Women delaying motherhood is worrying

[funnyvalentine]

The chief medical officer (herself a woman who had 2 kids in her 40s) says it's worrying that women are delaying motherhood:

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/10578227/Women-delaying-motherhood-is-worrying-issue-says-Britains-chief-doctor.html

On the one hand, 'men delaying fatherhood' isn't as much of a health issue. The issues are with a decline in female fertility and increased health risks to pregnancy. But men clearly play a big role in when women have children. So why is it always 'women delaying motherhood' as though it's a choice women make in a vacuum?

She is also concerned that many women are choosing not to have children. I'm at a loss to understand why not having children is a bad thing?

I LIKE it, Buffy :o

Very good indeed.

"Maybe she should just say, 'fuck it, your choice', as you lie there in your hospital bed."

Well as long as she forgoes her generous salary and makes way for somebody else to do the work, then who gives a shit?

Funny I was just putting the other side out there, sorry didn't want it to sound critical of you :-) Just used your post as a jumping board to back up my argument. I wish I had met the right man earlier as I wanted loads of children. I've been blessed with 2 gorgeous girls, dd2 was conceived when I was 39! A 'geriatric' mum

I don't think that any woman disagrees with the medical fact that fertility declines as we get older and the later we leave it the more risks, less chance etc etc. I mean its shoved in our faces by media, friends, family, medical profession almost on a constant basis now.

'they're always looking for the perfect circumstances' - um who on earth are THEY? All of my friends in my 30's want to have kids and NONE of them currently have a partner or if they do have a partner the partner is currently unwilling.

Um - this is not actually looking for the perfect circumstances.

Its hard to make a baby if you don't actually meet any one to even have sex with more than once and it's irresponsible to 'accidentally' get pregnant with a partner who has categorically said no they don't want kids yet.

I totally get the fact that SOME people may want to delay for perfect circumstances but if you listen to all the comments out there you would be forgiven in assuming that this was FACT for every woman of a certain age.

Women know that their ovaries are shriveling by the minute. It's shoved in our face A LOT.

Ha. Well said Buffy and join

The medical profession are looking at populations and statistics, which is all very well.

The problem I have with these articles is that regular rotation of variations on this theme is not only tedious, but it feels like an attack on women. The only science articles I see being trotted out as 'news' (with not actual news content) on such a regular basis are about alcohol and they are definitely intended to scare / change behaviour. I therefore am inclined to conclude that these articles are not science, but are intended to change behaviour.

I have a few problems with that. The 'it takes two to make a baby' is an obvious one and mentioned upthread.

I despise the image of this hard nosed 'career woman' with pockets of cash rocking up at 42 demanding an 'IVF baby'. If they're interested in populations then why single out this stereotype that I'm not entirely convinced exists How about the stereotype of a man who won't grow up and wants to have kids 'at about 40' without considering that perhaps ought not to have married a woman his own age if those were his plans?

Finally I find these articles terribly patronising. As a woman with no children in her early 30s, I do understand the basic biology. The idea that it's not occurred to me that having kids in 5 years might not happen is ludicrous because it's trotted out on the front page of the right wing press at least quarterly.

First, I just didn't want to have children in my 20s. Personal choice, wasn't remotely ready/interested. Second, I didn't have enough money as wasn't far enough along in career until my 30s. Third, I didn't meet DH til I was 28. Suspect lots of other women would say the same, so what are we supposed to do about it other than get pregnant by someone unsuitable and go on benefits and risk losing chance of decent earnings through building career?

Apparently the 'fertility falls off a cliff post-35' theory is based on a study of women in 18th century France

The question should be: why men don't want to have kids in their twenties?

Because they want to have fun, lads trips, no responsibility. Generalising here as the article does about women.

