Fucking hell, Nigella picture, WTF? [includes links to upsetting images]

[BoffinMum]

twitter.com/suttonnick/status/346017840106704898/photo/1

Tomorrow's Sunday People cover. Where do we even start with this?

[piffpoff]

Really Hopkinette? Did you really post that to Outraged or am I just getting cross eyed with tiredness?

[OutragedFromLeeds]

It's not about judging, it's about safety. She has to go home to him, if he's massively fucked off because he's been attacked in a restaurant it's going to be her that gets it. That's my point.

If she's been in an abusive relationship for years a random stranger intervening isn't going to suddenly open her eyes and she'll immediately ltb and ride off into the sunset. It doesn't work like that.

[differentnameforthis]

She doesn't look like she's screaming for help in any of them

I am no expert I admit, but perhaps that is because making a fuss would make the whole situation worse? Perhaps she is trying not to draw any (more) attention to it than absolutely necessary.

Perhaps she knows of she makes a fuss, things will worsen once at home.
I have heard of DV victims just "taking" the beatings, so they are over & done with, as to make a fuss prolongs it. She could be in survival mode.

[ZenGardener]

By the way, the last two pictures where she seems to be crying were taken at a different time as she is wearing different clothes.

[AgentZigzag]

If I saw a man with his hands round a woman's neck, in any situation, anywhere, I hope I'd not sit there thinking of all the situations/reasons how this isn't him throttling her (accepting that at the crucial moment I didn't step up to the mark when something did happen).

It would be such an immediate and instinctive response that what happened afterwards when they got home wouldn't be on the agenda.

Surely strangling someone is trying to kill them, or at least threatening they could do the deed.

Messing about with anyone's windpipe is unreasonable, the flat of his hand was on it, you don't check out glands like that you do it with the tips of your fingers dug into the sides of your neck.

But that makes me think they've misrepresented it, that the other diners didn't have that immediate response to go over and intervene.

Dunno.

[AgentZigzag]

Last post was to Outraged.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

That's exactly what I think differentnameforthis.

I do think it makes it harder for other people to intervene because it's not what they would expect perhaps, but that's not really relevant to my point.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

Agent I think you make two separate points there.

1. That he wasn't assaulting her or that it could look like he wasn't assaulting her. I'm not sure why you address this to me as I have not said that he wasn't assaulting her. Not once. My view that people should not get immediately involved is nothing to do with doubting what happened and everything to do with concern about what would happen next.
   

1. How you would deal with this situation. Firstly, no-one knows how they'd deal with it until it happens. Secondly, there is how you would instinctively deal with it. Thirdly, there is how you should deal with it. I understand that it may be instinct to immediately intervene, it just wouldn't necessarily be the best thing to do. Think (quickly) before you act.

[Panzee]

Georgianmumto5 I think the DM are deliberately dropping huge hints with their out of step captions about Nigella and the billionaire with high priced lawyers. Especially comments like inseparable.

[Episode]

Perhaps I may sound insensitive but he's got 20 odd years on her! If she lumped him one, I think he'd think twice about putting his hands on her again....

Or at 17st maybe not, but one would hope.

I hate this sort of thing or bullying of any sought. I have fond memories of the day some idiot tried this shit on me!

Lack of self esteem is a horrible thing. How, just how could you not immediately hate, try to defend yourself or at best retaliate to anybody that put their hand on you?

BUT these are my thoughts, and I fully accept that the mindset of anybody in an abusive relationship is not as simple as I'd like it to be, but by god if I was her.......

[Episode]

Here for more pictures if this hasn't been done already....

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nigella-lawson-attacked-husband-see-1955564#.UbzzyEPQa48.twitter

[OutragedFromLeeds]

Zen in the last two pictures on the mirror link where she looks like she's crying, she is wearing the same outfit.

[AlbertaCampion]

These pictures are so shocking and upsetting: is it possible to place a trigger warning in the thread title? What does one do, report?

[ZenGardener]

Oh, I see. The pictures in the Daily Mail were taken on a different day then.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I think the Daily Mail pictures are from last year zen

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I think the Daily Mail pictures are from last year zen

[k2togm1]

Hopkinette you are really having a good night tonight aren't you?

Dread to think what happens behind doors if this is what he does in public

[Rulesgirl]

Apparently she had an abusive mother who used to beat her. She has discussed this in an interview a few years ago. She has low self esteem and tries hard to please people.

[EleanorHandbasket]

God. Poor Nigella.

Hopkinette? Everything ok?

[Crumbledwalnuts]

Oh Great, terrific, well done Boffin MUm. And let's not forget it's not a feminist issue - this is for everybody to worry about. Not in the Telegraph or Guardian, just the tabloids. Hurrah for tabloid journalism.

[Fozziebearmum2b]

To me this doesn't look like the first time this has happened... And if he does this in public what goes on behind closed doors...

To those who think it might be a 'dodgy pap shot' please look at the images and your relationships. Would you ever have an innocent pic construed like this-I think not

Hope she gets the help she needs

[Wheresmycaffeinedrip]

I'm stunned. She always looked so perfect, seemed so confident. no way you would ever suspect that she was living with this or could look so sad and afraid. Scary how she looks scared but yet not surprised or shocked. :(

[Crumbledwalnuts]

Someone seems like a controlling bastard. What a creep. Metropolitan elite new man type my arse. Once she said he liked all the "strappy stuff" in bed. Yuk.

[Crumbledwalnuts]

I agree with Agent ZZ that my instant response on the next table would be "Christ what the fuck are you doing?" Not an embarrassed shifting of buttocks.

[MadBusLady]

It's not about judging, it's about safety. She has to go home to him, if he's massively fucked off because he's been attacked in a restaurant it's going to be her that gets it. That's my point.

This. I think all the well-intentioned "I'd have said something" is missing the point. Of course you do^ something, but not in a way that could endanger anyone further. What's the first piece of advice people get on DV threads - don't tell him you're leaving, he will escalate. You have no idea what kind of twisted psycho someone like this is, or what they might reason from your active intervention. It's not about you and your moral courage, it's about someone else's safety.

Hopkinette