Did men really do this to their wives

[sickntiredtoo]

I have been watching 'I love Lucy' .In one or 2 of the episodes Lucy's husband spanks her.This is a 1950s mainstraem sitcom so definitely not anything fetishist/porn about it? I have also seen similar things in cowboy films.Was this really considered acceptable as recently as the mid 20th century?

I don't think it's all fetishist.

Some is; then there is the implication that if you beat your wife till she cries for any perceived indiscretion, and then do it daily, she won't argue with you.

No shit Sherlock.

You can read the story of how an abused woman is conditioned on relationships most weekends.

Some of the stuff on that link made me feel almost physically ill, seriously! I just cannot for the life of me allowing my husband to spank me, going up to him willingly for a bare butt spanking. THere is just no way that would happen. It is kinky surely, dressed up as religion?

Surely it would be illegal, in the uk at least, for anyone to actually carry out that stuff? It's assault!

But if a woman was being hit in the face everyday, it would still be illegal, whatever the woman said/thought.

I think it's abuse dressed up as religion.

BDSM is a choice, not a prescribed lifestyle.

It sounds to me like it's soooo about sex - pure kink as a pp said. Almost a way for women to achieve orgasm, which presumably isn't the done thing in those marriages, like nuns self-flagelating.

Maybe the British spanking enthusiasts are just more furtive than their American couins

I don't think so. If anything, I think British enthusiasts are more honest about it, accepting the sexual nature of adult spanking, and separating it from abuse as long as both participants have equal right to give or withdraw consent. But even with consensual BDSM there can be the thrill of pretended force, of "No" not meaning "No".

But in the strait-laced world of ILL and CDD, BDSM is unacceptable, and has to be disguised or made excuse for.

I think that in many ways the Americans are more prudish than the British. They bring sex into issues in ways that would not occur to Brits, eg naked toddlers being shocking.

I just hit the link to Christian discipline. I will never be able to unread it! AHHHH!

Ugh, I wish I had never clicked on that link either. That is one of the problems with the interwebz - there is such a prolific amount of ridiculous dross that you might never have come across, that we now have such easy access to .

The spanking cultural stuff is interesting!

Like I say my vague idea has been formed by what I've read, that was written by people out of the US. I am sure plenty of brits like a spanky time of it but the way it is in these stories and on telly seems a bit different somehow.

I wonder if spanking as a punishment for children is used more in the US - is quite a normal thing to do? It just feels like it's a sort of standard reference point which is totally alien to me.

And then of course plenty of people go on to fetishise stuff that happened when they were kids / or just find that they enjoy it anyway, irrespective!

I'm not planning on clicking the christian links btw!

There is a punishment theme with these groups - I know that as my neighbours are a bit that way and recommended we use "physical punishment" with the kids. They hit theirs on the hand with a wooden spoon though.

the bits pasted on here sound a mix of horrible abusive and pervy that's for sure.

Not impossible to imagine that the men in the groups who came up with these rules (and maybe some of the women too) are getting off on it though is it, even if not all of the people following the rules are.

The thing is, there's so much else of that kind of thing out there - surrendered wives, the Quiverfull lot, and so on. If female oppression is your thing, there are lots of ways to do it that don't involve spanking. I reckon if you choose that particular branch of ultra-conservative Christianity, it's because you get off on spanking your wife.

There's a passage in one of the L.M.Montgomery Avonlea books where several of the older women are discussing a man they know of who spanks his wife and how awful it is, and how they'd rather be knocked down than put across their husband's knee and spanked (the implication being that their husbands don't do either).
That would be a bit later than turn-of-the-century, I think.

MyEmpire - you're absolutely right. I knew I'd worded that post badly!

What I meant to say was, however it's dressed up, men who spank their wives do so because they (and possibly in some cases the wives) get off on it. But to admit that would be pervy and wrong in their world, so they have to pretend it's about something else.

Yes, Amethyst, that's the impression I have too from my brief reading of that website. The way they talk about the woman 'needing' the stress relief of the spanking and her tears giving her a respite from female 'guilt' sounds very much like sexual repression. The couple are using methods that are not overtly sexual (to them) to release pent-up frustration.

I guess if you can only have sex for procreation purposes and if the woman is not supposed to derive any pleasure from it, then I can well imagine that spankings provide her with the stimulation and release she needs. So no surprise she is 'begging' her strong manly husband for a bout of 'discipline' then...ugh...

On a more serious note, I have heard mention of spanking children much more here in the USA than I ever did in the UK. I have actually met a couple of parents here who are Christian and known to spank their children. They are in a home co-op preschool with one of my friends who does not share their values at all but who is 'live and let live' about it. I couldn't associate with people who have those values. It creeps me out.

It is the aspect of pastors/ministers promoting/condoning it that is really disturbing to me.

Goodness, there is some weird crap out there . I feel so sheltered in my little world of normality .

The way Ricky treats and speaks to Lucy in general is disgusting. That way he has of saying "Lucy, Lucy...." in that amused patronising tone made me sit up a bit when I first saw it age 10. I think I just put it down to the show being dated.

Then there's Not Without My Daughter....

There were a few shows that made that "joke" if I remember op. The Honeymooners was particulary fucked up.

Also I think it was I love Lucy that had an episode where she had a black eye (not from Ricky) but everyone kept gossiping thinking it was him like it was a bit of fabulous gossip. Or did I make that up? Sure it happened.