The Feminist Pub - come in and chat.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This is something like the fourth pub chat thread - please pull up a chair at the bar. Everyone welcome.

Old thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1920422-The-Feminist-Pub-continued?

But it's pretty much full so welcome in.

I'm sure I've talked about DX with you before LRD, I am DX dyslexic, but I think it's very likely I also have number issues and dyspraxia.

Dyspraxia is the DX I'd like the most because I'd love it if my family would shut up about my not having a drivers licence... Probably a vain hope though. My mother doesn't even believe in dyslexia! She didn't tell me I was DX at 11 until after I'd finished my degree.

buffy, that sounds familiar. Although I think for me it is to do with not having much by way of role models. My parents really don't have friends, so I never saw adult interaction to learn it. I know you're not fishing and so on, but you never come across as tactless or uncertain on here, not at all.

Might well have done, te, I seem to remember that too.

Your mum sounds infuriating.

People are odd about driving. My big brother has a license but I am so, so, so glad he no longer drives. It is simply not worth the worry - he's not safe. People sometimes act as if everyone should be able to drive and it's really dangerous.

This is the thing - all human behaviour is part of a spectrum.
IMVHandnotexpertO many toddlers have some autistic traits but most outgrow them, some don't.
I could never ever be a psychiatrist because I'd always struggle with the fact that the person in front of me is the only person on this planet who truly knows what they are feeling and you are entirely dependent on how articulate somebody is to try and tease a diagnosis and, more importantly, appropriate treatment and support out of them. Yes, you can observe behaviour, but the overlap between various MN/behavioural problems is so huge, the responsibility to get it right would send me running for the hills, screaming.

And when anything presents atypically, it's always harder to get it right . It's part what makes medicine so hard - it's based on the sciences, but it is NOT a hard science IYKWIM.

Small talk - pfffft. I am rubbish at that.

Ok, I am off to play Yahtzee with DS1 - he's winning so far!

Sorry, pacific, I am worried now I came across as rude to medics and that wasn't my intention at all.

buffy - true, I can see that.

I do find the stuff about up sides with disability fascinating (in general, I mean).

Thanks, that looks really interesting.

It makes sense it would spill over into the co-morbids. Which would explain a lot.

I'm not one for the 'wiring' theory, I will admit, but I think the conditioning in those areas starts so early, we are never really without it.

Oh, I feel better about my mid 20s score in that test now. I do wonder how to answer some of the questions though. It's very much who you compare yourself to and if I considered my Mum (a teacher) as 'normal' I'd get a very different score than if I considered my work colleagues (all scientists) as 'normal'.

Good point prof.

I think there is some virtue in just having things confirmed, for your own piece of mind as well.

A year ago I was convinced dd1 might have autism (she's nearly 5) and I have spent masses of time working on her soft skills, which has helped I think, but maybe just time as well.

But it's a bit awkward because I do get the impression that the understanding is not there a lot of the time, and that my friends with DC who are similar but male dogs not seem to be concerned at all about their children's lack of social skills...

Lately I have been wondering if actually there is a difference in exPectations even with tiny children that girls should be more social.

Not male dogs! Male DC..,

YY, lego. And I think it must have to do with stages in your life (dim memory this is part of Baron-Cohen's work, that he has theories on teenage years being important somehow). But for me, sure, I am going to tick the box about enjoying being alone, but if I were stuck home with a newborn baby I can imagine I would be absolutely craving adult company because I'd know I couldn't have it.

I suppose I wonder if girls who are hf are actively taught the social skills they struggle with because their parents note their behaviour as different much younger, and and because they are taught this hides their symptoms. An inadvertant early intervention I suppose. That HF boys may not get.

That's very generalistic, but trying to get at society influencing different presentation

I just did that test and got a 9. I wonder what that means about me .

Sorry, as you were...

Oh, I am off to do the test.

Just to say to LRD you were not at all rude and I don't feel terribly about my profession as a whole and as I did not laugh the person seeking an assessment out of my surgery I feel entitled to stay in the pub .
And I really don't get offended easily.

I think I am quite empathic, but not v perceptive ie things have to be spelled out for me in words of one syllable.

Prof, v interesting, your contributions and experiences, thanks for those.

Well, I got 15.
But as usual with these tests my favourite answer is missing: "depends"

Thanks for the link too, Prof, might well come in useful.

As we are on the subject: is anybody watching The Bridge? What do you all make of Saga Norén?

Oh, good!

I also really do not think medics do badly here. I just think it is incredibly difficult, diagnosing people.

It is. And when I think about it too much, I get scared of the responsibility. So I try not to over-think it too much and be competent and safety-net ("come back if it does not get better") and communicate well and hope for the best.
And still that part of my job is what makes it so good for lack of a better description - the other crap is what's crap

I can't begin to imagine. It's a scary job.