Casual sexist remarks at school/college that stayed with you?

[JeanneDeMontbaston]

I was just wondering about the impact of casual sexism. I don't mean sustained, serious, shocking things - I mean the off-the-cuff remarks that didn't seem important at the time, but that really stayed with you.

I remember really clearly, overhearing my teacher saying to another teacher: 'A lot of them are really ladylike, and then there's [myname]!'

It is a little bit funny, I know - and I know exactly what they meant - but I was thinking about the way I remember this once chance comment twenty years on. I thought of it because one of my mates just mentioned her lecturer (female) turned to her calmly and say 'Jenny, do you ever stop to let the boys get a word in edgewise?!' Not, 'the other students' but 'the boys'.

What about you?

I'll read the thread in a minute. But wanted to add my little gem.

Girls' school Sixth form. I told my English teacher that I had decided against Oxbridge entrance as I knew I wanted to be a primary teacher and wanted to do a B.Ed. He said, and I remember precisely, 'Well, it's not a bad career choice...for a girl,' and left the room.

I met his daughter the next year. She was in the year above me at teacher training college. She thought her dad was an idiot.

Not a remark but asking in Primary school (late 80's) to be allowed to train with the football team. Male friends asked if I could play on the team as they felt I was good enough and the teacher laughing out loud

Senigallia " Although I suppose technically he was correct in an evolutionary sense,"

I'm not letting that one past. He was wrong. There is a lot of debate (or was at any rate) about why women survive past childbearing age at all, if there was no evolutionary purpose we wouldn't. Turns out grandmothers generally improve the survival rate of youngsters. Wisdom of the elders and all that.

I think that would have been becoming known by early 00s so he was just a git, in case you didn't realise . Took women going into science to take women and children's evolutionary history and biological importance seriously of course.

My maths teacher walked into my A Level maths class and his first comment was, "why are so many girls in this class? What do you need maths for?" Utter fucking shit for brains. I ended up telling him he pissed me off and being asked to leave his class. Still passed maths and restrained myself from keying his car. Just.

I suppose someone will educate me on this but what is sexist about asking if the poster went to ballet lessons because of the way she walked?

I don't recall teachers at a mixed rural comprehensive in the 70s behaving in the ways you are reporting.

If there was cause for complaint it was the way most teachers concentrated on the bright boys and girls. This was admirable in a way as there were many children who were the first in their families to go to university. It became very noticeable in 3rd and 4th year when those who would stay on after 16 were being identified.

Typing wasn't for girls - it was for those who weren't bright enough to do something else. Modern studies was the same , the less bright children of both sexes did it, the clever ones did history and geography.

Both sexes did one period of Home Economics in First Year , the academic children dropped it.

Was fine by me as I was one of the clever lot.

Oh and no-one was put off doing Maths or Sciences just because they were a girl. If anything because their Maths pass rate at Higher Level wasn't brilliant they possibly pushed more than they should , boys and girls.

Everyone who got a good Ordinary Grade pass was encouraged to do Higher Maths, Including me despite the fact it became obvious that Ordinary Grade really was my limit. They persevered with extra one to one tuition from my female Maths teacher. I still failed.

"The only way you could get French A Level is if you spend the summer over there with a French boyfriend"

I've always wondered why she didn't just stop after the 'over there'. She was pretty cool otherwise.

Back in the 80's I went to the sixth form of an extremely highly regarded girls' school that is now a 'superselective' and almost impossible to get into. I remember the talk on university choices and being warned that some courses were very competitive and that one must have a back-up of a polytechnic course. (I was probably a bit of a snob about polys back then, but was almost certainly right to suspect that an English degree from Wolverhampton Poly wasn't going to be a magnet for employers). I remember them mentioning Oxbridge in a 'stars and teachers' pets only need apply' sort of way that made the rest of us feel incredibly foolish for even thinking we were capable. And I have vivid and painful memories of my English teacher ruthlessly demolishing the first draft of my personal statement before it was even a complete draft. I've been phobic about that blank 2 pages in the application form ever since. Cow.

None of this is overtly sexist, of course, but I very much doubt if the neighbouring boys' grammars and independents presented university choices in quite such a fearful, negative way. What should have been a time for anticipation, excitement and exploration was turned into an ordeal of perfectionism and scalding self-doubt, and probably distorted a lot of our choices at the time.

whoops, must remember this is a message board not a blog, and not go on too long....

I've told this anecdote before, but it's such a doozy I'll repeat it. My girls comp joined up with the boys school next door when I went into the upper 6th. They had loads of school prizes which were awarded on the basis of performance in mocks. A boy won the biology prize. Girls won the further maths, chemistry and physics prizes. A girl should have won the maths prize as well, but (clearly because by this stage the teachers were feeling upset at how things were going) they decided to share it between the top performing girl and the top performing boy, who'd come... wait for it... 5th!

I went on a taster day for the mechanics course at the local college. I was told "we will humour you for now, but girls never finish this course, never mind pass it". I gave up my dream of becoming a mechanic (despite being able to change the wheel faster than all the lads on the taster day) and did a year of childcare instead, which I hated I didn't necessarily give up because he had said I would fail, I gave up because I couldn't be bothered dealing with such an arse for 2-3 years!