Should all women look for a partner at least 10 years older so they are mature enough to want kids?

exactly joinyourplayfellows

it is not that women don't want the information. but we have to weigh it up against our own situation. as scottishmummy says 'Whilst there is a biological optimum,it's not necessarily at same time as stability,finance,etc'. most women understand the risks of motherhood later and i don't think they mind being (non-patronisingly, and not weekly ) told about them, and as Prof Davies is a medical professional she is going to be viewing the risks from that POV. but there are other risks that come with having children, which aren't necessarily healthcare related

it's women not being trusted to weigh up the different pressures and risks. we have to be reminded

Great job buffy and join :)

HeeHiles didn't read it as critical, just wanted to point out that I (and I'm sure other women) are aware of fertility when making our decisions :)

So I agree with her comments that there are health implications to women having children later in life, and that perhaps the overall health of the nation could be improved if the average age of mums could be brought down. I absolutely don't think that individual women are making selfish decisions about when to have kids.

I think there is plenty of awareness of the fact that female fertility declines. But, beyond saying to women "get on with it", what else could be done?

No that's not the case mooncup.the research is contemporaneous
Think about it,really and sensibly.public health research is drawn from 17c France

No that's not the case mooncup.the research is contemporaneous
Think about it,really and sensibly.public health research isnt drawn from 17c France

In fairness prof Davies said “It’s not for me to tell women what to do"
Her advice is correct.fertility decrease chronological age,and birth risk rises
Women should be told this,to make informed choice,to have the knowledge

quite drinkfeckarsegirls - and i think it's unsurprising that women might want those things too in their twenties, and i don't think that's a selfish thing

i think there are very very few women who aren't aware that there might be implications re waiting to have children

Absolutely Funny My long term boyfriend split up with me when I was 29 - Thought that was it and I would never have children. Plus I started my periods at 10, my mum started her Menopause at 45. I was very aware as I am sure all women are that I had a very short window of opportunity - we really don't need telling over and over.

PS. We hope that you are not considering becoming a single mother in order to meet our request for you to hurry up and breed. Because then you will be responsible for all that's wrong in our society. And we hope that you are not considering having a child and returning to work, because then you will be responsible for all that's wrong in our society. And we hope that you are not considering becoming a stay-at-home-mother, because then you've wasted your education and have no value whatsoever in our eyes. And we hope that you are not considering remaining child free by choice, because then you will be responsible for all that's wrong in our society

Love it Buffy perfectly put!

re risks and my earlier post about finances and promotions - if it turns out htat over the next say 5 years we don't get expected promotions/pay rises etc, my weighing up of the risks would likely change. so the risk of my fertility declining will likely feel of more importance than the risk of finances being tight

it's what rational grown up people do

No one is being hectored,it's a fact.fertility decrease with age.like other medical facts
Public health will run campaigns inc topic like fertility.also Diet,exercise campaigns
One could argue the purpose of public health is to disseminate info.up to individual what you do with it

Sometimes women don't "choose" to delay having children. There may be financial reasons, fertility reasons, emotional reasons... in fact, there may be a wealth of reasons.

I fully appreciate the concerns on risks and declining fertility but things are not as clear cut as the media would presume them to be.

As for population, the world is already overpopulated. If for a few generations, we have less children, that's not a bad thing.

buffy good list, and i would also add, there are careers where you are expected to put in the long hours and high productivity and move up the ladder quickly during the years that coincide with women being fertile (i'm thinking of academia as an example but i'm sure there are others - i have heard of maternity leave being treated as a sabbatical by universities so women are still expected to publish/research during that time)

i'm sure this harks back to when men would be the workers and would be building their careers up during their 20s/30s before settling down with a younger woman when they had the income to support a full household

a greater variety of pathways and support for progression would really help in addition to your points

Scottishmummy I think it's up to more than the individual to decide what to do with the information, there are other interested bodies :)

Sounds like we're in a situation where it'd be better for the health of the country as a whole if women had kids younger. But for individual women, it's better for them if they have kids older. So should other bodies (medical profession? government? companies?) be doing anything different with the info?