Women delaying motherhood is worrying

[funnyvalentine]

The chief medical officer (herself a woman who had 2 kids in her 40s) says it's worrying that women are delaying motherhood:

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/10578227/Women-delaying-motherhood-is-worrying-issue-says-Britains-chief-doctor.html

On the one hand, 'men delaying fatherhood' isn't as much of a health issue. The issues are with a decline in female fertility and increased health risks to pregnancy. But men clearly play a big role in when women have children. So why is it always 'women delaying motherhood' as though it's a choice women make in a vacuum?

She is also concerned that many women are choosing not to have children. I'm at a loss to understand why not having children is a bad thing?

Oh yeah, I know.

I just mean, in terms of governments, that's a reason.

The message is hardly news though - but we are seeing it again and again these days. You best crack on loves before your womb turns to dust.

IME the change isn't down so much to women, rather than about society as a whole. Yes women are having babies later, but surely this is reflection of changes in society overall?

Yet the issue does seem to be laid at the feet of women alone as of it is happening in some kind of vacuum. I think most women are aware of the statistics showing that fertility decreases with age. It's not news.

I had babies at the age that it happened for me (40 & 43). I never felt the pressures to have babies younger that earlier generations may have felt, but neither did I really have the opportunity to have babies younger (and keep my mental health). It happened when it happened and it is really fantastic that I am part of a generation that I feel 'normal' rather than some kind of weirdo for it.

Our capitalist system depends heavily on growth, including population growth.

The whole system here is based on statistics though.

PG1 I was 39 (baby born at 40) therefore under 40 for most of PG. Roll on 3 years, though I was physically in the same state I am now part of the 'over 40' statistics and therefore statistically 'high risk'

My entire experience in the NHS maternity system was different - and not in a good way. Same doctors, same hospital, same birth centre etc etc etc. With PG2 they never saw me as a person at all. I was a troublesome number from start to finish.

Well not really, because the "young people will pay for our pensions" model has been totally shown not to work. I think everyone's pretty much agreed on that. And economic growth now relies on a few really intelligent people. There's no value in mass labour anymore. Robots will be able to make pretty much everything within a generation. Arguably, the average global citizen would be happier, healthier and wealthier if there were about 30% fewer of us. I just find it odd that on this very crowded planet where all the signs are that we should not keep increasing the population, that everyone is worried about declining population.

BeCool Fri 17-Jan-14 12:12:24
The whole system here is based on statistics though.

Given the utterly disgusting misuse of statistics with regard to healthcare that are regularly printed unquestioned in our newspapers on a daily basis and that even reputable papers printed in medical journals are often grossly flawed, I tend to take many statistics with an enormous pinch of salt.

They are routinely misused for certain agendas. Not because they show what is better or worse for us.

One of the most brilliant things about his age is that women know how not to have children they don't want. I am quite certain that this saves a lot more than it costs.

I cannot see a single problem with it, even if the human race ends up disappearing. Really, the planet would be better off without humans anyway.

plain - good to know. I apologize; in that case, yes, meh. No idea. Just society being uncomfortable with childless women?

I saw this article earlier.

She can feck off.

It's a bit disingenuous to say "it's not for me to tell women what to do" when it is heavily implied by everything else she says.

HeeHiles, I think you were correct in pointing that out. Often it isn't a 'choice'. There are no messages to men that they should be having children earlier. In today's society children are more often than not conceived by two people in a relationship. And that is a message that this government is reiterating time again. Just in case those pesky women decide they don't want to be in relationship with a man when they have children. If one person in that relationship (and it could very well be the man and perhaps more likely to be as there is no pressure on them to have children earlier in life. Or in fact at all) does not want to have children then there is very little the other person can do about it.

As for more women not having children well that seems bloody obvious as to why that would be. Lack of support and the whole women-blaming and misogyny when they do have children. Women take on board the drip drip effect of these messages either subliminally or much more consciously.

Just society being uncomfortable with childless women?

Yeah, that's what I think. Because there's no logical reason for wanting people to have more kids- for a start, we'd all be dead long before it became a real issue- so it must be some deep seated thing about women not fulfilling what is seen by some as their primary purpose.

I do sometimes wonder though, if we died out, if another future species would get all obsessed about us, the way we have about dinosaurs

Women who have children later are MORE LIKELY to be in a relationship than those who have them younger.

Do remember it is not just about your 'ovaries shrivelling up'. The risks of an older pregnancy are higher to both mother and baby. The risks of disability get much higher.

From the NHS website:-

What are the health risks of late pregnancy?

As women get older, both mothers and babies face an increased risk of pregnancy-related complications and health problems. These are due to changes in the reproductive system and the increased likelihood of general health problems that comes with age. Problems include:
Greater difficulty in initially conceiving a child, with the personal and psychological difficulties that this can cause.
Increased risk of complications for both mother and infant during pregnancy and delivery (although the actual size of the risk may be small).
Greater risk of general maternal health problems, such as high blood pressure, which can contribute to complications.
Higher risk of miscarriage in women above the age of 35.
Higher risk of having twins or triplets, which is itself associated with higher risk of complications.
Increased chance of having a baby with a congenital abnormality, such as Down’s syndrome.
Increased risk of pre-eclampsia.
Increased risk of complications during delivery, such as prolonged labour, need for assisted delivery or Caesarean section, or stillbirth.

It seems fair to inform young women of all the risks so that they can make an informed decision.

Redtoothbrush - that maybe true, but I know a lot of people around 35-40ish that rush through an engagement, marriage for the sole purpose of having children. They become less selective and can be married with children within a few years of meeting. I always fear for their relationships, they seem built on the goal of children.

I don't think there is anything wrong with giving as much information as you can to potential mothers. I don't like the assumption that motherhood is inevitable. Also, the cost of living and change in the amount of women working without this balancing out with the amount of men staying at home to parent, need to be taken in to account.

I agree timetoask. I have several friends in their mid 30's who want children but are waiting for 'the right time'. They are aware that their chances of having kids start to diminish at 35 but I don't think the other problems are something they realise - they certainly have never mentioned it and we have talked a lot about having kids.

It's not worrying per se. There is no shortage of human beings, after all.

I don't know that they do Buffy to be honest.

I think many young women (not all) don't recognise the risks, yes. They see celebrities having healthy babies left, right and centre at 40+ and this gives them a slight rose tinted view of reality. Any information is good and useful surely?