Random men speaking to you

[enimmead]

I'm sure men don't randomly speak to other men in the street. Strangers. So why the hell do they feel they have to speak to random women. I don't think it's got anything to do with chatting up.

Yesterday, I saw a 20 something bloke with his mates slip in front of me on the ice. As I got out, he said "Hi love, did you see that!!!" I'm could be his mum bit older than him. Why speak to me? I just smiled but I bet he wouldn't' have said anything if I'd been male.

Just walking down the street, other side of the road bloke smiles and says "Hi love". No idea who he was.

Do blokes do this to other random blokes?

[amillionyears]

I would imagine that men find us women on the whole, softer than other men, less frightening.
Most men find other men, especially men larger than them, intimidating.

[WithTheDude]

So they do it to women because they find us less threatening?

Do you not see the problem with that?

[Leithlurker]

Kim several posters to this thread have said men do. I would go further and say that they should and I encourage people to talk to other people in the street, shop, pub, everywhere.

[WithTheDude]

It's normal in parts of the US for people to talk to one another in the street. The only time i've had random men speak to me in the UK in the street has been for the purpose of being rude and aggressive.

[TeiTetua]

I think HollaAtMeBaby (that name??) is saying it right:

This drives me crazy. I feel like a lot of men feel entitled to talk to/disturb/harass any woman they see. It's a subtle way of reminding us who has the power.

It's bullying, sexual harassment. Even if it stays in the limits of more or less polite communication, it's a demonstration that a woman has no right to be left alone.

On the other hand, if you meet a stranger (anyone) on a lonely mountain top, you are required to exchange a few words. In the city, no.

[superstarheartbreaker]

I don't really get what the big deal with being spoken to by men is. Normal behaviour surely?

[perplexedpirate]

Oh dear. I'm always talking to people in the street. Men, women, small children, dogs if they'll stay still long enough...
I thought I was being sociable but obviously I'm just creeping folk out. I shall cease and desist forthwith.

[piprabbit]

I've been out with DH when other men have made random comments to him. Often about sport (either based on some big current event or thinking DH supports a team or assuming the DH is South African). It's fine. DH makes a random comment back, they laugh and everyone goes on their way.
The fact that DH isn't interested in support, doesn't have a team and isn't South African has never prevented a friendly exchange.

[piprabbit]

Isn't interested in sport sorry.

[maamalady]

I speak to - and am spoken to - by men and women alike. It has never bothered me. I find I'm more likely to have someone speak to me if I'm in a good mood and smiley - people talk to people who look friendly. I was on my own chatting to some tourists in a book shop the other day (grandad, dad, and three small boys) - it was nice, not weird in the slightest.

In what universe is conversation peculiar or threatening? I don't understand the OP at all. Life is much more pleasant if you assume people are being friendly, which is almost always the case.

[amillionyears]

WithTheDude post 17.49pm.
No, I cant see the problem. You may need to elaborate.
Yes, if a man was being rude or aggressive.
But in the ops example, the man was not being rude or aggressive.

[amillionyears]

TeiTetua. You dont think that the ops example was bullying or sexual harassment do you?

[amillionyears]

Teitetua. Another question if you dont mind.
I sometimes talk randomly to men on the street, in a train, bus , shop, whereever. Would that mean I then have some power over them?

[Leithlurker]

Kim I would not use the word "love" in any form of greeting. The fact that some people not just men do this I have always seen as patronising. I acknowledge though that in parts of the uk it seems to be a very fixed part of local dialect which again both men and women employ equally. To know that it is meant as a sexist or sexual remark means assuming that this is the way it is intended every time it is used.

In Scotland we have the term "Hen" that used to be used a lot and in fact can still be found in some places as a form of address of exclusively females. In fact one of our most cherished Scottish icons, the "Sunday Post" has a cartoon strip that still uses the phrase. I would imagine this would drive most women wild, and I never use it for that reason. But it is an example of local dialect that could be argued as nothing more than a respectful way of addressing someone. www.dsl.ac.uk/

[AllTheYoungDudes]

Jeez,are you lot still arguing about a guy who slipped on the fucking ice.

I would have laughed out load.

The young man was not being a sexist twat,just making a jokey aside to a passing person.

Say hello to the next person you pass in the street,you may make their day.

[AllTheYoungDudes]

And so fucking what if someone says 'hi love'.

Just so what.

At least they're being friendly.

Talk about making the world a miserable place.

[FromEsme]

And I suppose your wee rant there has made the world a LESS miserable place, eh?

[AllTheYoungDudes]

Bore on Esme.

You've been at it all day.

[exoticfruits]

It is a wonder some people dare open their mouths! A bit of friendly banter cheers up the day.

[AllTheYoungDudes]

Kim,i say hello to men and women if i pass them in the street,not in a busy street,but on the street no less.
Maybe if you said hello to passers by then they would be friendly back to others if not to you personally.