Should it be illegal for men to pay for prostitution?

[EatsBrainsAndLeaves]

Should we criminalise all men who pay for prostitution, alongside help for women to leave prostituion?

mrs Lollygag is not a prostitute but if I've done something wrong she makes me sleep in the spare room and makes it clear I'm not to 'visit' her in the night!

Yes, views won't change. It is not likely men or women will be banned from paying for sex so I don't think any change is likely. I will however work hard to ensure housewives are abolished and women seize all positions of power in the UK and instead of owning 1% of the world's wealth perhaps own 99%. In my lifetime?

(A not unfamiliar stance - sex as weapon or reward within some marriages and usually that way round)

I think the very fact that despite being aware of this post, working girls aren't posting is because this isn't a debate, rather someone looking for everyone else to affirm what they believe to be right.

Avaboos - brilliant post. You know though that you won't be able to have your own opinion on it? People will come and tell to how oppressed you are and hw you're doing no good FOR WOMANKIND.

Goldship -
I get that impression already as per some of my previous posts.
It's very frustrating when we have any army of do gooders fighting about an issue when the ones they are supposedly fighting fors opinions don't count.

If it's seen as acceptable for men to pay for sex and treat women as objects, do you really think this only affects the women who sell sex? Do you think that attitude towards women is strictly confined to how those men view prostitutes rather than women in general?

interestedpunter

I'm sorry I have no sympathy for you after your last post. I was under the impression that you paid for sex because your 'beautiful' wife stopped wanting it and you were driven to seeing prostitutes.

However, you have long, long meetings with escorts, overnights in hotels by the sound of it. So that isn't a man satisfiying his 'needs', its a man on a paid date. Unbelievable. It backs myu theory that your wife denying you a sex life has given you a great opportunity To fulfil some fantasies. Also a chance to have sex with women you would never pull in real life if you were single. I'd bet my life they are much younger too.

As for telling your children. Although they may possibly sympathise that your marriage had lost its intimacyi doubt they would sympathise that your solution was not just to pay for sex but also have long leisurely meetings!

The fact that your dad paid for sex speaks volumes too. I thank god that I have a decent partner.

Xenia you talk shit. Perhaps some women use sex as a bargaining too. For most women sex is something that they enjoy too and their partners provide financially because they can, not in exchange for sex. Do you honestly think that is the way couples work??

And unfortunately the views of the women who are abused and trafficked, the ones who do it out of desperation and can see no way out are not taken seriously on this thread. They are dismissed as a tiny minority (probably not the case) who need help- but no help is forthcoming, or not enough anyway.

Women as sex objects and commodities in society is surely something that affects all womankind.

Narked

As I said in a previous post I do not believe that prostitution is solely to blame as to why some men view women as sex objects.
We live in a world where perhaps women are portrayed as sex objects in a great number of genres.
And the issue of how men portray women is not just a product of modern society, you need to perhaps look back over 1000's of years.

Feminism (generally) will try to tackle all causes of objectification of women.

I think there are a good few pro-prostitute views on this thread. Some women may not like it that some women earn money this way just as I abhor housewives but that does not mean others share the same view and I doubt I will get housewifery abolished on moral grounds in my lifetime.

Having read this thread, I still haven't heard one arguement that sways me to think that buying sex should be criminalised.

Surely woman forced into the sex trade should be treated separately from prostitutes as they are not prostitutes. They are victims of crime. As a victim of a sex attack, my attacker gave me money beforehand (i thought to buy a round of drinks, he obviously thought this money was buying him a right to my body). Id be pretty pissed off if the general consensus was that I was prostituting myself. Imo a prostitute is someone who chooses of her own free (as in she is not forced by anyone else) will to sell her body. Therefore if you really want to eradicate the sex slavery trade then surely its best to focus on the criminals running the traffic rings etc? At the moment i dont see criminalising the buying of sex putting off the criminal minds behind these abhorrent crimes.

I am also a bit dismayed at how some of the feminists on this board view 'bonafide' prostitutes. I get the impression you look at them as 2nd class citiziens. 'Would you be happy if your dd were to do this?' is irrelevant, I bet ya there are all plenty of mners who wouldnt want their dd's to grow up and be cleaners or tesco bag packers, does that mean that these are jobs to be ashamed of and these jobs are wrong too? I accept that some men think like this as they are mysoginists but aren't feminists supposed to champion a womans right to individual autonomy.

I would agree that prostitution is exploitative, but not any more than most of the other low paid jobs out there.

Well you always campaign for the banning of marriage unless both partners have a job, Xenia - but I can't really see that gaining much momentum.

I can't see it gaining much momentum either- some women find bringing up their own children far more interesting and fulfilling than any paid employment. I would pay a lot of money not to do some dire job like head of BP - it would kill any pleasure in my life. I also don't see marriage as a 'bargain' - you don't actually have to get married!

Carmen, I am confused that you seem to think that "long, leisurely" meetings with a prostitute are somehow "worse" than a £40, 15 minute quickie in a Soho walkup. Surely in the former case, it would be much harder for the client/punter to maintain his objectification of the prostitute?

Oldlady- it was in response to interestedpunter's post that he often makes 10 hour bookings.

Oh, and that he's deceiving his 'beautiful wife' in the meantime- I expect she thinks he's away on business or whatever.

Interestedpunter never came back and said whether it was an OK career for his DD or whether it was just OK for other people's DDs -(I suspect his DD was superior and it is just OK for him to treat other people's DDs as sex objects.)

I suppose with a long booking like that, there is also the taking away of emotional energy from a relationship. That's a helluva lot of wining, dining and 'romancing' that the wife isn't getting. Then there's the dent in family finances - how much does a 10 hour booking cost?

I am sure most men want 10 hours but camn#'t afford it. Most men I would imagine want to talk to and like someone, have dinner and then get on with it. It does not affect the issue. I'm a feminist who would not ban men or women who want to pay for sex.

I was not saying we should make it illegal for a housewife to be kept but it's the same thing - she provides sex, looks good and in fact in some ways has a worse deal she has to clean up after him and put up with snoring and mind and bear his children in return for his money.

Xenia you have such a twisted view of marriage!

Xenia it isn't the same thing.

Do you really truly not grasp that some people are in jobs that do not pay enough to cover child care or to save enough to cover the most expensive child care years and therefore one partner becomes a SAHP. I'd say it was rarely marriage that led to housewifery, more parenthood.

Yes there might be a few people, mostly women as there are more "wealthy old men" who have married just for money - Anna Nicole Smith, perhaps, though I think she had a good living from modelling beforehand. But to say that all housewives are therefore immoral and providing sex for money is just crackers.

Not at all. Plenty 9of couples both pull their weight. We are fairly soon going to be in a position in the UK where women tend to earn more than their husbands. The idea that richer man married pretty low earning woman and keeps her for life as long as she provides sex and domestic services is thankfully dying out but see many many other mumsnet threads about straying men and their secretaries and you know what goes on so very often particularly where women are economically powerless.

The fact women often become the stay at home partner is because of this prostiution point. If woman on £100k marries minimym wage man she does not stay at home. Instead women marry for the wallet and because the husband earns more the woman gives up work. Where the woman earns a lot more then yes I agree she does not tend to give up work.

Xenia was that in answer to my post? Because it didn't actually answer it.

What is a couple supposed to do when they are financially worse off when both partners work and they have not got savings to cover the excess costs of child care during the 0-5 years?