The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

The rate of rape in the military forces in America is incredibly high. I think it is 1 in 4 women in the military are raped by their male colleagues. Will look for a link to it later. But that would be my biggest worry.

yes bunny i agree about capability, and the nature of combat is changing too

coldwinter i had that thought too

Sexual violence does worry me, but it seems rather victim blaming to use that as a reason not to allow women to serve on the frontline (which is what you often hear). What it really means is that there need to be ways found to stop soldiers raping their colleagues.

I have difficulties with the military in general actually. I know that they have to create an environment where trust in teh team is total and no man will be left behind. But I am not sure that creating that environment by some of the macho shit you seem to see used isn't actually turning out worse soldiers, ill equipped for the nature of modern warfare and with a worrying tendency towards all forms of violence.

I agree with penguins, though obviously violence is a concern.

There was a discussion on here a while back, where Dittany pointed out that if you force people to compartmentalize in order to be aggressive - which you have to do in order to train soldiers, you can't not - you've taught them the skills to compartmentalize and justify aggression in other situations too, and you have to take responsibility.

Oh yes I remember that thread, very true. I am very disturbed by the whole concept of armed forces training. I am sure they are necessary - but perhaps only necessary because other countries have them, and who had armies first? Self fulfilling prophecy perhaps, until they start using machines to blow people up instead :(

Anyway, I don't pretend to be an expert, and equally I expect there are many military men who are fantastic husbands and fathers, but I'm afraid that all those I have met seem to be obsessed with violence and aggressive almost as a way of life... Even my Grandad who I've always known to be physically gentle (he cared for my Grandma for years when she was ill) can be (is often) harsh and blunt with words and absolutely compartmentalises his emotions. Perhaps a generational (male) thing rather than a having-been-trained-in-combat thing, and he did have a horrible childhood and was then traumatised by things he saw in the war at age 12, but honestly the way that he deals with emotional things is almost beyond belief sometimes.

Can I have another very sweet virtual drink? Looks like I may have gestational diabetes, so very few real ones for while

"But I am not sure that creating that environment by some of the macho shit you seem to see used isn't actually turning out worse soldiers, ill equipped for the nature of modern warfare and with a worrying tendency towards all forms of violence."

I agree, surely there has to be another way? Has any military ever done any different though?

Oh, no.

Sorry to hear that, murder.

As to different ways ... I don't know. I guess it goes to the root of that question, why is violence gendered? I can't believe men are innately more violent than women. But something must happen, socially, to keep these patterns going.

I think it would be interesting to consider whether the military could do things differently. A sort of Athena Swan for the military.

Sorry to hear about that murder. (Are you Murderofgoths? I love that name.)

May I register my disgust that the fecking penisbeaker has destroyed my ability to enjoy the Feminist Pub tonight - server has been down most of the time.

I am now removing myself to bed. In order to not speak to DH who has been laughing and pointing at my distress tonight. AIBU to withhold sex out of pure spite tonight?

I hope it all calms down soon - it was not that outrageous, that thread...

We live in a phallocentric world, Pacific :(

Oh no Murder! Do the 2nd test. It's more accurate than the first. You said you were really sick, that could have fucked up your reading.

I have a beef with those tests. Clearly.

What's the deal with the site today? ? Too slow!

Ahhhhh, that' better now.

A bit early for 'something stronger', but I'll have a white coffee please - none of your foamed milk shite for me, thanks

Tomb, according to my googling research a certain thread on MN went viral (Twatter and Buzzfeed etc picked up on it, there was an article in the Independent online about it...), people trying to get on MN doubled and Tech in his Shed couldn't pedal fast enough to keep the server going. Or summat more technical.

Yy to phallocentric world - DS4 cannot stop playing with his and then showing me how big it gets - I try to look bored to neither encourage nore traumatise him too much. 'Tis a fine line to wander!

Murder, oh crap! How do you know? Yes, get several tests done to confirm the diagnosis.

none of your foamed milk shite for me, thanks Yes! What's with this drinking of air!? Can't stand it. If I want to consume air I eat a meringue.

It's like that Dream Matt Mouse foundation.

YOU ARE PAYING TWICE THE PRICE FOR AIR LADIES !!!

Obviously mousse not mouse

Bloody penis beaker thread. I mean, mildly amusing for 15 seconds, but that's what goes viral? Not any of the interesting and insightful threads on here every week.

I haven't seen it. Is it interesting?

Oh, thank god, MN seems normal again.

upto - no, it isn't. I'm easily amused and the first few pages were funny enough, but don't bother.

pacific, I see your feministy hatred of your DH and join you. The bastard spent all last night either snoring or rhythmically kicking the bed.

I spent it droning 'stop it love ... stop it ... love, stop snoring' in a hopeless monotone.

Clearly the these are the signs by which we shall know the coming patriarchial shitstorm.

Poor murder sorry to hear that.

Mouse foundation

Poor murder I hope it works out

One of the things that does make me so very tired is fielding lengthy emails from people who persistently assume I am my husband's PA.

I forward them on, cc'ing the sender, LRD. Any good for you?

Tempting, very tempting.

It's mostly to do with DH's utter crapness answering his emails/messages. Now, surely if I ignore, they should follow up with him? But do they? No.

I shall sit here and slurp coffee while glowering.

Friends, relations or work folks sending then, LRD?

That's enraging LRD