When did you feel really good about your body?

[neepsntatties]

I have spent most of my life feeling awful about my body. I can only think of a couple of occasions where I haven't felt bad about it. When I was a child and played all sorts of active games and didn't give my body a second thought until the teenage years hit and that went out the window and then when I was pregnant had also when I had just given birth to my baby girl and my body felt strong in a kind of primal way but I couldn't hold onto that feeling.

So I am interested in the moments when other women felt really good in their own skin and how (if) those moments could maybe be harnesed and extended into something sustainable.

I feel a kind of shame over my post pregnancy body which really annoys me at the same time as my body has produced life so the signs of that should be something to be really proud of, something that should be seen as beautiful but I just don't feel that way about it at the moment. I am trying to think of ways I could positively counter that feeling.

I hope this makes some sense!

I agree, working. I've been thinking about this, on and off, all day but am too drunk tired to encapsulate it now. Something to do with a difference between working with your body - within it, as part of it, as part of you - and working to control it. As if your own body ... your self! ... were some grossly unwieldy, badly-made thing that must be honed and tempered into acceptability.

The language used by gyms, diet vendors and such has become so sophisticated. It's easy to reject ads from the 1950s, with their brash "Too fat! Too smelly!" messages, so now they're using terms that imply we should be happy being ourselves, and can't be, until we buy their classes and their equipment and their book and their products. It's the same mechanism used to sell skincare, but so much more insidious because it masquerades as health & sanity.

Annie, have you read Orbach's book? I can't remember.

I like my body more now -30s, post DS, two stone overweight - than I think I did when I dieted and ran my way down to my thinnest ever, three years ago, before my wedding. Bloody DM pulled me aside and gave me a talking-to that included the phrase 'I hope you're not going to be a Big Bride.' I got myself really worried about it and did WW and an hour's exercise a day and it was the most bored, food-obsessed and anxious that I have ever been. Totally not worth it- I just liiked like me, but a bit thinner!

I plan to get fitter and will probably lose some weight, but I really like my body now. It has grown me DS, fed him, and survived on very little sleep while working and running around. It has done me proud! I.would feel ungrateful not to love it now. It does help that DH says and demonstrates that he is very keen, and I don't watch telly or read mags. I am also very lucky to be relatively healthy. I have a friend who lives with a chronic illness and it is so hard.

I have mostly always liked my body, give or take a few niggles, except in my teens, when I found being tall and somewhat gawky difficult. But I think that was more about not being comfortable about who I was really.

The time I liked the way my body looked best was during a fairly short bout of keeping fit and eating healthily a couple of years after my children were born. I cycled to work and did weight training and really liked both the aesthetic results and the feeling of being fit. Then I broke my arm and couldn't cycle for six months and basically lost all the muscle, strength and fitness and never really could be arsed to put in the work again. Which is daft because I really did feel good.

Today I went clothes shopping with dd and felt a bit sad that so many things looked fantastic on her and so few on me. But I know that's because she is at a very beautiful time in her life whilst I have more fat than I should (and still want to wear the same clothes!). However generally I don't think about my appearance much, and follow the philosophy that if you catch sight of yourself in a mirror you should smile, think how nice you are and move on :)

I have become "happier" with my body as I get older, but I am not truely happy.

I always compare myself to others , thus when I was in my teens and twenties I was fairly average, physically very little has changed from my teens through to my thirties so now as a 30 something mother of four I am probably faring a lot better than most.

The only exception was that in all of my pregnancies I felt truely beautiful.

I have always felt as though my body has let me down, gawky as a child, hospitalised with asthma, overweight at a teen, covered in acne, and eczema, overwrought with hormonal changes and polycystic ovaries. Struggles with fertility, miscarriages, a molar pregnancy which became cancerous and led to a year of chemotherapy. Finally manage to get and keep a pregnancy, but have terrible birth, with 3rd degree tearing (with ongoing consequences) raynauds syndrome means breastfeeding is a bloody nightmare. My body feels even more wrecked by birth of ds (csection) my stomach doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore, I have put on loads of weight, my back aches all the time from carrying ds around (he is a big 14 months, but has developmental delays and needs carrying a lot), i have varicose veins and a tendency to get phlebitis in one leg.

Ok that is the moaning bit!

I am also amazed by my wreck of a body, it has got me through cancer. Despite 7 years of struggles it has carried and given birth to 3 babies, it managed a few weeks of breastfeeding each baby. It runs (sometimes) and walks miles everyday. It provides a magnificent climbing frame for my dds. I have always been a bit bad about the fuel i put in it, too many drugs and too much alcohol in my youth, too much cake and chocolate now, but god i enjoy food. Dh says I am amazing(), and I don't know about that, but maybe my body is more amazing than I give it credit for.

