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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Bigger bust rant!

46 replies

havinhoops1974 · 05/10/2011 18:45

not sure if this is a Fem. issue porbabaly isn't but I'm pretty pissed off and angry.
got measured today i'm bigger than DD+ and I got presented with two bra's the colour was nice but it was an underwired but no moulding horror which made me look about 3 cups smaller very small chested :( v. unflattering I said this to the lady and she said you wont find anywhere that doe padding in that size and she was right , I did find an £8 cutie in matalan but I was fishing tbh.

It made me quite angry and upset I've always had this problem why do shops seem to think every woman over a dd want to havev the same unfer wear as there grandma :/ If anything you need that sortb of bra to keep em up!

this really upsets me I think it sends a wierd message,, most of society= big boobs are everything shops= you can only be glamourous below dd :(

OP posts:

Trills · 06/10/2011 15:32

I am confused. How did BoF's suggestion to post in Style&Beauty for bra tips end up with you reposting in AIBU?

DreamsOfSteam · 06/10/2011 15:43

How is it sexist? possibly sizeist (is that a word?) I dont think thay make many bras for DD+ men either

and your comment to IvyAndGold of 'At least they'll be cheap and pretty Ivy,' not so sure, being very small myself IME they very often don't exist.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 06/10/2011 15:52

'tbh it is, the idea that once above a certain cup and back size your mumsy,frumpy shoul,d hide yourself away and not like the rest of society I think is in a very small way, but nonetheless..'

Are you serious? So you had a frustrating trip to one shop and decide the wold wants you to hide away and is excluding you? Jeez

mirai · 06/10/2011 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistlethrush · 06/10/2011 15:59

Try Bravissimo.

Original poster

havinhoops1974 · 07/10/2011 10:07

Are you serious? So you had a frustrating trip to one shop and decide the wold wants you to hide away and is excluding you? Jeez

no I've had this since I was a teen and in answer to someones post I already posted in Style & Beauty .

OP posts:

lovecat · 07/10/2011 11:24

Having spent several weekends recently trying to buy a non-moulded bra for a 32B (I was costuming a play set in the 1960's so was actively looking for a Triumph Doreen kind of style), I can totally confirm that if you are small of cup then the emphasis on modern bras is totally on uplift, moulding and padding. There are some ridiculously uncomfortable bras out there with the chicken fillets already built in to take you up a cup size (why???) and I think that is an issue worth exploring - why do manufacturers assume that a woman won't be satisfied with her own, naturally-proportioned breasts? The actress I was buying for was a size 6 and her boobs were in perfect proportion to the rest of her body, but there was the expectation there that she would want herself 'enhanced'. There was no choice on the shelves not to.

I'm not denying that many may want that, but isn't it sad that it's now the 'desired' norm?

The only really pretty bras seem to be around the C and D cup, everything else (speaking as a 34FF) is industrial scaffolding or 'boost your cup size!'.

Btw, if anyone's interested, I found her the bra at M&S online (they denied all knowledge of it in the shop) and she said afterwards it was nice to have a supportive, well-fitting bra for once - even though she wouldn't have worn it in RL as it was too 'ugly'....

Original poster

havinhoops1974 · 07/10/2011 19:16

yeah there a hell of lot gel enhancing bras in b, c im guessing a cups too

if only the extended them, I really want the tits under my chin look, (as wierd as it may sound) but none seem to exist.

OP posts:

aliasforthis2 · 08/10/2011 19:57

I'm a 30D (I know up a back size down a cup size and vice versa but 32C is slightly loose round the back and 28DD/E back is a bit tight and cup is too full) and I like underwire but not the ridiculous gel huge amounts of padding ones.

I'm a fan of M&S for the sheer variety of bras and sizes from 28AA - 42J and not too pricey either.

I got this one recently - Bra

I don't work for them honest!

