i think Im done with Mumsnet

[Spacemen3]

this is my last hope!

I know there has been a lot of threads moaning about 'how its not like the good old days'....but its REALLY changed. It really has.

Chat is infested with sexism and racism, and it goes unchallenged. nothing massive and really overtly offensive. But just the vibe/culture...lots of low level stuff

IT was not like this even 1 year ago

do you think? or is it just me?

That thread absolutely destroyed me. I cannot believe people are so cruel.

"Can't we have some sort of FWR klaxon to alert the rational posters from FWR to other threads. "

Yeah,right. And then the accusations that there are calls to post in a particular way will actually be true.
(Really hoping that was a tongue in cheek suggestion that I missed the point of. Not a return to the bad old days).

.....

Right now I am troubled most by the Islamophobia (and general attack on religion, any religion) by those who don't seem to see the irony that they're being just as intolerant as they lay down why 'my way's the best and only'.

And calls for CE threads to be taken off the main boards are pissing me off as well.

Oh goodness yes, the racism and islamophobia, the ukip support, the total ignorance of people denouncing all religion. These posters are almost on a part with extremists. I've been here nearly a decade and is never been this intolerant. Ever. It makes me really anxious and scared in rl and actually sometimes to scared to post when people sharing my viewpoint are flamed and forced off threads.

Aibu has permeated the other boards and some posters are just too intimidating to challenge.

Edith there are negative posts about Christians on threads all the time and they go unchallenged.

I just think people see Christians as 'fair game'.

On the other hand, I see Islamophobia challenged a lot more.

Yes it has changed. I was flamed yesterday for posting about the muslim guy who saved the jewish people by hiding then in the freezer.

Last year i was attacked on a thread when i posted tgat muslim neighbours had sent food in ramadan. And then the CE threads. It's not great the moment.

That was my post your referred to Edith and it was clearly, I thought, tongue in cheek as I followed with the thought of having a badge and ending in a at the end. As if I'm going to go from one thread to start another in FWR in order to rally help

This is exactly what I meant earlier, and what a pp alluded to further up the thread, where you have to be so careful what you say or its jumped on. It's been pissing me right off lately and I'm so close to sodding off MN. I'm actually really upset.

The rape apology on far too many threads at the moment is truly disheartening. The stuff being said to that poor woman in Relationships is nothing short of abusive.

Props to MoreThan, I was so shocked to see what you posted on the rape apology threads after you were so kind to me about my DS elsewhere. Really glad you 'saw the light'.

I thought the grin was for the sentence with the badge.

Remembering the history of rallying cries, and how it was a bit of a sore spot, I didn't really think it was a jokey subject overall.

I too feel jumped on frequently for not expressing myself eloquently enough. And regularly feel unwelcome in FWR, because I am not part of the clique (despite being slated for 'overly' feminist views elsewhere).

I apologise for the disruption to this thread and all bad feeling my unacceptable interpretation has caused.

In fairness, I don't think members can be expected to know about every bizarre event on MN and it doesn't seem to have gone down in MN folk lore so I haven't picked up on it. If it's a sore subject for you, then I can see why you reacted. I've been feeling a bit battered with MN at the moment so I probably got defensive at your posts as I had only just mentioned about being singled out for wording upthread.

I'm unsure if that was an apology to me but for what it's worth, I don't think you have disrupted the thread or caused bad feeling.

I've felt there is a need to preface that you are a lurker in FWR and to almost apologise in advance for not having a polished way of presenting your views but once you do, I've found the usual posters are quite open and welcoming. I just think posters in this section are so used to dealing with goady fuckers it's easy for them to forget that its hard for lurkers / newbies put yourself out there to dip your toe in and get used to expressing yourself. But I do appreciate FWR and the posters and I have learnt so much. I'm sorry your experiences haven't been the same Edith.

Now, what's all this about a feminist pub? Fancy a Edith?? Genuine

I think as long as I've been here (5-6 years) there are always threads saying things have changed for the worse. I never agreed with them in the past, just thought people were being too nostalgic. But now it does seem a bit different. There is so much racism, Islamophobia, sexism -- and overall, just a fuckload of ignorance. It's baffling.

And the worst bit is that you can't discuss it with people any more. I am not easily intimidated and I will happily engage with people and try to explain why something is in fact racist or sexist or whatever, but now people just dismiss you as 'professionally offended'.

Just this week I pointed out that a thread was turning racist and got accused of playing the R card to try to shut everyone up. I mean, what's the point?

For the first time I'm actually thinking about leaving MN too, it's just getting really depressing. We'll see. I wish MN would take a stronger stance on some of these threads.

baking I started a thread applauding that guy and get very little input

I wad on another thread where people were bemoaning that Muslims didnt do enough to combat terrorism/didnt make a stand against I. I posted loads of links to Muslim Peace Conference/anti jihadist Muslim groups/protests etc etc....No one commented on any of the links I provided. I was genuinely

But yes also anti-Christian feeling is very strong. its so SNEERY and superior. I cant stand it

Space - there have been similar links on other threads. They were either ignored or belittled. One poster who asked for proof that muslims had apologised then said they wanted more than apologies from muslims, they wanted action and the abolition of all religion. I mean really?

What I like about MN is that there are things in the past that I haven't agreed with but I'm not sure why. So (and I have posted quite heavily on the rape thread, that poor woman) once upon a time I would have thought that no a woman never deserved to get raped, but she could help herself if she wore trousers/didn't drink/didn't "lead" someone on.

I now have a far more clear vision of sexual assault and rape, and what victim blaming is. It was so ingrained in me though that women were essentially men's keepers in regard to sex, that I didn't see I was holding those views.

Does that make any sense at all?

And yet I have always been very strong, independent etc etc and have always had clear views on why racism is wrong, and blatant sexism - in the workplace for example - and yet in matters of sexual assault not so much.

That is why I go on those threads when I can, because I hope others will read the responses and realise, as I have, that a woman cannot be held responsible for a man's actions.

Yy baking I informed a poster about an Imam that used to be a fundamentalist; he is reformed and he works at bringing younger Muslims back from extremism. The poster said he should be doing it publicly

Because getting a terrorist into the public eye (what, daytime tv maybe?) for a spot of demonstrative reformation, is just the ticket. Flipping numpty

I suppose it just reflects the world - people are scared, people are intolerant and I think that the CE case has genuinely challenged a lot of the magical thinkers out there. I typed out a massive post on the current thread in relationships about that, about how hard it is to really live when your eyes are opened to rape culture, but it wouldn't have been helpful to the op so I didn't post.

I find this section fascinating so I don't think I could ever "leave" FWR, as it were. The rest of MN sometimes pulls me in but mostly it is just too vast and I am too busy to read it all. I would like to get involved in some of the other parts of MN but there are often just too many posters and it all moves so quickly that if you are busy, like I am, you just lose what's happening, really.

The CE threads have been depressing but not at all surprising. A lot of the women I work with have revealed themselves to be rape apologists on the CE issue which I find equally depressing and very hard to argue against as they seem to be very defensive about it and don't like their view challenged at all. It depresses me because it makes me realize how ordinary women are ingrained with the idea that men do have rights to women's bodies and that women are the gatekeepers of sex. It's so good to come here and read people arguing the alternative to that so eloquently.