interesting perspective on abortion

[solidgoldbrass]

here
(I'm going to bed in a minute so will have to contineu any discussion in the morning)
I've occaisonally said, because I do believe, that if abortion had not been illegal when I was conceived I probably wouldn't have been born. And I don't think it would have been such a bad thing if I hadn't - I would understand why my biomother chose to terminate her pregnancy. it's not that I don't want to be alive; I was adopted and brought up by my lovely parents and I have a nice life. But it might have been better for her to abort and get on with her life.

Yes I must sleep too. But did you meet her? Where do you get the idea that she would have been better off aborting you?

There are many assumptions there, of how the Mother's life would have turned out if she had had an abortion, sounds a bit fairy tale to me.

What tallwiv said. Did you ever actually meet your biomother? If not, how are you to know she would have been better off aborting you?!!

The only person I know who gave her child up for adoption got a lot of peace from knowing that her child had gone to a family who loved and adored them, in a way she didn't feel she could. In retrospect, she realised she COULD have offered them the same love (she gave him up in the 60's), she just didn't have any way of actually doing it.

That is interesting, SGB. I don't see how "not minding" if your (generic you) mother had had an abortion is qualitatively different from being pleased that your parents had sex on a particular day and that therefore you are a combination of sperm and egg that would have been different next day/week/month and that would have made you a different person.

Lisaro, I have never found SGB bitter towards all males.

lisaro Where did you get that SGB is bitter & hates males? I must have missed that in the opening post.

Other than that all I have to add really is wtaf was Gordon talking about?
Sorry, that kind of eclipsed the rest of the article for me.

It's quite simplistic to say that the journalist's mother would have had a better life if she'd aborted, but equally so couldn't you say she was so traumatised by the abortion she turned to drugs/alcohol etc & ended up dead. We just don't really know how things would have turned out if we'd made different choices.

I'm pro-choice all the way. Luckily not had to make that decision myself.

The truth of the matter is that if a woman chooses to have an abortion, the potential child she is carrying has no awareness of that potential, so it makes no difference to it. But it makes a works of difference to the woman with a problematic pregnancy. For some abortion is the best choice. For others adoption- although this option, whatever the "pro life" organisations tell you is not without its downside- and for another group, having and keeping the baby however impossible the circumstances.

One important thing to remember is that all of these options may have unexpected psychological and physical impact on the woman. Some organisations highlight the difficulties a minority of women have after abortion while presenting the other options as easier. This is not the case.

leMarchand I was thinking the same thing but wasn't sure if anyone would have a clue what I was on about!

Interesting article. The author must carry a lot of scars from her childhood, I think. So despite her apparent altruistic wish that her mother had been happier, I would say that she rather wishes she hadn't had to endure such a godawful childhood.
Well written though.

My mother had an intersting perspective on abortion too, quite unexpectedly. She is in her 70s and it seems a lot of her firends are making up the balance of their lives.

And even though she is pro choice, and has always been a feminist (even back in the 50s and 60s), she said it surprised and saddened her to see that all the women that had abortions now, in their 70s, were very regretful and sad about that. Even if they were sure it was the right decision at the time. Doubt crept in around 60, and regret around 70. It actually changed her view on abortion!

food for thought too, just as this article.

Yes, I read this.

It makes a lot of sense to me.

The author doesn't say I would have been better off, it just says that her mother would have been better off, and from the sounds of things it's probably true.

To some extent the author's awful childhood is a red herring.

Even if she'd had a perfectly average childhood, it could still be that it would have been better for her mother to have had an abortion.

Interestnig article, shame SGB has had some nastiness from a very strange little individual.
Going back and sayiing it would have been better for me not to have been born is understandable to some extent. And if you hadn't been born you wouldn't miss anything. So all that is being considered is the effect on the mother.

I agree, Trills and Stealth. If my mother had had an abortion, she would have terminated her pregnancy, not terminated me. I had a fair-to-middling childhood and I am saying that dispassionately - I believe the author here is being quite objective, knowing and assessing her mother as an individual.

If someone came on MN and explained they were young, had been coerced into sex, had a drinking problem, what should they do about their pregnancy, I think that abortion (along with counselling) would be raised as an option by a fair few posters.

Of course, some of the author's mother's problems wouldn't have vanished by her having an abortion, even if it had given her more opportunity to work on them. We and she will never know, but the speculation is reasonable.

I considered reporting it but thought it was probably better to leave it there to show that lisaro is the sort of person who comes onto a thread and attacks the OP on an issue completely unconnected to what the thread is about. It might be something worth knowing.

Yes and I think Sgb can take it, she's never struck me as the sort to get upset by words on a screen.

SGM, I so love the word nincompoop.

I haven't read the article yet and I know SGB has better things to do than fret about daft comments on the net, but what bollocks lisaro!

To be earthy about it, I sincerely doubt anyone as confident in herself as SGB would be so enthusiastic and positive about sex with men if she didn't actually like them. How could you not notice that one?!

Sorry, SGB, off to read now.

I've noticed lisaro writing some very odd things recently, but was under the impression she's been round for a while

I thought that article was interesting and I found it convincing. I really don't like the idea of someone whose mother did not abort himself to a Holocaust survivor, or using the same rhetoric. That is really low.

I thought she'd been around a while but hadn't noticed the name here before.

Oh, some people confuse criticism of male privilege with man-hating, it's a useful stupidity-indicator.
Anyway...