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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

keeping my surname - miss, ms or mrs?

51 replies

peaky123 · 17/09/2011 22:11

Im getting married next week, and have decided to keep my surname. Our son has both of our surnames.
The thing is, I would like to know what others who have kept their maiden names do about their title? Miss, with the obvious unmarried connotations, Ms which is neutral but most people think means divorced, or Mrs? I have no idea.

OP posts:
msrisotto · 17/09/2011 22:14

I'm a ms. it just feels right for me.

peaky123 · 17/09/2011 22:19

I have already ticked a few 'ms' boxes, but wasnt really sure what most people thought it meant. Just wikipediaed it, pretty interesting stuff actually.

OP posts:
RebelFromTheWaistDown · 17/09/2011 22:46

Ms. - which means mind your own business and nothing more!

KRITIQ · 17/09/2011 22:46

If asked, I say I don't use a title. If I have no choice (i.e. mandatory field on a website form), I click Ms.

slartybartfast · 17/09/2011 22:49

i was a ms but didnt really like it. sounds a bit bolshy.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 17/09/2011 22:58

Ms, to me Miss means single and I hate Mrs. If I had to choose between Miss and Mrs on a form I would probably put Miss, I still have Miss on old credit cards etc.

skrumle · 18/09/2011 00:52

ms for me (before i got married as well)

LeBOF · 18/09/2011 00:57


Miss is unmarried, and Mrs means you are your mum Confused

veryconfusedatthemoment · 18/09/2011 01:02

Ms without a doubt!

Valpollicella · 18/09/2011 01:08

Ms. No one else needs to know from your name - be a Miss or a Mrs (iyswim) without your marital status preceding you.

LaBag · 18/09/2011 01:13

Ms for me too. Has been since I was about 20. I'm not a "feminist" either.

CadburyFan · 18/09/2011 02:10

I just use my name, and on forms I leave the space blank when I can, but if forced to put down something I'm glad I'm able to use Dr.
Some people have fun and use something like Prof / Rev / Dame in the spirit of "why does it matter anyway?"

shreddedandnotatallsmug · 18/09/2011 02:48

I'm a Ms.

When I get called Mrs DH's surname (e.g. by teachers at DC's school) I ask them to call me by my first name.

SweetTheSting · 18/09/2011 08:57

Ms for me. I have used it for 15-odd years and I'd never heard it was linked with divorce before I came on MN. I certainly wouldn't think that about any Ms I met.

bucaneve · 18/09/2011 09:20

Ooh be Ms. definitely,

I put it on loads of stuff (Apart from some stuff where I'm Miss and am too lazy to ring them up and change it) and no one thinks I'm divorced. Plus, I find that its almost become the default for when you don't know someone- I have lots of junk mail to Ms.Bucaneve.

going · 18/09/2011 09:21

Ms. Miss doesn't seem right now I'm married, but I'm not Mrs my mum!

TeddyBare · 18/09/2011 09:24

Ms. I would never be Mrs my name because it would sound like I had become my mother. I didn't want to be Miss either because in my mind Miss is for people much younger than me (yes I know that's illogical and wrong).

ladyintheradiator · 18/09/2011 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunbaker · 18/09/2011 09:32

Now, I don't think Mrs sounds old at all, but that is perhaps because I am old Grin, or at least older than most of you.

Anyway, back to the OP - I would go for Ms.

Yama · 18/09/2011 09:37

I am Ms.

When there isn't an option for Ms I choose Miss.

I don't think I could ever identify with Mrs. Too respectable.

Yama · 18/09/2011 09:39

Lady - I think I would still keep my own name in that instance.

celadon · 18/09/2011 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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celadon · 18/09/2011 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndiMac · 18/09/2011 10:56

I'm a Ms as well. I don't panic if people call me Mrs. but when asked for a title, I give Ms. Don't care if people think I'm divorced, I know I'm not, that's what matters.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 18/09/2011 11:45

I'm Ms - what I notice is people ask how you say it - Mizz to rhyme with fizz.

I don't always pick people up when they call me Mrs/Miss, but I have noticed that increasingly, Ms is the default option on a lot of forms at my university (where I do the most paperwork), and you have to opt to use Miss or Mrs, so I guess I'm used to it.

No one has yet assumed I'm divorced! Grin

Btw ... did anyone else see Dr Who and yell at the screen when, having called Amy 'Pond' ever since her marriage, the Doctor did his 'you have to grow up and see me as I am speech' and then called her Williams? FFS, taking your husband's name is not a symbol you're finally an adult!

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