Thread for overthinking

[Artifexmumdi]

I thought that it might be a good idea to have a thread specifically for overthinking. That way those who don't like overthinking have fair warning to avoid it.

I am wondering why womenswear designers seem to hate women with hips and why I always end up on the verge of tears when these clothes don't fit me. I tried on a skirt yesterday because I am desperately in need of skirts and it did not fit. I already felt ashamed because it was a size L (ridiculous, I know) and when it didn't fit, I did my best to blame the clothes not my body as I had DD1 with me, but I still felt awful.

It feels like you have 2 choices as someone who has birthed children fashion wise. You are either a yummy mummy or frumpy both of which are despised. Another case of a woman's place is in the wrong?

Any more overthinkers?

Ha no I am saying women are not middle aged and therefore undesirable, and that middle aged women are not irrelevant/pointless if they can't procreate.

Almost as though women past 45 are just as relevant and as important members of society as any other group...

...And perhaps that women over 45 are still valuable if they don't attract male attention, and even that - gasp shock horror - male sexual attention is not the definition of value.

That's exactly what I m saying hence that I said women being visible in academic and career terms.

Am I really not getting my point across?

I think Lightning was just adding on to what you already said.

We are allowed to overthink on this thread, though.

OhBuggering, your family conversations sound remarkably similar to mine.

I have so far been called strident, obsessed, humourless and boring. Most of those were in response to me pointing out that toys themselves are not gendered, just our perceptions.

I'm now with the other side of my family (split marriages galore), and I had thought it would be better, but it's not. I'm still the butt of most jokes, even to my younger sister.

So how do I stop overthinking? How do I let all their sexist shit wash over me? Because pulling them up on it is making life miserable for me

Don't Milch, I have my DSIL today who is lovely but thinks feminism is people "just making a fuss" and "there are more important things to worry about".

Last time we met we had a lovely chat about why she thought it wasn't necessary for a mother's profession to be on a birth certificate but it is a father's.

Followed by her explaining to me groping is okay in the workplace as long as you all know it's a bit of fun.

I deal with it by silently screaming trying to gently challenge her, so I said "so do you think that either both parents or the professions of neither parents should be on the birth cert? Because otherwise it looks as though a man's job is more important that a woman's" grimace smile.

By the time we got to the groping I was a little more blunt "You realise you have been sexually assaulted don't you?"

With my Dfather I am making some headway - I got him to Google White Male Privilege last week!!

If they are trying to wind you up, you could just try a "we all think everyone in the world is equal regardless of colour or sex don't we? Good, then we agree". Its difficult in those terms to admit to being a racist sexist fool.

Maybe I should try gently challenging instead of getting frustrated and trying to explain incoherently why the patriarchy is fucking with us. I'd probably get a better response.

The thread on here a while back about feeling overwhelmed by seeing misogyny everywhere and not being able to stop being angry really resonated with me. I am struggling to cope with having had my eyes opened and cannot believe my beloved fucked-up family are so sexist.

I overthink everything, I talk about it a lot and then I get laughed at and insulted. I clearly need to find a more appropriate man-pleasing method of getting my point across.

Forgot to say: definitely going to try that last phrase you suggested next time I stick my head above the parapet.

I am struggling to cope with having had my eyes opened and cannot believe my beloved fucked-up family are so sexist - I know how you feel MilchMama, i've been the butt of a good few 'jokes' at family do's this Christmas. It's almost goady; someone will make a sexist remark and all eyes will turn to me, so they can roll their eyes and laugh at the 'nonsense' i'm about to come out with.

It's almost goady; someone will make a sexist remark and all eyes will turn to me, so they can roll their eyes and laugh at the 'nonsense' i'm about to come out with.

Agreed. My mother has form for this. At the moment though, she's trying to make everyone see that that saying next weekend means something other than it does, so that it doesn't look like she accepted a better offer than coming to ours for lunch.

Yes! They're all goady fuckers! They are my real-life trolls.

That's really sad.

On a positive note, I managed to have a nice, calm chat with my sister about why she didn't feel she could ask for a payrise although her male colleagues all frequently do. I think it was quite enlightening for her.

Currently overthinking about a 12-hour marathon journey we're making tomorrow to get home. Not one member of my family thought I should do any of the driving, because woman driver.

I'm overthinking the writing on the back of the Surf bottle at the moment so I clearly need to open my Christmas prosecco and realise that there are more important things to worry about

I'm overthinking a Land's End catalogue - they do fabulous boys graphic t-shirts, with pictures of rockets and all kinds of animals, but girls t-shirts are all nice and sparkly. Do girls not like t-shirts with glow-in-the-dark t-rex? And what's the physical difference between young girls and boys t-shirts anyway? Why not sell them to both? Surely then you double your market size?

Girls and women like glow in the dark T-rexes. I want a shirt like that! I also want pajamas with glow in the dark correctly labeled skeletal anatomy like DD2 has.

On clothes, my daughter (nearly 12) is heavily into minecraft. The sad child . She wanted a minecraft t-shirt for Christmas. I have got her one from eBay but it was in the 'boys' category. Same as the minecraft clothes they sell in primark, and in asda. Apparently only boys like Lego based computer games. Who knew?