I've always been happy with my body, except perhaps when I lost a lot of weight breastfeeding and felt a bit gaunt round the face and upper arms. But I don't really feel that's my own positive thinking, more that I'm not particularly thin or particularly fat, a bit curvy in the right places, hardly any stretchmarks even, and have a DH who thinks I'm sexy - what's not to be happy about?

I have basically been the same size my whole life, but my attitude has changed so much. For me, sport (as opposed to exercise for the purposes of weight control) has been a really positive influence.

I am definitely happier in my thirties than in my twenties, and the less said about my teens and early twenties (16-21) the better, as it was then that I fully subscribed to the "Losing weight will solve all your problems instantly." Before that I was pretty unselfconscious, loved sport, didn't think about food much etc. My mother has a very sensible attitude to her body, and certainly never projected. around 15, I started to be influenced by magazines and images in the media, and by other girls in my year basically developing eating disorders (diet coke all day, packed lunch in the bin and then just eat dinner so your mum doesn't find out). Weirdly, at this time, I pretty much stopped playing competitive sport/athletics and started doing "weight loss" orientated exercise- mindless cardio/step classes etc. I got slightly better at Uni when I was a rower, but I still had major food issues.

Then I moved to London, dropped the competitive sport again, and went back to gyming/ body shape obsession.

As I got older, I realised that media images were basically bollocks, and my attitude to my own body improved gradually. I also did well in my career and that gave me a lot of overall confidence. I realised that I have a naturally athletic body that will never be skinny, but looks great toned and strong (my party trick is a one armed press up )

In 2006 i got into endurance racing. When my focus switched from exercising for weight loss to exercising for performance/racing, that "flicked the switch" back for me I think and made me so much more positive. I now play a lot of tennis, do loads of hiking and sea kayaking. When I go to the gym, it's with those things in mind, rather than just counting how many calories I've burned.

So I'd say now I'm the happiest I've been. I've also learned to moderate my weight so I eat pretty sensibly all the time, rather than crash and binge.

I was already 4st overweight when I became pregnant. One day, towards the end of my pregnancy, I came out of the bathroom naked and had an unexpected full-frontal reflection in a mirror opposite. It struck me forcefully that I looked exactly like the statuettes of Ashtoreth/Astarte, an ancient fertility goddess. An image that men and women had venerated for thousands of years, an ancient image of beauty and femininity.

Suddenly my huge and waggly thighs, bum, belly, breasts, my fat, round shoulders and neck, were beautiful and feminine.

It felt good .

I felt really attractive when pregnant

Now, I have hardly any hang ups about my body which is surprising as I'm 40.

I just don't weigh myself. If my jeans get a bit tighter, I try to skip treats and wine for a bit. I also don't look in the mirror much, I don't like people (including self) who have to check their appearance all the time. Also, no fashion mags, as they EXIST solely to make you feel inadequate and then sell you the solution . Now read books, or the National geographic. The other one is to not join in when a group of women starts bashing their bodies ("look at me, i am soooo fat!", "Oh, I HATE my thighs" blabla. change the topic)

Doing SPORT is the main thing. I like feeling I have strong legs, and am building up stamina. I do sports I enjoy (not "punishment" like going to a gym or running would be for me). For me that's riding (friend's horse), swimming and squash. I try to go even if I am busy or don't feel like it, or it's raining.

I think the key is in keeping active, finding a sport you love, it's good for body AND mind.

I am about as happy with my body right now as I've ever been.

I spent my teens being lovely and thin, but since leaving my teens, my weight has yo-yo'd, with more time spent being heavier than lighter.

Post-teens, I was at my lightest in my early 20s, working in a bar, on my feet all day, barely eating, clubbing by night and of course all that that entails, if you know what I mean...

After having DC1 the weight fell off me, thanks to breastfeeding. I totally was not expecting it, and quickly became complacent - naturally it all crept back on and by the time I wa pregnant with DC2 I was back to my usual size 16.

Fast forward 9 months and I was determined to 'harness' breastfeeding as a weight-loss aid again.

DC2 is now 13 months old. Our combined weight now, at 13 months of age is 18 kilos less than our combined weight the day before I went in to be induced. I've lost 30 kilos since that day - roughly 60 pounds. 4 kilos of that was DD, of course.

I am so happy with my body right now. It is not perfect. I have a flat tummy when clothed, but naked, it is saggy and baggy thanks to two big babies. My thighs could be slimmer. But I am 5"9' and a size 10/12. I never thought I would see a 12 again, let alone a 10.

It hasn't been easy. I mean it has in the sense that it's been a simple matter of eating less and exercising more, but it's taken dedication sticking to it. I walk every single day and run every other day. I no longer eat whatever i fancy whenever I fancy it. At the age of 37 I have finally acknowledged that I will never be one of those people who can eat what they want and remain slim. It is one or the other, and in all honesty, being slim is a higher priority than a few minutes of bad-food over-indulgence.

