OK. Please can we talk about women raping men?

[curlew]

It's a key part of the MRA agenda. Some MRA even say that men are as often victims of rape by women as women are of rape by men.

I absolutely agree that sex should always be consensual,and if a man has been forced, by either physical or psychological means into sex, then he has been raped and deserved of course to be taken seriously, and for the perpetrator to be charged and ,nif found guilty, convicted. And I know that an erection is a physiological response, and does not necessarily mean that a man actually wants to have sex.

But the MRA are full of stories of men waking up after falling asleep drunk at parties to find women on top of them. And vqriations on th them of being forced to penetrate against their will. And, it might just be my misandry showing, but really? Does this happen a lot? Is it a really serious problem that needs to be addressed, and have equivilant resources given to it?

Yes Sunshine401 I agree. The patriarchy's a cock. Stereotyped gender roles are bad for everybody.

What's MRA ?

No need MO - who needs a t-shirt when you actually live it?

The imprisonment rates are startling, but still, I think, slightly irrelevant to the OP - the female no.s will be to do with offences against children and there a lot of them are 'aiding and abetting' a male, not their own substantive contact offences.

" but it's not on to suggest some people have more dignity to lose."

No they don't have more dignity to lose. However they more often than not do not come forward because of societies views on men and women.

My DB was abused for years by his wife. He would hide it, blame himself and so on, like most other victims of abuse.
When he did leave (6 years ago) to this day he still has not reported her. Even though he is remarried, happy, knows it was wrong of her. He feels totally humiliated that he was a victim of abuse from a women.
That viewpoint is what needs to change.

oh lordy SF. I'll leave you to it.

Sunshine, I am sorry that happened to your DBro.

I think more often than not female victims don't come forward either, though the reasons for not doing so may be a bit different.

All victims of abuse feel like that though, that's the point I am making.

It is not feminists who minimise and down play abuse. It is feminists who are trying to give voices to the victims.

I am sorry for your brother it is a hard thing to live through and get over.

Couldn't agree more, lurkin.

Hopefully the tide is turning within the criminal justice system what with so many high profile cock-ups on sex offences and the yewtree stuff and so on.

What needs to change is society attitude to victims of sexual violence (ALL victims) and doing away entirely with the This is what a proper victim looks like and behaves like stuff.

I think a lot of work needs to be done in schools and at home where poss to teach all children about all sorts of issues related to sex and relationships. All children irrespective of sex or sexuality or what have you. The same rules should apply to everyone and support should be available across the board.

I don't think you'll find any feminists arguing with ideas along those lines though. So I'm not sure why it always comes up (actually I am).

I agree. It is actually mostly childhood victims who don't come forward or take the longest to come forward. Well statically speaking anyway.

bitbewlidered I am not sure why you looked at that data and concluded that men were under-reporting massively as opposed to women, rather than concluding that less women commit sex offences?

Or am I misreading your post.

I always think the crime survey figures are good because they are asking people about their actual experiences rather than conviction rates and so on which obviously have problems due to under-reporting.

The problem with saying that there are no statistics because men don't come forward is that women don't come forward either. So the figures are always the tip of the iceberg.

NiceTabard I probably wasn't clear. I didn't mention why I think women under report because it's a thread about women raping men. FWIW, I think that women don't report out of fear, mainly.

I would love to see your crime survey figures. Personally I just googled "how many women are convicted of sexual assault uk" and the ONS thing was the first thing to catch my eye as a reasonable source.

Men are more likely not to come forward/report when they have been a victim by the hands of a women. Sad but true.

Not saying men are more likely to abused by women, or more have happened. Just saying that due to societies attitudes men feel that being abused by a women is belittling to their "man status"
As a few posters have pointed out yes a lot of women also do not report abuse however that is different reasoning (still wrong) but I was just stating my point about men's actions towards abuse not women.

I think I have confused myself there sorry if it does not make sense If you understand my point well done

sunshine I think you and I mean the same thing!

Was just looking through the actually posts at the start of the thread. Many of which actually show the views I was pointing out and they are coming from women, so just image how the men must feel when women go about saying things like that. Some awful comments there.

It just doesn't get reported, I think. I would guess, wrt men, because they feel they would be ridiculed. There is plenty of evidence to suggest, certainly in the case of DV, that men are more likely to report and more quickly than women. I don't know if that is translatable into sexual abuse though.