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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Dennis Waterman

71 replies

GeekCool · 20/03/2012 09:16

Argh! Just ARGH!

How can you feel ashamed if you still blame your victim? Or more importantly women as a whole?

?The problem with strong, intelligent women is that they can argue, well. And if there is a time where you can?t get a word in ... and I ... I lashed out. I couldn?t end the argument.

What the actual fuck? Is that his DEFENSE? Because Rula Lenska has a brain and he couldn't win an argument it's OK for her to be hit?

and this peach here:

?I?d never done it before or since. But if a woman is determined to put you down, and if you?re not bright enough to do it with words, it can happen, and it did happen in my case.?

So it's the evil woman with a brain who is at fault. For being hit. Nice guy.

OP posts:
ElephantsAreMadeOfElements · 02/04/2012 17:32

and Demons and Cranford, carer.

TrophyEyes · 02/04/2012 17:33

Kingdom of Heaven was quite a big one, too, I'd say...

StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2012 17:34

What's Philip Glensiter got to do with this? Confused

carernotasaint · 02/04/2012 17:36

I knew there was 2 i forgot thanks elephants.Ive got a brill idea for New Tricks. Bin Waterman and replace him with Phils older brother Robert. robert was fab as a copper in Appropriate Adult (the Fred and Rose West drama on itv last year. Just a thought for you there BBC!

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 02/04/2012 17:39

SPB, see carer's post of 22 March, followed by klonkill's swift rebuttal issued, erm, today at 17.07.

StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2012 17:57

oh I had read all that but now I've re read it makes more sense, thanks :)

carernotasaint · 02/04/2012 18:03

The reason i made the points i did is cos there are plenty of better actors out there who could easily replace DW. Prob why his agent has contributed to this thread kronkill!

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 02/04/2012 18:07

My thoughts exactly carer :)

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 02/04/2012 18:09

Fab blog:

www.abccopywriting.com/blog/2012/03/20/dennis-waterman-pathetic-passives/

MoChan · 03/04/2012 09:52

Laughing at the implication by Klonhill that the posters here are only interested in this because of the celebrity element and that they are all just gossips who want to take a bash at a high profile person. Given that this is in the feminist section where regular posters take this issue very seriously, and discuss it SOBERLY regularly and from all sort of angles, it's not surprising that they would want to comment on this.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 03/04/2012 10:30

Agreed, MoChan. I also can't see anything wrong with mocking someone who has admitted to smacking their wife around.

Homer29 · 14/05/2012 01:38

Did you people actually listen to the interview? At no time did he blame Rula Lenska. What he admitted was that he wasn't clever enough to stand up to her in an argument, and he hit her, What's more, he said he was deeply ashamed of having done so. That is not remotely near saying that it was her fault for being too clever.

But then Mumsnet never lets the truth get in the way of a good kicking of a man who's down, does it?

kickassangel · 14/05/2012 03:32

That blog is fabulous - I wish I could make my arguments as cogently as that! Both the subject matter and the grammatical impact are very well put together.

Here's my take: Self defense is the only legitimate reason to physically hit someone, and even that needs to be looked at very closely. (If x is coming at y with a knife, y can hit x with a frying pan. If x is trying to steal money and has a baseball bat, y is not justified in shooting x)

Yes, verbal, emotional abuse are just as damaging as physical. It isn't just the form of the abuse, but, THE FACT THAT SOMEONE IS TREATING YOU AS A POSSESSION THAT THEY CAN CONTROL that is the main problem. Whatever means they have, it is the same message: the abuser is de-humanising the abused.

From the outside we'll never know whether one of these two was attempting to control and manipulate the other.

BUT, just because you don't 'win' an argument, does not justify any form of abuse. ever.

Even if the other person is clearly twisting facts and lying, you don't have the right to abuse them. Worst case scenario - shut up & get out, if it's a big deal argument or they always treat you like this.

Unless they are holding a knife while shouting at you very loudly; then you may want to reach for the frying pan as you head for the door.

FrothyDragon · 14/05/2012 08:53

Homer, I've transcribed the interview (in the middle of a blog post for this)

He blames Rula in a couple of ways. These are actual quotes, btw.

  1. "The problem with strong, intelligent women (Pah, some people may disagree with that) is that they can argue well and if there is a time when you can't get a word in, and you kind of... I lashed out. I couldn't end the arguement, so I lashed out at her" So, here, he blames Rula for her not letting him get a "word in" in an argument. That is blaming Rula.
  1. "It's not difficult for a woman to make a man hit her and a lot of that stuff..." (He got cut off here, by Morgan asking if he really believed that, and pointing out most men don't hit women). Here, he is turning the act of being assaulted into an active act - he's saying she made it happen, not that it was something he did to her.

He also blames the alcohol several times. I failed to read any real sense of remorse from Waterman. It was more a case of "Oh shit, I've been rumbled." He lied his way throughout the interview, eg conveniently forgetting he'd punched her, which makes me dispute his version of events...

There is only one thing that makes a man hit a woman. His desire for power and control. Not alcohol, not drugs, not being confronted with a woman who knows how to "argue well"... It all boils down to his desire to be the one in power, and the one in control.

messyisthenewtidy · 14/05/2012 10:35

Homer: he said "it's not hard for a woman to make a man hit her".

I'd say that's not just blaming Rula but women in general who "make" men hit them.

AyeRobot · 14/05/2012 10:55

Actually, I love it when men are honest about their reasons for meting out violence. It shows that feminists aren't making this shit up.

carernotasaint · 14/05/2012 17:13

I noticed that his wife said that when he came to see her in hospital while she was being treated for cancer,she said his eyes never flinched even though she wasnt wearing any make up.
Isnt that the way its supposed to be?

BasilEatsFoulEggs · 14/05/2012 20:52

Dennis Waterman is telling us all straight out, why he hit Rula Lenska. Because he was putting her in her place.

And still there are people around, who will argue that it is for another reason. Even when we've all heard it from the horse's mouth.

FrothyDragon · 15/05/2012 09:22

Also, he may have said he was ashamed. At no point did he admit responsibility, at no point did he apologise, and at no point did he condone domestic violence outright.

SuchProspects · 15/05/2012 09:44

I think you mean condem Frothy.

FrothyDragon · 15/05/2012 13:02

I did, sorry... brain wasn't working properly this morning...

At no point did he condemn domestic violence.

Can someone ban me from the laptop before 10am in future please?

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