I feel great about myself. I'd love to lose another 5 kilos, and hope that once I get down to that point I can be happy with what I see and all it quits. In all likelihood I will still focus on the flaws. But still, even with those flaws I'm so proud of myself and feel better about myself than I probably ever have.

As someone else said upthread - I look back on photos of myself when I was slim and kick myself for not appreciating it more. Right now I am appreciating it, because even if I csn still see flaws I know in my heart of hearts that I don't look at all bad.

Now, in my 30's and post 2 children.

Twice I have disliked my body - when I was a stone heavier in my 20's from drinking too many pints of beer and just after I finished breastfeeding dc1. I was too thin and had empty boobs.

I have never bought magazines of any description. I have never owned scales.

I wish I had whiter teeth and less fillings though.

I wish I had whiter teeth and less fillings though.

Me too re the fillings- just call me Metal Mickey

It's really unfair as well as my sister has none and eats loads of sweets

I find it fascinating that so many of us have liked our bodies best when pregnant. I'm another one. I like my body now as it has carried my daughter, birthed her well, and fed her well. So whenever I feel grumbly about my body's appearance, I remember that. Also, I have discovered that babies can tone your arms without you noticing.

whenever i realise that the body is about doing not being. it is vehicle for life not a picture.

the action can be something v simple like jumping over a stream, getting a lid off a jar, running or cycling up a hill, hammering a nail in in 2 strikes.

by realising that it is not only is it good enough for the all things i want to do, but often it surprises me with what it can do. it the opposite of all those adverts that encourage us to examine ourselves with a critical eye searching for any imperfections.

it the opposite of all those adverts that encourage us to examine ourselves with a critical eye searching for any imperfections.

Indeed :)

I loved those BUPA "You're amazing" commercials. Even a damaged body has incredible abilities.

Because I wore unsuitable contact lenses for several years, my eyes did that vasculation thing where they grow extra blood vessels to route more oxygen to the eye. How clever of them!! When I had one ovary removed, the other took up double egg-releasing and hormone generation without missing a beat.
BOF wrote about having psoriasis - do you know what that is? It's your skin making new cells at 10x the normal rate. Even that's fucking amazing! Just now, my arm's healing from an oven burn. Every morning another half inch of burn has disappeared. It's like being Jack Harkness in slow motion

I've never been comfortable in my own skin. My mum is a lovely lovely kind sweet woman but has spent her whole adult life counting calories, trying different diets, exercise videos, faddy fitness equipment etc that the image of imperfection has rubbed off :( My mum is and always has been a size 10 ffs. She still won't go to the swimming baths because 'people will see her' and that to me is incredibly sad.
I'm not that bad; I will go swimming and to the gym, and when I'm all dressed up I think I look killer (proper hourglass, 36G size 14) and DH says he loves my body, but naked- I don't even like to look at it. I find myself looking at my wobbly belly in the mornings to see if it's gotten any smaller. I used to life model when I was 19-20 and looking back, my body was amazing. So why did I feel about it then as I do about it now? Gah.

there are some amazing quotes in this thread.

I particularly like 'the body is about doing not being. it is vehicle for life not a picture.'

and
'my body is neither "me" nor "not-me". It's not a shell, it's who I am and there's much more to me besides'

Mine is all right, most of the time.

Mostly I don't want to be 80 and look back thinking that I spent large parts of most days thinking about my packaging.

I think mine is lovely even if no one else does I don't give a hoot, its mine! I'm pregnant now and feel delighted with my body.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thanks Sybil

I'm alright in my own skin mostly. I think it helps massively to never read 'womens' magazines, or own a full length mirror. I just don't pay much attention to it. Although, I did find my first grey pube last month and had a moment of panic, but that's more about the rapidly approaching grave than appearance per se

I've never got the whole blonde= stunner

I dont think I ever will tbh

• like my body that is

Interesting thread. I hardly thought about my body past what it could do for me until my late 20's. This undoubtedly was down to being heavily into sport and training 8 times a week while I was a teen/student until mid 20's really. I could eat anything, drink anything, I was strong, very fit. What my body looked like was immaterial, it was how it performed which concerned me. The only thing I really thought about at this time was injuries and the fact that I was round shouldered (not helped by the sport I was doing!).
In addition my parents were brilliant with body-image. They just never mentioned it. The first time my mother went on a diet was when she was 70! My dad never has (although him and my brother have the sort of bodies/metabolism which means they never get fat and you should see the amount of food my brother eats!).

Once I stopped training I still ate the same portion sizes and drank too much and so the weight came on.

However, I am currently 8 months pregnant and actually feel my body is bearing up fairly well for a 40-yr old. I would like to lose some weight once the baby is born, but hoping that breast-feeding plus toddler will help with that. Would also like to take up my sport again as a participant rather than a coach. I've always felt best when fit, regardless of weight (and also had more energy).