Women subsumed into their children

[Xenia]

We certainly must guard against woman as only mother and nothing else

www.ft.com/cms/s/2/0bf95f3c-f234-11e1-bba3-00144feabdc0.html#axzz25Ieiea9E

My twitter photograph is my business photograph, I just checked. My island seems to come up when I go on twitter so I assumed those following me see it but I might even be wrong about that.

Anyway gosh islands cost not much. One of my progency is buying a first flat at present and that one bed flat costs more than the island did. It is just something I always wanted.

Earlier in the thread I read this

"And the article criticising men for their facebook photo choices is where? Oh of course, there isn't one because this is just about finding a particularly dull and tedious stick to beat women with, isn't it?"

Very disappointing article.

It's progeny not progency! lawyers huh.

As well as implying that women who don't have another job alongside the very demanding one of being a mother are somehow inferior, I also find references on this thread to women who do have another job as earning "pin money" extremely offensive. This implies that their efforts are equally inferior and, really, rather frivolous and comical when, in fact, in most cases they are a vital part of the family budget.

Well paid high flyers, well done, but you are not the only women with identities or a valid contribution to either society or your families.

This all brings up an interesting question.

What defines a person?

I believe if we all answered, we'd all have totally different ideas.

I think being defined by your job has always been awfully boring rubyrubyruby But good if you can include it in a conversation with some interest and pride.

I do have paid employment as a pre-school practitioner, but experience my main role as raising my two children. However my work with young children and their families makes a contribution to raising the next generation at a crucial stage in their development, supports families and communities, and also makes an important contribution to our family budget.

I do find it quite hard to talk about my work/ family balance in ways that truly reflect the experience and what is important to me. Something that it seems quite a battle to be assertive about ?

BTW - and why is it "pin money" ?

< mental pictures of little old ladies darning by candlelight in a rocking chair, having acquired necessary pins >

Or do they earn their pennies from selling the pins ?

Definitely lurking

Just a reminder, we are talking about one image on a not particularly important site. What single image could you use that wouldn't be a one dimensional view of you? Can anyone think of a single image that defines them?

If you choose a picture of your child, does that mean you life is all about that child?
If you choose a photo of a pet, does that mean they are your whole life?
How about a photo from your holiday? Is the rest of your life worthless?
A cartoon picture? That somehow your entire life revolves around a cartoon?
If it's a picture of you and a partner, does that mean you only think of yourself in terms of that relationship?
You and a friend or friends? That they are the only important people in your life?
Even a picture of yourself (if we are going to be so daft as to use a solitary facebook image as a barometer for you), maybe that suggests you are a narcissistic, vain, egomaniac who only ever thinks of themselves?

Maybe, just maybe, it's a single bloody picture not a Rorschach test.

I completely agree Empusa, although a picture may say a thousand words, no human being can be described in a mere thousand words.

Empusa says it soooo much better than I

Joins in the Empusa worship.

Haven't read all the thread, but the article is a pile of shoite, tossed off in 30 seconds and says nothing interesting at all. There IS an interesting conversation to be had about women who subsume themselves into their children, but this ain't it.

Also, as someone who absolutely loves her work, but because her children have SN has found her career severely curtailed, with long periods of caring - because there really is no one else who can do that better than me ( I wish there were) - am I SUBSUMED into my children, or am I just doing my job to raise them? I would love not to be SUBSUMED but that would mean having a live-in nurse and psychiatric nurse. Which probably costs as much as an island.

However, on the other side, I can't understand friends who don't have their own email account but have a merged one with their partners. WTF?

Well said, wicker. I hate that as well and I'd never send anything other than a "we'll be at yours at 4pm" email to such an account - it's too weird not to know who you're "talking" to.

About the merged email accounts wickerman - it might just be people not being very confident with technology. We all share the one account ( with DH and the DC's) as DH set it up. It's name is just based on our surname and I did ask DH to change the names that come up to include us both as was originally just his name on it - which he did.
I think I do raise an eyebrow slightly at people using an email account that is completely in their DH's name, but it's probably again just that they're not that comfortable with technology and their DH's aren't that considerate
New thread possibility ?

Something else that struck me on rereading the thread, all those saying that profile pictures are avatars and therefore traditionally images of yourself. Things do evolve and change. Also when I started using the internet years ago people were using avatars that (shock, horror) weren't them, it's not a new phenomena.

Juggling, I'd happily teach you to set up your own email account, takes 5 seconds.
And I don't believe you are that afraid of tech. You are, after all, on an internet forum.

scottishmummy,from what I can remember you have 1 child,and no that is not then difficult to be a mum.And because you have called yourself scottishmummy,and you talked about fertility,my guess is you were unable to have more children,and that is sad.But that does not make you,or any other women who have fertility problems any less of a woman.
I would hope no woman or man would think that.I have certainly never heard it,so perhaps it is more what the actual woman thinks,rather than what society as a whole is really thinking.

I don't know about that amillion. Childless women are very much judged, especially if they're childless by choice.

I'm only 20, I will face fertility issues and I've already had gut wrenching comments made to me. I do think it is a society thing, otherwise why would I be getting cruel comments while lying in a hospital bed for pain relief; comments brought up of their own volition that weren't actually related to the medical treatment I was receiving at the time?

I completely agree that women who only have an email address in their partner's name is much more annoying than FB pics of children. But again, not my business and I would not read too much in to that either.

Thats awful Lurking.Sad about your fertililty issues,and sad about the comments you had.
The person I knew who was childless by choice,regularly brought the subject up,but none of her work colleagues were remotely bothered.We all felt it was absolutely her personal choice.

Should also have said there was an equal number of men and women,and I never in the years that I was there,ever heard a comment said behind the woman's back to the contrary.

I'm envious aminniol..Sounds like you're surrounded my enlightened people! :)

I'm 20 FFS, I think about my infertility a lot (why I originally joined this site, to lurk in TTC and Infertility to hear stories and prepare myself for 'what may be') but I'll repeat, I'm 20! I can't believe how many people/nurses/ex boyfriends, Hell, even 'friends' come out with shocking comments. Some of them downright disgusting that I refuse to repeat.