Good little video

[HomeHelpMeGawd]

Was pleased to see this

'can't see us as equals'? Are you really sure on that?

and I'd prefer pansplaining as a concept, if you don't mind?

oh dear, okay Buffy, you're grinding a personal axe now, nothing to do with the issue in hand, so I'll leave you to unhappily grind away.

Buffy, seemingly living a life in simple stereo-types. Good luck with that. G'night.

I am really at a loss to know why my previous post has been deleted, mnhq. Does saying "fuck the fuck right off" really count as a personal attack? Isn't ODFOD a widely used acronym on MN. I thought a personal attack was calling someone a name, not telling them to go away, no matter how sweary? Please tell me what was wrong with my post

Pan, you have not read my post carefully

I said you "appear to buy into some really striking rape myths"

That is not a comment on your motives
It is also not the same as saying you do buy into rape myths
It is saying that what you write gives that impression

If you don't want to give that impression to me, you will have to write different things, or at least write things differently. If you don't care about giving that impression to me, I'm not sure why you're complaining

However I am still critical of the responses from Pan and Dad because they fall into the utterly typical "oh, well done, you almost got it right there, but men just don't listen to this type of message, my dear.

Buffy, very few who watch the video, be they male or female, will ever realise the man in it has only the same agency and authority as the girl lying on the couch. That is what annoys me most about this video. The fact the message will fail on delivery, much less so.

For as much as you want to make this video a positive for women how is it not also a deceit against them? Every woman who will unknowingly think the man in the video is the one making it? That his words and actions are intimately his own? But like the girl on the couch he is an actor, a man performing actions and speaking words written for him by a woman.

La trahison des images.

No you haven't misread it at all Buffy. The tone was set by the first inappropriate response from Pan.

Nope Buffy, you've pegged it about right. It's all been a bit giggly and sneery to be honest, although DWH's pseudo scientific shite is becoming increasingly funny as time goes on. Bless him, he does think we're all really very stupid, probably because he doesn't actually read what any of the bubble head women actually write.

I'll have a grip though, you never know when you'll need one in an emergency

Can I have really big grip for my massive and manly hands, please?

With regards the video (now that I've finally watched it!) I quite like it. Although 'real men' make my teeth itch. I can overlook that though because I'm a bubble-headed woman the right message is there.

It is a bit sad that this message needs to be explicitly iterated. How many women would think of doing anything other than what the man did if there was a paraletic man lying on their couch?

This "you've assumed feminists viewing the video a) agree with it in a fluffy, isn't it lovely way; and b) that feminists on this thread have very little professional knowledge of behavioural and social change methodologies" is absolutely what is going on here

Better men will admire it (for 20 seconds) then want to punch the screen (because of the last 5 seconds)
Female feminists will adore it (because of the last 5 seconds)

Speak for yourself DWH. The last five seconds are a little patronising but I like the message the clip gives us; that rape is not normal.

Pan, there's no need for you to be so condescending and contrary.

Buffy, the thing I am sure of is that, without knowledge of the production being written by a woman, people will view the video and see it as the personal work of the man performing in it. I imagine you know even female viewers would be annoyed to discover otherwise.

If you are of the opinion that does not matter as long as the video gets the job done, that's fine. As far as I understand professional knowledge of behavioural and social change methodologies its much like politics, little to do with the ethics of the mechanisms used to achieve it.

Why would they do that, dad? Seems a very odd idea to me. People aren't naive, and most of them have a reasonable understanding.

I think you are confusing your own niche view - which may be perfectly valid of course - with more mainstream thinking. It's easy to do, but sometimes you will find yourself a bit isolated by it.

Haven't read the whole thread, I like the video, great message, but am with Pan re the neck crick.............

I'm all for serious messages and serious responses, but there's sure no harm in a little bit of humour?

"Reverse the roles of the actors and you may see why Pan would take the piss out of it."

Oh dear, reversing the roles of the actors doesn't work because in reverse, it's not going to occur to anyone that the female actor may be entitled to rape the male one and it'll be all his fault for being vair vair drunk.

The Sauce for the Goose argument is nearly always specious and pointless when applied to discussion about oppressed and oppressing groups. And er, it's nearly always applied by a member of the oppressing group. Funny that.