Women delaying motherhood is worrying

[funnyvalentine]

The chief medical officer (herself a woman who had 2 kids in her 40s) says it's worrying that women are delaying motherhood:

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/10578227/Women-delaying-motherhood-is-worrying-issue-says-Britains-chief-doctor.html

On the one hand, 'men delaying fatherhood' isn't as much of a health issue. The issues are with a decline in female fertility and increased health risks to pregnancy. But men clearly play a big role in when women have children. So why is it always 'women delaying motherhood' as though it's a choice women make in a vacuum?

She is also concerned that many women are choosing not to have children. I'm at a loss to understand why not having children is a bad thing?

Well, firstly if more and more women choose to not have children, there will eventually be population issues. I wouldn't consider it a particularly pertinent issue currently, but it could be I guess.

As for the age women have children, I'm not entirely sure why she (or anyone) gives a shit if you are 17 or 47.

I would also add that I would agree that the 'issue' is 'women' delaying parenthood and not men, because being (or at least remaining) pregnant is entirely a womans choice.

I am not a medical professional, and I understand the increasing risks to health and decrease in fertility that she is highlighting. What bit don't you understand? Or are you just looking to pick a fight with the medical profession?

I wish people would stop pontificating about when (and how) women should become mothers.

Its a rather tired old story though, isn't it?

Dear Women,

You might think that this is not a good time for you to have baby BUT YOUR OVARIES ARE SHRIVELLING UP!!!

Yours patronisingly,

Patriarchal Society

If she is speaking as a doctor, and looking at the biological aspects of female fecundity and age, that is an entirely appropriate topic and one where there are genuine sex-specific issues.

The choice of an editor to put it onto the front page is however more to do with a view on reproductive choices, but wih 'sciency' window dressing.

Yes Join - Do they want us to get pregnant just for the hell of it? Never mind if that woman has a home to raise her child in or met a man who wants to be a father or suited to fatherhood.

Women and men will wait until the time is right to have their children and with the next generation saddled with student debts and unsuitable housing how the hell are they going to plan their families?

Not looking to pick a fight, I love the medical profession! I think they can do amazing things :) And I do believe that fertility declines etc. which is one reason I personally had kids in my early 30s.

Just wondering about the rhetoric around the subject. Why it's always women choosing not to have kids when there may be a million and one other ways to encourage women to have kids earlier. But no, it's always the women 'choosing' to go against medical advice.

I can't see the problem if British women aren't having children. Global population is still high. If future generations need a workforce in Britain they can look to migrants. I think the issues in China and India with men far outnumbering women are going to be bigger issues.

I think the trouble is that they're always looking for the perfect circumstances, the very best chances at the very best outcomes (completely understandably), but life just isn't like that, it's all about weighing risks.

I had children mid-30s, which is on the edge of the cliff of risk - I'm also rather fat, but then again I do eat healthily, but then again I drank during pregnancy and ate runny eggs, but then I don't have any exposure to farm animals or pets, I don't wash my apples, but I also don't eat bagged salad, I didn't drive very much, I sat down for my work, but I did weight training at the gym and always ate my veggies.

The medics look at populations, not individuals, and this article is picking on the age of the woman as an issue. I've read them about the age of the father (it does have health implications), and I've read about them on various other related topics, I don't think this is necessarily victimising in itself, the problem comes when people use it as a stick to bash uppity career women.

Funny - that's great - but what would have done if your husband/partner had left you just before your 30th birthday? What if he didn't want to have children at that point?

If I was in a loving relationship with a man in my 20's and we were both ready to have children then I would have at least 4 children by now - but I wasn't in that position - it wasn't a choice, it's life!

I guess, rather than just simply saying that women should have kids earlier, I'd like better analysis. How did we arrive at a situation where British women are delaying motherhood more than in other countries? Is there anything that can be implemented that doesn't just involve telling women to get on with it?

HeeHiles didn't mean to suggest my having kids early-30s was entirely of my own making - I'm just lucky it worked out that I could, and I had the declining fertility stats in the back of my mind when discussing kids with DH at the time. As well as all sorts of other factors (career, home, finances, extended family etc).

It is entirely appropriate for doctors to research and monitor sex specific aspects of child bearing.

