Random men speaking to you

[enimmead]

I'm sure men don't randomly speak to other men in the street. Strangers. So why the hell do they feel they have to speak to random women. I don't think it's got anything to do with chatting up.

Yesterday, I saw a 20 something bloke with his mates slip in front of me on the ice. As I got out, he said "Hi love, did you see that!!!" I'm could be his mum bit older than him. Why speak to me? I just smiled but I bet he wouldn't' have said anything if I'd been male.

Just walking down the street, other side of the road bloke smiles and says "Hi love". No idea who he was.

Do blokes do this to other random blokes?

'Hen' isn't a mark of respect. It's dialect but not as a mark of respect.

One of the advantages of getting older is that I can talk to anyone without anything being read into it.

See now I live in't country. Way up north in the chillyness that is Scotland.
If I were walking down my road and a man going the other way didn't say hello I'd think he was odd! He would say hi aye to my dh too not just to a woman!
So maybe it depends on where you live!

kim147
"My point is that men do not seem to make a comment at random to a bloke they see in the street. Not a friendly hi or anything like that. They just walk down the street."

And yet men have come on here and said that they do talk to other men that they don't know on the street.

Where I come from you are either "darling", "love", "sweetheart", "lass" or "boy".

Some posters on here would have a field day if they ever went there.

The hen thing I agree as I said could be seen or heard even as being less than friendly, however it is all in the context abit like using the word love. Sisters and mothers I have heard saying hen to each other, as well as father to daughter.

Kim that's very interesting. Why do you think it is? Are they trying to chat you up now, are they more intimidated by men than by women, or something else?

When I went travelling alone, I struck up many many conversations with strangers on public transport, at tourist places and so on, because strangers were the only people to talk to! In those situations I thought (although have no evidence to compare it to) that being a woman worked to my advantage, because people of all genders were happy to chat back to me and didn't seem intimidated, as they might have been if randomly chatted to by a man.

In fact I have just remembered my dad would say to my sister "c'mon hen away and get yer coat on and we will get tae the miners club for the first bingo."

Well, I think one conclusion from this thread is that the geographical variation dwarfs the gender variation.

"So they do it to women because they find us less threatening?"

Mostly this ^ I think.
As a young gentleman I didn't get man hellos. During the time I had long hair and wore a leather jacket I got no hellos and people would stand on the train rather than sit next to me. The older, and possibly less threatening I get, the more casual greetings/remarks I get.

I didn't know that Kim.

Makes no difference anyway.

Long hair and leathers might be seen as a bit scary Tiggy.

Last winter, I slipped on a slight incline as the snow I was walking on (carrying a huge open box of small paint brushes, Christmas decorations and my car keys) had sheet ice underneath it.

I did a full-on comedy banana skin routine, ending up with both legs shooting out in front of me, the box heading skywards as my arms windmilled, and I landed unceremoniously bang splat on my arse, with paintbrushes raining down around me.

I scrambled to my feet as my fast as the ice and general deshabille would allow, and called out to the poor bloke shoveling his drive over the road (who I do not know from Adam) 'oh, my god. Did you see that?'

Was I in some way harassing him?

I talk to complete strangers in the street all the time. And they talk to me. Men and women.

Talking. Momentary links with strangers in an isolated world. I think it's necessary for the soul.

I've been groped in the street by a random. That was harassment. I'm dead against random gropers, me. People that talk to me? Yay. More of it, please.

madwomanintheattic.

Yup.

Slightly off topic but has anybody else noticed that women invariably smile if they catch another woman's eye but we men rarely do. It's something a female friend commented on recently and I've noticed she is right. If I do smile under those circumstances then it would be to a woman and not another man.

Likewise AllTheYoungDudes

Last time I checked, it is a chat forum, for people to chat on. No-one's forcing you to talk to me if you find me so dull.

inde, yes men expect women to be pleasing and smile an din fact often say - cheer up love if you choose not to smile. The weak smile to the powerful. There are a lot of sexism issues in the smiling thing.

Men make comments to women because they want to chat them up. I don't know how anyone on this thread can suggest it's gender neutral. It's not gender neutral at all.

Ahem
Evening all

I think you misread my post Xenia. I was not talking about men expecting women to smile. As I said I don't tend to smile to any strangers but I have noticed that my wife smiles at other women all the time. Should I be worried.

You sound like a well balanced person Esme,with a chip on both shoulders.

Henceforth i shall ignore you,as you can me.

And we'll all go about the world pretending we can't see each other.

Sounds happy doesn't it?

There is certainly a lot of feminist thought about the obligation on women to smile which is not required of men. Also it is a status thing. Everyone will smile at Prince Charles on an official visit even men.