Hi all. Namechanging regular. PM me if you want to know who I am and can't tell from the giveaway writing style - only NC for the remote possibility my students can find me (so if I don't know you from Adam, er, I won't reply to the PM. But I'm sure someone else will verify I'm genuine).
I have a student in my undergraduate class who is both bright, and seems quite defeated/worried by the course. This student is excellent at spotting the drawbacks in academic theories. She's not just shooting them down - she sees exactly where the weak point is. This is good, but she clearly feels uncomfortable and would be happier if she could agree with every theory. She will struggle to get marks, despite this skill, because once she's seen the weak point in a theory, she finds it hard to see how she should involve it in her argument.
Problem is, her boyfriend - who is also bright - is in the same class. My impression is that he sees himself as a more able student than her, and clearly she sees him that way. I am not convinced this is so - it might be (Does it matter? I'd like to know what you think.). Clearly, she is bouncing her opinions off him a lot, and he often tells her she needs to play the game even if she sees the weaknesses in the theory. He's not wrong, but I don't want to stifle her very perceptive understanding of the downsides of theory.
These are adults, and they are as professional as the other members of the class, and it would be wrong to try to stop them engaging with each other's points.
My sense is that many women are uncomfortable speaking up if they see an 'error' in something they're taught. She is struggling to do it. How do I help her to see this is a great skill, while also showing her it doesn't mean she should just write off the theory completely? And how do I explain to her she does need to consider theories ('play the game'), but that the fact her boyfriend says this doesn't mean he's brighter than her?
I would guess lots of women have been in this situation at school/university so I am not just asking teachers (though I know lots of regulars are teachers).
Thanks!