But it's hardly news that as women age, the chances of becoming pregnant and carrying that pregnancy to term decline, and that certain anomalies become commoner. It is also appropriate for health economists to point out that medical interventions for infertility or complications in pg cost money. But again that is hardly news, let alone front page news.

It is the newspaper editorial team which chose the angle and the prominence of the story.

I think she's speaking solely about optimum age to get pg
In fairness she said “It’s not for me to tell women what to do,”
From a biological perspective she correct,fertility decrease with age and risk increases

"I had children mid-30s, which is on the edge of the cliff of risk"

No, it isn't "on the edge of a cliff" risk at all.

The whole YOUR WOMB WILL FALL OUT ON YOUR 35th BIRTHDAY is just manufactured fertility panic.

Fertility panic is very useful in convincing women not to become "career women" who expect to be paid the same as men for the work they do, but to have babies when it will most damage their earning power.

Women are perfectly well able to weigh up their own risks and priorities in their own lives without needing to be constantly told how they are going to FUCK UP THEIR LIVES FOREVER if they don't have babies NOW NOW NOW.

Oh ease up on the conspiracy theories and shouting

It's not women choosing to have children late in life -

It's society forcing them to!

Cost of housing
Cost of childcare
Pressure/desire/need to have a career

I'm unbelievably lucky/and totally trapped by not having to work to give my DDs a decent standard of living.

Lucky because I found DH at 20, lucky we could afford a ex-right to buy council house we could afford, lucky he got promoted.

Trapped because, with no established career (I stayed on as a postgrad, but didn't get a PhD) and no nearby family I fell into being a SAHM. Childcare in our lovely rural back water is very thin on the ground and costs what I'd earn so I've remained one.

are there some diseases that childbearing and breastfeeding help protect against (for the mother)? do they outweigh the 'cost' in terms of healthcare of pregnancy, childbirth, longterm health problems that many women face as a result of childbearing? because if not then i can't see why from a purely healthcare perspective why a woman choosing not to have children would be a problem

having children later in life is a separate issue, and it's hard to know what angle she was coming from because we haven't seen the full transcript, just the newspaper's slant as auntiestella says

i agree with "why is it always 'women delaying motherhood' as though it's a choice women make in a vacuum?". DP and i want to have children, and i am in my late twenties, so the comments such as "If you are a woman in a relationship and you know you want a child, I would say get on with it" are aimed directly at me. we've just taken on a mortgage, and the fact is if we were to have a child within the next year the financial pressure would be crippling and (rightly or wrongly, and depending on decisions about parental leave) my or his career would likely stall for a number of years, prolonging the financial pressure. within 3-5 years both of us will likely have achieved 1-2 promotions and this will be less of a problem. this isn't the only reason why we have decided to wait

oops

... this isn't the only reason why we have decided to wait, but it is the main one

Whilst there is a biological optimum,it's not necessarily at same time as stability,finance,etc
Like most folk,I chose when I was solvent,at good career stage.that was a choice
Pragmatically when I was a right career stage and solvent,but I was mindful of age and was aware of research

Until society wises up to the cost of housing and child care and devises flexible working for both sexes. The problem will remain.

Fucking student loans and paying back university fees are only going to make it far, far worse for my DDs.

"If you are a woman in a relationship and you know you want a child, I would say get on with it"

The problem with this, apart from it being entirely addressed to you (which is arguably as it should be, you are the one who will carry any child so you get to make the final decision as to when you want to do that) is that it presumes that wanting a child should be your first and only priority.

It tells you that if you want children you need to put that above everything else in your life and do it regardless of the damage it does to your ability to be financially independent, your ability to contribute to the world through your work, your ability to live a life you find pleasant and enjoyable.

And it's not new information, it's just the same old crap packaged up in the same old way. Oh look, another woman who had her children "late" warning younger women not to do the same.

This discussion is a perfect example of how people can choose to put whatever slant they want on any information at all. OP, it's an interesting article, but unfortunately you are just going to get the same old 'patriarchy patriarchy patriarchy' bullshit peddled out. Pity.

Because if you choose to have a child at a later age, it is professionals like Professor Sally Davies who might have to sort out any complications you encounter. Maybe she should just say, 'fuck it, your choice', as you lie there in your hospital bed.