primary school - gender stereotyping

[pinguina]

Hello
I live in the Midlands with DH and 2DD aged 4 and 6. On Friday I received the school newsletter with this info: in order to improve their writing by giving them topics they are interested in, the children in my eldest DD's class have been split into groups, boys and girls. (I quote verbatim): boys' activities include climbing ropes, bending it like Beckham and making paper planes. Girls have been learning how to give a hand massage, how to make an entrance and strike a pose.This afternoon they will be getting together to put on a fashion show.
Is it 1954 and I hadn't noticed? I went to complain to the headteacher. What would you do?

I am truly shocked by that pinguina. And shocked that no-one at the school appears to view it as an issue. The disparity between the two sets of activities is so huge.

I also don't think it matters whether the children thought up the topics themselves the teachers can still steer i.e. say 'striking a pose' is not an activity!

Men do, women adorn. The objectification of women and girls beginning so early and validated by an authoritative institution i.e. the school.

Of course it doesn't matter if the children cost them. I'm just saying it will be a slightly different complaint, in fact the one you've just outlined buffy.

That's just appalling. I think I would be wanting to find a different school.

That really is dreadful. I would have gone mad too. Stick to your guns and make a big fuss. It's absolutely not acceptable.

So glad it's not just me! I'll let you know what the teacher says - thank you for support and ideas

I's be withdrawing my child from the activity, taking her somewhere to do any activity she wanted to, and write about that. I'd want it recorded as "offsite" learning, and I'd also be writing to the LEA, cc ofsted and the headmaster (and maybe an MP and the education secretary for the cost of a stamp;) )
explaining exactly why my child wasn't attending that session.

And, yes, possibly even considering another school. If that is how they see girls, in year 6 will the boys all be academically successful while the girls look pretty?

In fact, that's a way to maybe get other parents moving- suggest all those who object get taken to an offsite activity- hire a gymnastics hall, or go to a climbing wall, pottery class etc. In school time such things are much cheaper.

Even if it were child directed, it is the teacher's role to sort through and not choose the blatant starlet training activities, or redefine them into something more reasonable. both genders could stand to discuss the mannerly way to enter a room, join a group, make introductions*. Because nobody actually needs to learn how to 'make an entrance'! I can imagine if one of my daughters had gone through a Princessy Diva phase like that, she would have gotten the Cinderella treatment for it and found herself given a chore when she struck a pose!

Once the teacher sorted through and chosen/modified the suggestions to ideas of actual usefulness, all of the students should have had to do a mix of topics, there definitely should NOT have been gendered work groups.

You just know there were children unwilling to speak out about what they were stuck with when it was underway.

• yes, I am aware that the traditional range of good manners with it's tendency to make women delicate is a problem. Which gives you a chance to discuss that it is outmoded and everyone should be attentive to anyone with a pram or packages perhaps needing assistance with doors or steps. And to be gracious in the face of unneeded, or refused, offers.

An offsite activity instead of a writing assignment? That's a bit of a drastic change of plan. Anything offsite requires permission slips, extra adults per child, transport. I am sure the assignment involved an hour of classroom time at the most. They dont need a different activity, just a teacher who thinks like a teacher.

. though that may say something about me

Ask the teacher, the head and the governors how this complies with their legal duties under the Equalities Act. They have a duty not to discriminate on grounds of gender, or race, or disability, or sexuality etc.

Would they separate children by race and give black children different topics from white? Can they see the direct analogy here?

It's a load of sexist bollocks. Complain.

Make sure the Governors know about it too.

Momagain- not suggesting the school do an offsite activity.

If the school refuse to change the plan, I would be getting together with other parents who object, withdrawing our children from school during that activity, and going bowling/climbing/whatever instead.

Buffy - I really want a "like" button for your post of 11.42. It is a really succinct, to-the-point statement of exactly what's wrong, in such a way that even the most dyed-in-the-wool traditionalist would have to see at least what you were complaining about.

I like the idea of taking your DD out of school and going to do something useful instead - local science museum/nature park/climbing wall, that sort of thing.

I would have an absolute shitfit. My god.

Boys: physical skills and engineering.
Girls: how to nurture and how to display themselves.

1954 indeed.

Oh. My. God. Get in there....make an appointment and spell out to them why they are idiots and why your DD or DS won't be doing ANY of that shite.

How... Just...

Nope, lost for words.

Except the word "UGH"

utterly horrific. Make like Madonna, eh - how is that any kind of good role model?

trouble is it sounds like a lot of the parents are equally brainwashed - please tell me it isn't just the mothers.

disgusting.

Can I ask if this is a state school? I would be seriously challenging it as above if so.

I am glad you complained OP. I have ranted on MN before about my son's school holding a Dad's day, for Dad's to come in and "build dens, play football, and do science experiments" in order to inspire the boys.
I asked what "Mum's day" would involve-coming in to show the girls how to wash up?
(Hilariously, two of the Dad's came in and did cooking, so rather scuppered the teachers macho imaginings)
I just can't stand this kind of thing. I think all kids should be encouraged to be outside, building, exploring, making stuff, getting mucky.
I know some fairly princessy girls, but I remember on the last day of summer term I went with a bunch of other parents, and a gang of local girls and boys, into the woods for a picnic, and ALL the children ended up making dens, climbing trees and getting filthy!
It's about letting girls know that actually it's OK to like wearing sparkly tiaras (because it is) but it's also totally girl-like to be active and physical.
Sadly I am not surprised many of the other parents weren't bothered. I am constantly shocked by how complacent my own generation are. My 64 year old mum thinks all the genderising of everything is daft, and actually my Nan would have too (and she WAS a 50's mum) but other 30 somethings just accept it.