TheSmallClanger · 08/10/2011 21:25

They no longer cater for anyone who doesn't want padding or moulding at all, apart from if you are a DD plus. I don't want bigger, rounder breasts, and the foam makes me sweaty.

Bue · 09/10/2011 11:35

People are shopping in the wrong places. Unfortunately the high street does crap undergarments. If you go to a proper shop like Bravissimo or Rigby and Peller (yes you will pay for it but it is so worth it) there is tons of choice for all sizes.

Mind you, I have to admit to not being interested in 'pretty' bras. It just goes under your clothes and makes you look better on the outside. I don't care what it looks like on the inside!

Onemorning · 09/10/2011 16:27

Bue, unfortunately the 'wrong' places are those which are most accessible. Bras at large sizes are expensive compared to smaller sizes, and it's horrible not having a comfortable decent bra simply because you can't afford it.

TheSmallClanger · 09/10/2011 16:35

Yes, well said. Sod Rigby & Peller, I'm not paying £50 for a bloody bra that no-one except DH and my GP will ever see.

All I want is something that prevents excessive wobbling. No uplift, no shaping, no sweaty padding and no huge panels that dig into my armpits. It isn't too much to ask as I never used to have this problem.

TheFallenMadonna · 09/10/2011 16:40

Well, I am tall and have large breasts. I have a double whammy of difficulty in finding clothes that fit. I see it as a deviation from the norm issue myself. Fortunately I don't have big feet to match.

Catslikehats · 09/10/2011 16:45

I'm a 32E and find that Debenhams own range has some very pretty and cheap bras up to a G cup. They are also super comfortable.

If you want to splash out Freya is also great.

Not sure this is a feminist issue though

NacMacFeegle · 09/10/2011 17:55

It is a feminist issue in that breast size, along with the rest of your outward appearance, is a measure of your worth in a way that it doesn't appear to be for men.

And that your breasts should be plumped and pummelled into an unnatural, gravity defying shape - for whom, exactly? I bet lots of women would say they buy e.g. wonderbras because they like them (like the shaven haven arguments), but it seems to me that it is all for other people to look at.

I have come down in size a lot (having lost weight) but am still a 34E - people rarely notice, because I don't dress to flash my tits, because I genuinely don't want people to stare at them/ talk to me like a piece of meat. Apparently this is an odd sentiment, because you must want to be sexually attractive to half-witted neandertals.

Onemorning · 09/10/2011 18:00

Agreed, Nac. Like TheSmallClanger said above, at her size she can't get a bra that's merely functional (i.e. she wants one without padding because it's comfortable), now she finds that they all conform to particular ideas of how breasts 'should' look, and how women with her size breasts 'should' aspire to bigger, rounder boobs.

Catslikehats · 09/10/2011 18:46

Eh?? The OP says she does want padding and something that enhances her breasts.

But the fact that she cannot get that is a feminist issue - really?

Don't get it at all.

TheFallenMadonna · 09/10/2011 19:53

I want gravity defying bras because gravity is a bugger when you are an H cup. Comfort is what I'm after.

I don't flash my breasts. I support them.

I can't imagine why anyone with large breasts would want to pad them though. It's enough of a problem buttoning up as it is. And I suspect it is that lack of demand that is the reason for their scarcity.

higgle · 09/10/2011 23:24

It makes me very annoyed that bra makers assume because you are less than a D cup you must want padding and moulding. At 36C I want pretty underwired lace or fine bras not huge padded moulded things that make me uncomfortable and make my breasts so hot they get itchy. You can find nice things but they are very much in the minority and more likely to be very expensive.

Original poster

havinhoops1974 · 10/10/2011 09:36

Fallen Madonna - I have all 3 argh E cup, large clothes size and size 9 feet :/ hate shopping,
I have noticed smaller cups the assumption is you must want to look 3 cup sizes bigger.
its not so much i want to want them to look padded but a nicer shape iyswim and I hate sheer bras for the nipple on look is not a good look ¬.¬

OP posts:

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