Can someone help me articulate why this is wrong?

[scentednappyhag]

This is my first time posting on this board, so forgive me if I don't phrase this well.

DH and I were having a discussion earlier about rape myths, and while he agrees with me that rape is ALWAYS the rapists fault, we disagreed on two points that have really been playing on my mind all day.

1- that lots of cases are women lying, and in court, the onus should be on the woman to prove she was raped, rather than the man to prove he did not rape.
And 2- that if a woman is in a pub/club and wearing a mini skirt and low cut too, saying 'she's well up for it' is not unacceptable as long as you don't rape her.

I couldn't quite get him to understand why I think these attitudes are wrong, I couldn't find the words to put it across. He now feels upset that i'm disappointed in his attitude as he doesn't understand what he's said wrong.

Can anyone help?

Well, quite. Women do sometimes go out with the intention of finding a sexual partner. That's fine. I've done it loads of times. Women do like sex.

However, a woman looking for sex is under no obligation to have sex with any man who asks: this is the part that some (even some otherwise nice) men seem to have a problem with. 'I want to find someone to have sex with, but I don't want to have sex with you' seems to boggle them completely.

It may well be that a short-skirted cleavage-showing woman has dressed in such a way to attract a man, yes, but for a romantic relationship rather than sex and a one-night stand there and then.

I mean we are taught after all that this is how to catch a man's eye. Or am I just being a hopeless romantic?!