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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

More rape posters

34 replies

newbabynewmum · 09/12/2011 22:39

This is my first time posting in feminism so be gentle with me. After being raped earlier this year I have taken great interest in societies viewpoint on rape. This daily mail article has made me so so cross. Why can't women drink as much as men? Why do I have to be mindful when I go out and not men? It upsets me. Just because I had had a drink when I was raped doesn't mean I 'asked for it' or 'deserved it' - the reason I couldn't say no was because he gave me no option.

Am I right in my thinking? It's ok to be cross is it?

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tethersjinglebellend · 09/12/2011 22:52

That is awful.

I am having huge issues with (caution, may be triggering; that's part of the issue with it)this advert at the moment. The poster campaign was bad enough, but this is sickening. All to advertise what appears to be a profit-making service. The link is from 2009, but the ad is still being shown in London.

Don't mean to hijack your thread, but no- you are right to be angry. More people should be.

Prolesworth · 09/12/2011 22:52

Yes you are right in your thinking and yes it's OK to be angry about victim-blaming, absolutely it is!

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you NBNM x

AlwaysWild · 09/12/2011 22:52

Hi newbabynewmum

So sorry to hear about your rape. You're utterly right to be cross at those ads. It is never the women's fault for being raped. That first ad suggests to me that women are in a perpetual state of consent so if you can't say 'no' then it must be a 'yes'. This is so utterly wrong and also not what UK law says.

Have you seen any of the Scottish rape crisis adverts? I can't link as on my phone but they are great for dispelling these rape myths.

newbabynewmum · 09/12/2011 23:04

I've seen (and got cross at) that advert before tethered.

Thanks everyone. I'll look at those Scottish adverts when im at a computer too.

Makes me so cross how society advertises this kind of thing. Really, really cross! It took me a long time to recognise that it wasn't my fault because I'd had a few drinks. I wasn't even drunk. Just thought that because I'd had a couple of glasses of wine and had a slightly revealing dress on it must've been my fault.

Shows how messed up society made me!

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tethersjinglebellend · 10/12/2011 00:03

What a mockery it makes of men too- most men I know, if they came across a woman stark naked and drunk/comatose/unconscious would cover her up/call an ambulance/police- and, inexplicably, not rape her Hmm

It does men a disservice to suggest that they are incapable of controlling themselves and that the only thing stopping them becoming rapists is women keeping their wits about them.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 10/12/2011 01:05

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jamma111 · 14/12/2011 11:04

And then you get the opposite, and its just as bad.

This one from this year Scottish anti-rape poster is about as embarrassing as you can get. The MENZ groups must love this.

Here's the list in full;

  1. Don't put drugs in women's drinks.
  1. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
  1. If you pull over to help a woman whose care has broken down, remember not to rape her.
  1. If are in a lift and a woman gets in, don't rape her.
  1. Never creep into a woman's home through an unlocked window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
  1. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM
If you are not able to yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while your are in public.
  1. Don't forget, it's not sex with someone who's asleep or unconscious - it's RAPE!
  1. Carry a whistle if you are worried you might assault someone 'by accident' you can hand it to the person your are with, so they can call for help.
  1. Don't forget. Honesty is the best policy. If you have every intendtion of having sex later on with the woman you're dating regardless of how she feels about it, tell her directly that there is every chance you will rape her. If you don't communicate your intentions, she may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her and inadvertantly feel safe.
  1. Don't rape.

Number 3 - If you pull over to help a woman whose care has broken down, remember not to rape her.

Yeah that will encourage blokes to help such women all the time.

Fancy having the piss taken out of you whilst in a lift alone with a man? Don't worry, number 4. If are in a lift and a woman gets in, don't rape her
...is happening all-the-time at my workplace!

The 'rape whistle' is supposed to be satire; no need to actually make it a truth;

  1. Carry a whistle if you are worried you might assault someone 'by accident' you can hand it to the person your are with, so they can call for help.

How fecking' embarrassing.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 14/12/2011 11:06

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jamma111 · 14/12/2011 11:09

You might be missing the point - the poster isn't directed at rapists.

