The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

No with any male contraception, there is side effects e.g. condoms - loss of feeling. The same with a male pill, there would be side effects, just as there are for the female pill. MRA's want men to be able to have consequence free fucks.

I also think some men like the idea that maybe PIV will get a woman pregnant - although they don't actually want to take any responsibility for an actual baby. The idea of - spreading their seed.

do you mind if i join?

re contraception, dp is shocked when i tell him the pain and side-effects i have put up with. the pill did not agree with me. i love the copper coil too, but when i explained the ratcheting open with the speculum, forcing applicator through cervix etc... he just hadn't realised how brutal the whole process can seem

Women at War this was an interesting radio 4 programme i caught the end of yesterday

"Emma Barnett visits the Canadian army to find out what life is like for women serving on the military front line, and she explores whether the British Army might change its rules to let women serve in these positions.

In early 2013, the United States Secretary of Defense announced that US armed forces would soon open positions in ground close combat units - those designed to close with and engage the enemy - to women.

In Canada those posts have been open for nearly 20 years. In this programme Emma visits Brenda Hawke, a soldier who has served 16 years in the infantry, and Ashley Colette, an officer who received one of Canada's highest awards for her leadership of a combat unit in Afghanistan, to find out the reality of combat for women. And she speaks to Colonel Jennie Carignan, one of the Canadian Army's most senior women, about the challenges the organisation faced in integrating women.

The British armed forces last reviewed their exclusion of women from these roles in 2010, and are not due to reconsider until 2017-18. But the American decision leaves the UK isolated amongst close allies, and Emma speaks to the Chief of Defence Personnel at the Ministry of Defence, Lieutenant General Andrew Gregory, to ask whether the UK may now bring forward that review."

That programme looks interesting...

On contraception - yes, always consequences. Even if you are lucky like me and experience few problems with the pill. You have to remember to take it every day. Pack it if you go away. Make appointments for repeat supplies. That's a consequence. You do alter the hormonal balance of your body in minor ways, even if you don't notice obvious and negative consequences.

MRAs want sex without consequences.

I think MRAs want to fuck with no consequences. I think there is a difference.

agreed

they want sex without consequences to them. which requires the control of the bodies and minds of women

Thanks for the link willy, will have a listen later today.

I've yet to find a contraception that agrees with me. I've tried a lot and would love there to be more options that my DH could explore.

It is true that in the FP waiting room I tend to feel a sense of " we're all here getting "sorted out" for the benefit of our menfolk"
In a way, that's a feminist thought, because I recognise the inequality issues that mean women are responsible for contraception and are the ones who suck up the consequences.
But in another way maybe it's not fem. thinking because it sort of hints at the idea that we women don't want sex (separate issue?) and we're having sex just to please men.
Also, I can see that access to contraception is emancipating in itself, whatever the other views about sex.
I loved the pill. I had no side effects and I was also able to control my own cycle with it when I wanted.
But of course I was advised to stop taking it when I got to some point over 35yrs because of the health risks. The coil is ok, but it definitely has more immediate side effects and was a brutal experience for me to have fitted.

Is it too early for a coffee laced with rum?

Willie the combat issue utterly perplexes me. That's gotta be a whole twist turny web of mess as an issue.

" we're all here getting "sorted out" for the benefit of our menfolk"

I think that is a feminist thought. Yes women enjoy sex. But there are condoms. And there are lots of other enjoyable ways of having sex without penetration.

I like condoms. Clean and tidy. They have to take their own mess and tidy up

And condoms are much safer for women. As well as not having side effects, they protect against STD's

Comfy chair, rum- laced coffee and a slice of please.
Can anyone recommend a good book?

I do get annoyed at all the useless DP's women talk about, who just don't pull their weight. It is so common.

clarke - what type of book? A novel, travel writing, history?

Hmmm. Novel please coldwinter

It's 6 a.m. here. I got maybe 3 hrs sleep. I need a strong coffee...and keep 'em coming please!

Pancake-I never actually even noticed the initials! I wish I could take credit.

Novel suggestion for Clarke-The Concubine's Daughter.
True story, about a Chinese immigrant woman who is the daughter of a Concubine and the role of her mother in Chinese and North American society. Great read. It often brings on lots of debate.

On crass comments re gender of baby, I favour a short pause and then 'What an unfortunate remark' but I appreciate that is quite arsey.

Thank you TOMB I'm off to the library in a mo.

Care for a slice of chocolate with that coffee? I find it helps with the sleep deprivation jitters.

Yes please! Breakfast of champions.

Hi - I would like to engage more with the FWR area in general and have decided the pub is a good place to start!

we seem to be eating cake and talking about sex...

Hi ice. I was hoping it might be a good place to start.

There is plenty other than cake going on. Though I am sitting here with my third coffee of the day and still not quite awake somehow.

I'm really interested in the Women at War programme too. I was reading the other day about Flora Sandes - have a look if you've not heard of her, she's incredibly cool, and is the only British woman to have officially fought in WWI. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flora_Sandes

the women at war programme is interesting because my sense (perhaps wrongly) is that war in itself runs counter to many feminists' principles, but there are also important discussions to be had about women's roles and 'capabilities'

Yes, that's my sense of it too.

Just listened to it. That French-Canadian woman was saying the women do the same physical tests as the men. So the question of capability shouldn't come into it. I think it's more a concern of how women would change the culture and upset the cart.

Putting men and women in shared dormitories would force them to question and address attitudes towards women. This could cause a huge amount of embarrassment as well as time and money.