Metaphor for consent- cup of tea

[FarelyKnuts]

Just read this, thought it worth sharing

www.theloop.ca/this-woman-just-explained-consent-with-the-most-perfect-metaphor/

Nicely put, Still.

Even more succinct:

Fuck off, you annoying bloody troll.

I liked the tea analogy itself, for the same reasons as Pacific. I'm not keen on the length of it, and the way it is all worded, but perhaps that is also part of what makes it work.

I'm not sure about the bit that says 'if they say yes they want tea, but they don't drink it'...what is that about? Maybe misread signals or something like that. Or just that people can change their minds. Or warm up their own tea in the microwave if they want, when they want to. Without telling the person who made the tea. Oh yeah, there's a lot more we can get out of this!

"2. Why on earth would anybody worry about having too many cups of tea made by too many men? Just doesn't happen."

As I said I'm using OP's metaphor for drinking a cup of tea made by a man = sex with that man

Yes.
And your point is?

Marmalade?

Another question.

From a feminist perspective and still using tea as a metaphor for sex, if a wife nags her husband to make tea for her and he doesn't want to make tea for her and doesn't make enough tea for her over the years, is it right for her to successfully sue him?

This actually happened in France in recent years:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8741895/Frenchman-ordered-to-pay-wife-damages-for-lack-of-sex.html

I guess in France married men don't have a legal right to say no.

The law can be an ass; we are agreed on that.

wuzzio

#2 Tea was drugged?

Just imagine a man taking his wife to court to complain she wasn't having enough sex with him. He would either be laughed out of court or even face charges himself for harrassing his wife for sex or for wasting police time.

Yes, wuzzio, we get what you're saying.

We just disagree.

I've had a few friends (male and female) who have had drunken sex that in hindsight, perhaps they wish they hadn't. None of them have called it rape. The most common reaction IME is 'Oh God, what was I thinking? Best to forget that happened.'

Nono, MrsKCastle, I think wuzzio is agreeing that tea is an excellent metaphor for sex

PeaceOfWildThings

The tea was not drugged or tainted (if it was, I would have certainly mentioned so).

The woman regretted drinking it only because she was worried about what her peers might think seeing as she lets different men make cups of tea for her so often. Perhaps she could save her reputation by claiming she didn't really want to drink the last cup? That would ruin the life of the innocent man who made her the cup of tea and was happy she enjoyed it, but her reputation is more important. Right?

And the women in my scenarios are all sober.

You want to bring slut shaming to a femist board now?

^feminist board.

And now I must go eat. It's been a real hoot chatting with y'all

Reputation has nothing to do with it. And your 'case' has nothing to do with consent.

If both people happily consented to drink tea, it was not rape. End of.

"You want to bring slut shaming to a femist board now?"

I don't "shame" women who sleep around a lot. I really don't care how many men a woman wants to have sex with.

IMO I think you have your own gender to blame for "slut shaming"

wuzzio... unlike you, we're all pretty intelligent. It's already been explained to you that your stupid scenario doesn't happen or at least, if it does, the instance is vanishingly small, and those women tend to get given harsher sentences than the man would if he'd actually raped her, not that you give a shit, because all you're interested in is continuing rape culture, because.... well, draw your own conclusions . Do try to keep up, people have been using small words and everything for you.

I was in my youth occasionally an over-enthusiastic drinker of tea served by tea-makers who in the cold light of day were considerably less attractive than in the soft haze of the tea house candles.

In the cold light of day the last thing I did would have been to draw attention to it from critical friends (theoretical friends as my real friends were not so petty and judgemental) by claiming I'd been forced to drink tea.

Tea-drinkers, even novice tea drinkers, can tell the difference between an unfortunate error of judgement and being force fed tea.

That's my brew by the way, wuzzio. You can FO and make your own.

"Wrt what you are implying (women shout rape and ruin innocent men lives) "

So do you agree if woman in scenario #2 cried rape it would be a false accusation of rape?

IMO I think you have your own gender to blame for "slut shaming"

You are wrong. Oh, and you mean "your own sex", not "your own gender".