Why women should respect men.

[craziemazie]

"There is a disease spreading across America like a cancer. It?s infecting our lives, our churches, our homes. It?s an illness that is creeping in subtly with symptoms that seem harmless and innocent at first but if not treated quickly and aggressively will lead to much destruction and loss.

The blatant disrespect of men. It?s tearing apart out homes and our families. God ordained the authority of husbands and fathers and He put a deep desire in every man to feel respected. When we dishonor our authorities and belittle men in general it destroys our relationships and undermines the plan God laid out for Biblical roles."

"God built within women the deep desire to be cared for and treasured by men but especially by their husbands. Likewise God designed men to long for the respect of women, especially their wives. We find ourselves feeling the most fulfilled when we are operating within the roles God has given us because they compliment the desires He has gifted us with."

stayathomedaughter.com/

I don't get why (if men are so powerful and designed to be in charge) such an emphasis is placed on the woman changing her behaviour. Surely a true leader could handle a strong woman.

I wonder how popular the views of that blog are. In America and over here. Seems to be a religious thing.

craziemazie As I said on the other thread you posted this on. This is one of the most vomit-inducing blogs I've ever seen. Only in America... and only religious nutters.

You could possibly understand some men holding that view (because it suits them to be fawned over) but for a woman? Has she had her brain surgically removed? Is she suffering Stockholm syndrome? Has she been conditioned from birth and is genuinely unable to see the world around her despite the majority of the females in America being brought up in the same environment and not holding those views? And then I thought..perhaps there are genuinely women who hold this view because, in essence, it absolves them of all responsibility for their actions and allows them to faff around acting like faux children never having to think for themselves.

Just when you think the world is beginning to become sane about women - some idiot like this starts feeding the prejudices of the unreconstructed, all over again.

You posted two threads on this?

"Seems to be a religious thing" No shit Sherlock. Sorry but not every religion condones this view and not everyone who is religious thinks this way. This is an American evangelistic approach and the sentiments it contains is quite pertinent to American culture which has a much more conversative Christian ethos than in the UK. It's just a way of men justifying their sexist attitudes towards women and in the worst case, it justifies domestic violence.

There is every evidence to state that women played a central role in religion until man came along and not only selected certain biblical texts to pander to their own views, but also omitted certain books of the Bible and demoted women. For instance there is every evidence that Mary Magadalen wrote her own gospel and in fact she was lied about in the church as being a prostitute when there was not a shred of evidence to claim that she was.

I blame the idiots who spout this crap and the other idiots who believe it without question.

grimbletart I can see the benefits for the men - wife who lives to serve and boost his ego - but don't see what the women get out of it. It is like giving up all your own goals, ideas and ambitions to support his - without any support from him for yours.

TheRhubarb I posted this thread and then a comment in another thread which it was relevant to.

Clearly not every religion condones or promotes these views. It does seem to be getting more popular / more accepted. Less of a fringe thing.

I hadn't thought of the domestic violence side - being sheltered and then having no job / money / confidence would make it extremely hard to leave an abusive marriage - especially when the wife wasn't used to making any decisions or having her own opinions.

It does seem to be getting more popular / more accepted. Less of a fringe thing.

is it really, or is it just that the internet provides a platform for idiots to spout nonsense?

Maybe. I have heard from friends in America that some churches are more accepting of it. One was telling me about a new pastor that started and is really influencing the congregation.

LOL

Poor American women though.

US christian fundamentalists are every bit as bad as Muslim fundamentalists in places like Afghanistan.

"seems to be a religious thing" err, no, it seems to be crazy extremist thing!

Of course i respect my partner, the same as he respects me. Its mentalness - id discount it as buncum

As an American, I have never met anyone like this, although admittedly I'm originally from a liberal Midwestern state.

I suspect this kind of thing is more likely down in the South.

I live in the South, and I've never met anyone like this either.

Hah! Is my initial reaction...

More seriously, though, what the women get out of it is probably the same as the "surrendered wives" shit. IMO nothing but some women seem to have been brainwashed feel this is good way to live.

Do we have to respect their choices? I can't although, to be fair, I haven't really tried.

People can post whatever they want on the internet. It doesn't mean that what they post is a mainstream opinion or in any way reflective of the group of people they claim to be part of or represent.

These are the views of my parents. I was brought up by parents who based their lives on this shit while bringing up children to believe the same. OK, this was the 1960s and 70s but the scary thing is that they clearly haven't changed their minds about this. I still get comments telling me how I should behave in my (2nd) marriage for example that bears this out.

I left home at 18, was 'forced' back home by circumstances and so got married at 20 as a means of permanent escape (as I saw it at the time). I think I was so brainwashed that I even 'chose' to take the marriage vow to obey. My parents ignored the bruises on my arms. I suppose my mother had to or she would have been forced to face up to her own situation. Both of my sisters have been on the receiving end of DV too. One of them was in A&E having her eye stitched. My mother sat outside chatting with sister's husband. She knew why they were there.

