'Tragic Family Situation' - murder of children, apparently by their father.

[Northernlurker]

There is a horrible case in the news today. A father and three children disappeared from the home. Today the children were found stabbed and the father appears to thrown himself off a nearby quarry edge.
The police have confirmed they aren't looking for anyone else and one officer commented ''It appears to be a tragic family situation.' Now I have a problem with that description.

What's tragic about this is that three children have been robbed of their lives. It appears that the person who should love and cherish them has planned their removal from the home and then killed them. This isn't an accident. There is nothing inevitable about this crime. It occurred as a result of one person's actions and choices and it's not a 'family situation' at all. It seems to me that describing it as such detracts from the true violence of the situation. The police describe it as a muder investigation. Why not leave it at that? Why the need to soften it?

Agree with GOIL, SGB and northern entirely. This is a discussion about the particular slant taken on reporting the murder of children by their father and the way his crime is being 'softened' in the way it's presented to the public. There is no time period that would suddenly make this a tasteful subject of discussion (I notcice nobody has suggested one...) The Moors Murders will always be an awful subject to discuss. The wish not to really look at these events is also a barrier to discussing how to prevent them in future. Nothing we say here can remotely compare with the murder of someone's own children - yet you would think, from some posts, they are comparable.

The "good man driven to it" discourse simply reinforces the view that the blame lies elsewhere. Now as a feminist I might want to locate the blame on patriarchy, and the fact that men are raised in a society where they can absorb the belief that they have have the right to do this. I might want to locate the blame on an individual man for actually doing it. Where I will not locate the blame is on the children's mother for anything she might have done or said. This discussion is primarily about the discourse around these kinds of murder, and why they are not, for example, generally reported as 'Murders' - while a similar killing by a stranger would be.

Perhaps someone could, very arguably, be driven to suicide ...

but stabbing all 3 of their children to death ... I don't think so

I think it's certainly okay to talk about the phenomenon of "family annihilators" as well as how the media tends to report such incidents since the recent case prompted this. I don't see any real problem with discussing information about specific, even current cases, particularly where it is in the public domain (and not just rumour/speculation.) Whether or not a handful of people discuss the recent case on this message board, I doubt it will have much impact on the grief of the mother or anyone else close to the family.

A man takes his children away from their home and murders them and it's talking about the language used to describe the crime that is the most offensive and horrifying thing people have seen?
How hard some people fight against an understanding of male violence and power.

This thread is not like the almost prurient threads about the Philpotts, where people were saying nonsense like 'ooh I knew they were guilty, she wasn't crying at the press conference' etc.

I think most people on here are talking about the language used to report these murders, and the slant often given to men who kill their children in this way, and how there seems to be a certain lack of sympathy for the mother. It is an important discussion to have I think.

The whole 'good man driven to it' is revolting. I agree with SBG - anyone who does something like this emphatically was not a good man in the first place.

No one's been convicted of anything yet re the Philpotts, have they? I think I read that two or three more people have been charged which makes it sound even stranger.

I don't think it has gone to trial, no, and also didn't know about the extra people. Bloody hell.