Its directed at men. All of them.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 14/12/2011 11:13

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KRITIQ · 14/12/2011 11:39

Men who are not rapists will not be offended by the poster. Hopefully, however, they will be reminded of their responsibility as men to challenge and hold other men accountable who are rapists or who hold or engage in behaviour that indicates they could rape.

jamma111 · 14/12/2011 11:40

Hey, why not try the poster out in say, The Democratic Republic of Congo.

If it is so effective in Scotland, why not there?

Its a bloody recruitment poster for the MENZ movement.

KRITIQ · 14/12/2011 11:43

(Make that "hold views" rather than just "hold" in the last line.)

stuffedauberginexmasdinner · 14/12/2011 11:49

I love that you are so naive to think there is such an all-powerful entity as the 'Scottish feminist lobby'.

There was a reason no-one replyed to your other thread.

jamma111 · 14/12/2011 12:00

Men who are not rapists will not be offended by the poster. Hopefully, however, they will be reminded of their responsibility as men to challenge and hold other men accountable who are rapists or who hold or engage in behaviour that indicates they could rape

Ah, so it is aimed at all men. Luckily those non-rapist men who pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down will realise this and will persevere to continuallly remind themselves of their responsibility as men to challenge and hold other men accountable who are rapists or who hold or engage in behaviour that indicates they could rape

Now you see this must be my tendency to empathize with the opposite sex. 'Cos if I was a man and saw the poster, I'd automatically assume it was aimed at all men. Now I only know of eight males who have seen that poster (my husband and seven work colleagues) and every single one, independent of each other has determined it is a 'all men are rapists' message.

Now not exactly a scientific study that, but I presume the producers of the poster performed something similar and obviously got the complete opposite response from their sample.

'Cos to me 8. Carry a whistle if you are worried you might assault someone 'by accident' you can hand it to the person your are with, so they can call for help. is just plain condescending. But its a lovely comforting thought to think that genuine rapists or would-be-rapists would be influenced by such ideas.

Personally I would prefer a rather different 10-point plan; one that starts with ensuring the CPS and Procurator Fiscal are under the cosh when it comes to bettering rape convictions, one that sees extensive victim support, all-the-way-to-court and beyond, one that sees police officers fully trained in the use of rape kits in a similar way to US officers. But then that's just me. It seems.

AyeFartedOnSantasLap · 14/12/2011 12:10

Have you had an irony bypass, jamma?

RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel · 14/12/2011 12:23

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Snorbs · 14/12/2011 12:26

I'm a man. I've seen that poster a number of times yet I don't read that poster as a "all men are rapists" message at all. I read it as an ironic statement aimed at highlighting the ridiculousness of victim-blaming anti-rape messages.

It's not going to stop rapists (although point 7 might just cause some people pause for thought) but I don't think that's the point of it. The vast majority of men are not rapists. But an awful lot of people unwittingly hold victim-blaming views because that is what rape is all too often presented as. The more that victim-blaming is reduced, the greater the chances that prosecutions will succeed. Of course it's not the only thing that needs to change but it is part of it.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/12/2011 12:38

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StewieGriffinsMom · 14/12/2011 12:39

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blackcurrants · 14/12/2011 12:43

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, new - and you're absolutely right to be pissed off with the victim blaming. It's a loada crap.

The slight good news is that the ads were pulled after feminist-lead outcry. - Which is heartening! We're always being told, "oh, why are you bothering with X, haven't you got bigger fish to fry?" - and the answer is that by bothering with (whatever) we can change the world, one tiny, victim-blaming, rape-culture-supporting piece of crap at a time.

[waves Feminist banner proudly]

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/12/2011 12:59

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jamma111 · 14/12/2011 14:12

Have you had an irony bypass, jamma?

Probably.

It's the same with the discussion about Solanas's SCUM Manifesto which I deliberately ignored. Apparently that was irony.

Now, I wonder if this is irony? 'Cos ostensibly, coming from the US/UK charity StorItNow.org, it looks like it is branding any male walking hand-in-hand to be a pedophile.

But there you are, maybe I'm bit hard of thinking (that old routine of determining any woman who opposes the conventional view must be mentally impaired). I'm missing the irony here too.

Silly me.

JuliaScurr · 14/12/2011 14:13

The people who think it says 'all men are rapists' presumably do so because they know that feminists have no sense of humour Smile

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