I don't want to go into my own situation too much now but the edited highlights show that TheRhubarb comment about DV is indeed correct in my experience anyway.

Oh, and this is in the UK, my parents still go to the same evangelical C of E church. Surely we can't be the only family...

You get all sort of nutters posting, I have read plenty. Just ignore, they are a small minority, people ignore in RL so they have their say to a wider audience.

In a wider audience they will always pick up a few fellow nutters.

I would say that because this kind of thing is becoming less acceptable by the majority (including many who have a faith) those who are left behind are getting more vocal because they feel under threat.

Yes - the first line of the OPs quote shows its a reaction to a perceived 'disease'.

Odd how these people see 'blatant disrespect' of men in the homes (presumably of people they know) and their churches. I simply don't see that phenomenon. Maybe the men I associate are the sort of people who - exactly the same as women - have my respect because they deserve it not arbitrarily because of their gender, and certainly not because they have some sense of entitlement, that its their 'god given right'.

I watched a documentary where the family involved had this sort of attitude. The young wife stayed at home with the daughter and was very much of the opinion that her role was to serve her husband. She was passing that attitude on to her daughter too. Her husband seemed nice enough (though it's hard to tell of course) but hearing the woman talk it was very clear that she had zero confidence and was happy to be subservient because it prevented her from actually having to think for herself. Unfortunately I think women who were abused in childhood are much more likely to end up in that type of marriage. A lot of non-fundamentalist couples are in this situation - it's got nothing to do with religion and everything to do with the (usually male) partner controlling the other partner. It's basically an abusive situation that the woman has openly accepted. Giving one person almost total control over your life can never ever be a good thing.

Christian from Australia here.

I Respect man just fine - As long as Man Respects ME !

This site is actually pretty funny. In particular I love the respect survey. Somehow I doubt she has a background in statistics

I completely agree that the most sad and disturbing thing about all this is the women who seem to have been indoctrinated so firmly into these ideas that they are unable to see how prejudiced they are. I've been having exactly the same #facehand reaction every time I see coverage of Republican candidates in the US recently - when they stand there spouting this stuff about decreasing abortion rights etc and women's place being in the home and these ladies just stand there smiling inanely and nodding along. The best example of it I've seen lately is this appalling video ACTUALLY happened on Fox News (I know it's universally derided but it is still massively mainstream, which makes this so depressing). mediamatters.org/blog/201204240025 It's not only the fact that he acutally says "women have all the rights...they can shop", but also the 'mmm hmm' you hear from the woman on his right and the way they keep on smiling and don't interrupt or protest. It's terrifying!

this is all about God? A fictional character, Pfftt

It really is scary that people still think like this.

And whilst I mylself am an Athiest, I have met many a religious person who does not believe this archaic crap. It's just a bunch of thugs using another weapon to downtred someone. Realistically, it has nothing to do with religion. There are people this Abhorrent who are atheistic as well. The difference is that those who believe in the religion they are using believe what they are told and are easily targetted by the attitude. Especially those poor souls who have been raised on it.

LOL

Craxie, you in the wrong site. Why don't you go to some American far right, extremist Christian or Muslim site to discuss this.

I can only laugh at you're saying, not going to spend energy or brain matter to argue with animals.

wildeyedandhairy It is harder to imagine it happening in England somehow. Not sure why maybe because America seems more extreme in many ways.

cailindana I wonder what the children being brought up in families like that think. Or if they just accept it. I guess if you are brought up to believe something is normal and right and that the whole world is immoral then it would feel safer to stay at home in those beliefs. The wider world must seem a scary place.

richman The author of the blog seems so committed to her beliefs. Not sure how a survey of 20 can show much though!

laurawriter Women have rights because they can shop?? Sounds scary and 50s.

perfectmadness No idea what you are on about.

There seems to be an awful lot of blogs like this about at the moment. Women Living Well is another huge one. I remember seeing all sorts of videos on her site about submission and stuff.

Perhaps one of the reasons we are seeing more blogs along this line and more people opting for "fundamentalist" strands of faith is the difficult economic climate we're in. With rose coloured glasses firmly on, people often believe that people were more content in the "good old days" when people observed traditional and less materialistic values. They then turn to fundamentalist churches in the belief that they will feel happier and more content if they recapture the "simple way of life" on offer.

The problem is that as with many fundamentalist interpretations of faith, the "rules" tend to justify giving power and control to men with the expectation that women will be serve and obey them. It's based on a selective interpretation of the Bible this.

I have seen threads in Relationships from women in just such circumstances - they submit to their husbands because that is what they are "supposed" to do, but when he doesn't hold up his end of the bargain by submitting to God or respecting and cherishing her as Christ cared for the church, there isn't much she can do. Often she'll just be told to pray harder and submit more fully so he will change, which can be very dangerous. If a woman truly believes this is what she must do though, it can be difficult to persuade her otherwise.

Then you get other women like the author of this blog who preach how wonderful submission is and refuse to engage with the idea of any alternatives.