a bit badly to the level of TMI.

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 10:43

Look Jeanne someone else has posted a personal opinion. Feel free to tell pax it's not revelatory and adds nothing.

I agree entirely with her re blood smeared faces .

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:48

It's not the personal opinion I think is strange. I have personal opinions (amongst them the observation that if your face is getting smeared, I think you're doing it wrong).

It's the graphic oversharing of anecdata with a sort of glee in telling us all how revolting you find it all, as if we should all rush to agree.

But some of us don't, cos some of us have different personal preferences, and because lots of us are thinking 'hmm, I wonder if this is social conditioning in me to find it taboo' rather than 'eurgh, fannies'.

StillLostAtTheStation · 21/03/2015 10:49

Jeanne there was nothing in my original post that supports your interpretation. I am utterly bemused how you could read it that way. I don't follow why you could read it in that way, nor why you continue to insist that was what I meant. Is it too difficult to accept you put your own spin on it?

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/03/2015 10:50

No, not at all too difficult - in fact I've said quite a bit that I am bemused and readily accept I'm missing something!

ChopperGordino · 21/03/2015 10:56

Thinking about it, I would be far more bothered about having sex with someone who was having a nosebleed than I am at the idea of oral sex when menstrual blood is present

ChopperGordino · 21/03/2015 10:58

I'm not really sure what that adds, but I do think that menstrual blood is different in that its presence is natural in the genital area at periods in a woman's cycle