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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

hypocrital men.. one rule for them..

44 replies

CarlieMummyBear · 13/03/2015 23:16

how many times have men not liked summat weve said/done but then carried it out themselves:

my top 3 have to be:
*u cant stay out all night when u go to town u got kids.. yet they roll in at 4/5am
*u talk to other men it does my head in.. its not u I dont trust its them.. they can talk to females tho cos they known them like foevever!
its not the same, its totally different!! (eg ordering loads and paying but when they have to pay ur takin piss haha)

come on girls whats ur top 3??

oh another classic.. kids wake in night.. u go ur her mum!! (says dad) what the actual fuck!! x

OP posts:
StillLostAtTheStation · 13/03/2015 23:25

I've never been told any of those things by a man.
If my husband had said anything so idiotic I doubt he'd still be my husband, it would never have occurred to him and I was the one more likely to be rolling in in the small hours.

StillLostAtTheStation · 13/03/2015 23:26

And I'm not a girl either.

GraysAnalogy · 13/03/2015 23:28

That's not things a man says that things a gobshite says.

CuttedUpPear · 13/03/2015 23:28

I'm not a girl and your problem is not a feminist one.

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 13/03/2015 23:31

I'm sorry your partner says these things to you. Does he have any good points?

You may find Relationships a better place to discuss this.

Wadingthroughsoup · 13/03/2015 23:31

I don't identify with any of that either. I wouldn't be with someone like that.

Why do you think all men are the same? Confused

Original poster
CarlieMummyBear · 13/03/2015 23:40

wow sorry didnt mean to cause any offence., ill admit my partner far from perfect he does have some good qualitites.. he just says some bonehead things sometimes x

OP posts:
StillLostAtTheStation · 13/03/2015 23:45

To be honest I wasn't sure if your post was genuine. If it is, your problem is your choice of man, not men in general and these are issues you need to address with him.

GraysAnalogy · 13/03/2015 23:46

carlie it's okay but I just think you've got misinterpretations (sorry if that sounds patronising)

What your partner is saying to you isn't normal behaviour! He's being an idiot.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 13/03/2015 23:53

Carlie, no offence meant but if you were expecting a load of 'oh what are men like' commiserating posts you won't get that here. You will get sharp commentary on the unequal power dynamics within your relationship. Hopefully that will be helpful to you in starting to think critically about your 'bonehead' man.

Original poster
CarlieMummyBear · 13/03/2015 23:56

thats fair enough.. sorry I thought feminist posts meant u could have a rant about men in general lol, oops., these are just things in passing that hes said half heartedly that have bugged me.. just wantin to talk to people really not intending to insult anyone x

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 13/03/2015 23:58

Don't worry about it carlie. Is there anything good about him or does he come out with shite like this all the time?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/03/2015 00:02

You haven't insulted anyone! However mumsnet as a whole is not tolerant of dick head men children and you just won't find a whole load of women to have that kind of moan with here, because we will point out that that sounds absolutely awful and he is behaving like a Neanderthal idiot.
Relationships board might be good for a moan, but you will still find people asking you what you intend to do about your unequal relationship balance.

Original poster
CarlieMummyBear · 14/03/2015 00:04

wow.. I have made numerous posts in the hour since i joined and this is the only one anyones replied in.. hes not an arse.. but I do have a lot of issues with him cos of this.. never mind.. if anyone could reply on any of my other posts id b grateful lol x

OP posts:
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 14/03/2015 00:17

You may find Reality's Post of Awesomeness helpful, OP

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody

Original poster
CarlieMummyBear · 14/03/2015 00:36

a bit ott tbh over a few comments made half heartedly., hes not abusive and ur all makin out like hes the worst guy on earth for makin a few thoughtless comments .. like hes the only guy to ever do it geez.. came on here for advice and support not to have my other half blasted :/

OP posts:
StillLostAtTheStation · 14/03/2015 00:45

Carlie your post didn't read as if you were asking for advice. It came across as sort of "men, what are they like ? can't live with 'em can't live without 'em" jokey.

I think posters on this part of the site either have chosen partners who don't behave like that, or, if they do and were looking for advice, would not post in such a jokey way.

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 14/03/2015 00:50

He doesn't like you going out, doesn't like you talking to other men, complains when you spend money on food even though he spends more and doesn't pull his weight with the kids.

That's how your posts could be rewritten. Those are relationship issues.

HelenaDove · 14/03/2015 00:58

Glad ive found this thread. Men saying how they are different than women biologically as well as see things differently........until the men join a slimming class.......then they lose weight really quickly (men lose weight while dieting quicker than women due to having higher levels of testosterone) and then these men are happy to think of themselves as the same as women when it comes to competing over weight loss.

Hypocrital IMO.

HelenaDove · 14/03/2015 01:05

OP i have an ex like the man you have described. He also didnt like me talking with other men (its them i dont trust Helena not you.) Hmm and he was a real tightwad Used to moan about his water bill when i rinsed fruit under the tap before eating it. Questioned why i wanted a shower etc.

Didnt need this shit so i ended it.

CuttedUpPear · 14/03/2015 06:14

carlie it sounds like your issue is a relationship one. I think if you post on the Relationship boards you'll get answers soon enough.

Feminism is more about equality, not men-bashing. If we go around doing that we are as bad as those we criticise.

nikkinack · 14/03/2015 12:07

sorry I thought feminist posts meant u could have a rant about men in general This is a common misunderstanding about feminism. We don't hate men, we just hold them up to higher standards than others seem to. We believe they can and should behave better. It's people who seem to expect men to behave like that, and just have a rant about them every now and then, who are the ones who seem to think very little of them.

Wadingthroughsoup · 14/03/2015 12:44

You refer to 'a few thoughtless comments', but it's more than that, because those comments reflect his attitude towards you- which doesn't seem to be a very supportive one.

Feminism is not about tarring men with same brush and saying they're useless. Have a look around the feminist board- there are some very interesting ideas and discussions where you can learn more about feminism.

I hope you can find a way to improve things in your relationship, if that's what you want.

messyisthenewtidy · 14/03/2015 18:26

This thread is fascinating! The OP reminds me of that Boots ad the one where the women are complaining about their menfolk with "man flu" whilst they're out buying medicine even though they've got colds themselves.

I imagine the advertising execs were hoping to bond in the same way, mistaking feminism for a "aren't men so useless but we love'm anyway" feeling.

But feminists don't bash men. They bash the system that encourages men to benefit from double standards and women to accept them..

And after all that am I allowed to say LTBWink?

BeakyMinder · 15/03/2015 05:20

Jesus some of these posts are stunningly patronising. No wonder more people don't post here.

Swipe left for the next trending thread