primary school - gender stereotyping

[pinguina]

Hello
I live in the Midlands with DH and 2DD aged 4 and 6. On Friday I received the school newsletter with this info: in order to improve their writing by giving them topics they are interested in, the children in my eldest DD's class have been split into groups, boys and girls. (I quote verbatim): boys' activities include climbing ropes, bending it like Beckham and making paper planes. Girls have been learning how to give a hand massage, how to make an entrance and strike a pose.This afternoon they will be getting together to put on a fashion show.
Is it 1954 and I hadn't noticed? I went to complain to the headteacher. What would you do?

Yes, in some ways social attitudes have gone backwards generation-by-generation - my Mother's fellow 60-somethings are far more 'right on' than many teenagers.

I'm a primary school teacher, and I think this is utterly appalling! I've never encountered anything as blatantly sexist in any of the schools I've worked in (although sadly I have come across the 'girls will write about anything, so we pander more to boys' interests' stance that an earlier poster mentioned). The attitude of your DD's school sounds blinkered at best, and blatantly discriminatory at worst. (FWIW, though, none of the activities they're supposed to be writing about sound that great, not even the boys'!)

Well done for taking action, and as others have said I'd be looking at withdrawing your DD from the activity if the school refuses to rethink it. I have to say, though, I'm not surprised at the apathy of the other parents - I don't have DC of my own, but I'm consistently amazed by the extent to which my otherwise well-educated, professional friends are ready to embrace gender stereotypes when it comes to their own children.

And YY to everything BuffyBotRebooted said upthread. The school needs to know exactly why this kind of thing is so damaging (although it's hard to countenance that so-called education professionals don't know this already!)

I would have been livid! I would have gone marching into the school and told them exactly what I thought. Though it would probably have gone better if I'd hired Buffy as a scriptwriter first.

Yep state school

Having a range of topics to appeal isn't a problem, it's the then telling everyone who's got to do what which is terrible!

Travel - I see the awful uniforms so many private schools insist that girls wear and cringe - sailor dresses etc
Buffy - LetToysBeToys have produced packs, maybe op should suggest them !

I guess you have a point there, TravelinColour. And I suppose I am particularly 'tuned in' to these issues because of my work, and the fact I have an MA which involved analysis of social conditioning and learned behaviours. Most people probably haven't thought about things to the same extent.

Nonetheless, though, the stuff certain friends come out with regularly leaves me aghast. For instance, one friend's Reception-aged DS has a minor (correctable) problem with his leg which means he's not as robust and athletic as some of his peers. My friend's reaction was 'It's a shame it's him rather than DD, because boys need to run around!'

When I look back at photos of the 1980s toddler-aged me running around in brown dungarees and lumberjack shirts, it does make me wonder what has happened over the past ten years to make childhood more polarised in gender terms.

Agree that bringing the school's attention to organisations such as Pink Stinks and Let Toys Be Toys may open their eyes a little.

Blimey. The only one of those activities my DD would have been remotely interested in would have been paper planes, but none of the 'boy' ones sound anything like as totally crap as the 'girl' ones. As is too often the case, the 'boy' activities are actually quite gender-neutral while the 'girl' ones are horrible stereotype-reinforcing shite fit only for the second sex.

Well done for making your voice heard OP. 'Striking a pose' - for the love of sanity. You have to keep reminding yourself that you're not actually in Mad Men and yes, this is 2014.

I work with under 4 year olds and I heard similar crap from both parents and staff ALL. THE. TIME.

'Oh dear, DS is rampaging around again' 'oh he's a boy, he should be like that!'
'DD loves her pink sparkly shit stuff' 'oh yes, typical girl!'

A disturbing number of people just do not see any problem whatsoever with this rubbish. Depressing and frustrating.

Christ on a bike.

That is all.

FFS

www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk/let-toys-be-toys-launches-resources-for-schools/

This might help you OP. It's by a campaign that tackles gender stereotyping for kids and has released some guidelines for schools, you could always send it to your DCs school.

This is shit. So depressing. Agree with pp who suggested comparing with racial discrimination and citing the 2011 equalities act. "Striking a pose" ffs. I'd really be struggling to maintain composure.

What does your dd think?

I never thought I'd say this but if you're not satisfied with the outcome I'd be on the phone to Ofsted.

My DS would love to practise making an entrance! I suppose the topics could be vaguely OK IF they hadn't divvied the groups up along gender lines (especially if they were suggestions from the children) , but instead encouraged children to choose what they wanted to write about. I'm quite horrified though. Letter to governors, if Head doesn't understand what the problem is?

My jaw dropped at this! Strike a pose??
I'm a teacher too - you know, it is absolutely inevitable some switched on kid will ask "why can't Ido climbing ropes" or similar. I'd LOVE to know how the teacher would respond to that.
"That's just for boys."
"You don't want to climb ropes like a boy, do you?"
Write to the governors. My head can't get round the idea of a Head thinking this is a good idea.

Ffs does nothing ever change. Agree with same boat let toys be toys resources are great.

Oh dear God I would have a fit and if I thought this represented attitudes in the school I would seriously be questioning removing my children!

Also going to suggest the lettoysbetoys campaign.

Op let us know how you get on.

Eh? As well as being sexist I am struggling how ANY infant child would be interested in hand massage (or anything to do with making an entrance or fashion shows) !! Weird!!

Am almost speechless at this happening in 2014. I started school in the early sixties and nothing like this was going on in my school even then. I am horrified that we are regressing in the 21st century.

Yes, I was encouraged to play outside, climb trees, run around the neighbouring fields, make mud pies, play house, pretend to be a cowgirl, dress up as a knight, play with home made fairy wings etc.

Ofsted would be a good source. Every school has an Equalities Policy and this is blindingly, stupidly and edly contrary to anything like an equalities policy.
Any school or teacher who thinks this is a good idea does not have a leg to stand on. It also is a poss disciplinary and/or capability issue.

Good luck OP.

As the mother of an 8yr old DD and a school governor I am truly appalled by such blatant, in your face but clearly unthinking sexism. The fact that no one challenged this idea before it ever got to the stage of being sent out to parents horrifies me. I second the idea of taking this up formally with the head and governing body with specific reference to their equality policy and I think using the racism examples to illustrate your point is an effective way of making the point very clearly. I would also ask them to illustrate their response with how boys and girls compare in attainment both in SATS and yearly assessments especially in maths and science. I think you have done very well to approach this in a civil manner it would make me furious. It also makes me want to cry that people in a position of trust and responsibility for young children peddle such sexist nonsense. Well done OP.

DD would love to 'strike a pose' etc - I don't know where I've gone wrong! - but I would still complain.