Advice for Teaching this Female Student?

[IrisReticulata]

Hi all. Namechanging regular. PM me if you want to know who I am and can't tell from the giveaway writing style - only NC for the remote possibility my students can find me (so if I don't know you from Adam, er, I won't reply to the PM. But I'm sure someone else will verify I'm genuine).

I have a student in my undergraduate class who is both bright, and seems quite defeated/worried by the course. This student is excellent at spotting the drawbacks in academic theories. She's not just shooting them down - she sees exactly where the weak point is. This is good, but she clearly feels uncomfortable and would be happier if she could agree with every theory. She will struggle to get marks, despite this skill, because once she's seen the weak point in a theory, she finds it hard to see how she should involve it in her argument.

Problem is, her boyfriend - who is also bright - is in the same class. My impression is that he sees himself as a more able student than her, and clearly she sees him that way. I am not convinced this is so - it might be (Does it matter? I'd like to know what you think.). Clearly, she is bouncing her opinions off him a lot, and he often tells her she needs to play the game even if she sees the weaknesses in the theory. He's not wrong, but I don't want to stifle her very perceptive understanding of the downsides of theory.

These are adults, and they are as professional as the other members of the class, and it would be wrong to try to stop them engaging with each other's points.

My sense is that many women are uncomfortable speaking up if they see an 'error' in something they're taught. She is struggling to do it. How do I help her to see this is a great skill, while also showing her it doesn't mean she should just write off the theory completely? And how do I explain to her she does need to consider theories ('play the game'), but that the fact her boyfriend says this doesn't mean he's brighter than her?

I would guess lots of women have been in this situation at school/university so I am not just asking teachers (though I know lots of regulars are teachers).

Thanks!

I wonder if she struggles to see the positives in the theory once she has seen through it in the first five minutes. I struggle with this and struggle to deal with shades of grey too. It's not something I have always struggled with but once I have 'found the answer' I struggle to add to the argument.

Sorry for the delay replying - yesterday got away from me. This has been so helpful, thank you all very much. I promise Buffy isn't my sockpuppet (though I am flattered ).

grennie - I'll give it a go. She is usually with him (understandably). I will of course see her alone to give back essays, but that's a bit late, because my worry is she won't translate her skill into the work because of how she worries.

lordcopper - well ... it's partly the way the course is set up. But yes.

buffy, thank you so much, that describes exactly how she seems to be responding! I must tell her it's a known way to respond. I think that will help. I like your idea of involving her way of thinking in my teaching - I tried to do a bit of that on the hop last week, but next time it'll be easier, I think.

doctor - ah, ok. I did already say I was worried she seemed worried, probably shouldn't have done that. I was trying to get her to open up a little, but I can see what you're saying.

swollenankle - yes, that is what the class is for, trying to find holes in the theory. We do it each time, so they are all familiar with the ultimate goal, but for most of them, it takes a good while to start seeing where the weak points might lie, and by that time, they've covered the more positive side of how the theory works if it is simply accepted.

misty - yes, that is exactly what she struggles with. The problem is, as it stands, she will do very much worse in her exams than she should, because you cannot simply say 'but it won't work,' especially if you are expressing that in a worried, uncertain way as if you think you've done something wrong by saying it.

I do think this is a characteristically female problem. Not that it's unique to women, but that in a subject like this one, it will tend to be women whose previous experience has taught them to respond like this and to reduce their chances of excelling.