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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Is this sexist or have I lost perspective

39 replies

JeanSeberg · 01/12/2014 00:23

Friend misplaced her engagement ring which was later discovered on her toddler daughter's finger. Relief all round.

However, the dad posts on FB to say many legs will be broken before a ring is placed on his daughters finger.

He wouldn't say similar about a son would he.

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 01/12/2014 00:26

No, that is sexist. Along with all those stupid lists of 'rules for dating my daughter' or 'rules for dating my son'. Like they are possessions and you can dictate their lives for them.

It's all a bit shit really, and makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 01/12/2014 00:26

Father implying ownership of daughter. Yeah, pretty sexist.

BOFster · 01/12/2014 00:26

It's very macho/patriarchal, isn't it?

Original poster
JeanSeberg · 01/12/2014 00:28

Thank you. I feel like I'm getting less tolerant as I get older but people are doing more eye rolling towards me!

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 01/12/2014 00:31

Come over and sit with us, we EAT eye rollers Grin

Original poster
JeanSeberg · 01/12/2014 00:35

Oh yes please!

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 01/12/2014 00:41

It's pretty unpleasant let alone sexist. There's ownership, violence, difference between son and daughter...

Original poster
JeanSeberg · 01/12/2014 00:45

If it was just down to me I would post a reply on the fb comment. But they are teachers of my 3 teenage sons' sport and they would be mortified. Might say something in private at the next class.

OP posts:
TooOldForGlitter · 01/12/2014 00:47

A friend of a friend has just posted something similar on FB tonight. The picture of a gun and some crap about "yes my daughter is beautiful but I have a gun and an alibi". It makes me want to scream to be honest. It's got lots of 'likes'. Are they ALL so deluded.

Original poster
JeanSeberg · 01/12/2014 00:49

As I say, if it was just me I would post without hesitation...

OP posts:
YonicScrewdriver · 01/12/2014 08:06

Jean, there was a good FB poster once about "rules for dating my daughter" which boiled down to "she's her own person, up to her really..." Might be a less controversial link if you can find it?!

There's a thread about it somewhere in FWR...

PreviouslyMal · 01/12/2014 08:30

It's like that fucking awful song that' s all over the radio, "can I have your daughter for the rest of her life?"

Makes my blood boil, as do posts from women bemoaning the fact that they are waiting for a proposal.
If a man asked Dh for " permission" to marry DD, he wouldn't be impressed.

skolastica · 01/12/2014 08:40

Apologies, I'm a bit dense when it comes to these things and tend not to notice stuff that others think is sexist - I am prepared to be educated...

However, isn't this comment just a rather crude/neanderthal way of saying that the father wants to protect the daughter? At least that is how I would see it.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 01/12/2014 08:57

Protect his daughter from what though? Being engaged to be married? Men? Sorry if that seems snippy, it's not meant to, and I almost get where you're coming from. I think though, if you look at it from the perspective that he wouldn't be threatening to break his son's potential future female partners legs, and what that says about whether or not he feels protective of that son? If that makes any sense?

skolastica · 01/12/2014 09:26

'Protect' as in duty of care, I suppose. Which a parent has until the child is at least 16.

I get your point re inherited assumptions about gender.

I'm probably as bad - my 25 year old son is a good earner, attractive and very stable - I've felt a fierce need to protect him from women who want babies. Is that sexist too?

Amethyst24 · 01/12/2014 09:52

It's just a lazy cliché, isn't it? Paternalistic and a bit dim, as well as outdated.

But deffo sexist.

BuffytheFestiveFeminist · 01/12/2014 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skolastica · 01/12/2014 10:25

Isn't the rhetoric of violence the refuge of the disempowered? Wouldn't responding with outrage only polarise any discussion?

PuffinsAreFictitious · 01/12/2014 12:20

Yes, Skolastica, 'protecting' your son from women who 'want babies' is pretty sexist as well. Sorry.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 01/12/2014 12:24

It also suggests that you think that the only thing a woman might want from your son is access to his wage packet, not sure if that means you do think your son has anything else going for him, or you simply think that all women are money grubbing witches out to 'trap' your defenceless boy. Either way, it's a bit odd when he's 25!

Vivacia · 01/12/2014 12:25

Horrible women going round, giving babies to poor, defenceless men!

vanillabird · 01/12/2014 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AdamLambsbreath · 01/12/2014 12:35

Ugh. It's like it's a territorial thing. 'My daughter is my possession and I don't want any of you men sullying her by having sex with her. Hands off.'

MoistSponge · 01/12/2014 12:35

"I'm probably as bad - my 25 year old son is a good earner, attractive and very stable - I've felt a fierce need to protect him from women who want babies. Is that sexist too?"

Yes, and why?

AdamLambsbreath · 01/12/2014 12:35

That is excellent, vanilla

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