When did you feel really good about your body?

[neepsntatties]

I have spent most of my life feeling awful about my body. I can only think of a couple of occasions where I haven't felt bad about it. When I was a child and played all sorts of active games and didn't give my body a second thought until the teenage years hit and that went out the window and then when I was pregnant had also when I had just given birth to my baby girl and my body felt strong in a kind of primal way but I couldn't hold onto that feeling.

So I am interested in the moments when other women felt really good in their own skin and how (if) those moments could maybe be harnesed and extended into something sustainable.

I feel a kind of shame over my post pregnancy body which really annoys me at the same time as my body has produced life so the signs of that should be something to be really proud of, something that should be seen as beautiful but I just don't feel that way about it at the moment. I am trying to think of ways I could positively counter that feeling.

I hope this makes some sense!

I feel better about my body now I am in my 40's than I did when I was a teen, 20's and 30's

I stopped worrying about it, for a start

I started listening to the people that care for me, instead of that faceless, amorphous mass of people (society) who tried to tell me that I was ugly if I wasn't 19yo, had big perky knockers and long blonde hair

I have never felt good about my body. Nowadays I mostly feel ok about it with occasional glimpses of good but still wouldn't say I felt good about it in general.

Over the last couple of years I have realised much of my negative thinking about myself came from my mother-as a child I was told I was skinny, hairy and pasty. As a teen she added in flat chested and horrible legs. It's no wonder I grew up thinking I was ugly

This is one of those issues where it's easy to read all the feminist theory about appearance - and agree with it wholeheartedly - yet still be unable to apply it to yourself.

I usually feel good about my body most of the time. I am never going to look like a model but because I lead an active lifestyle and I enjoy activities like running and swimming, I don't have a weight problem and my body feels healthy. One of the reasons I run is because it gives me time to myself to think and also because when my body is fit, my mind is too. If I let exercise slide I find my ability to cope with stress decreases. For me there is a direct relationship between physical health and mental health.

I am a size bigger now than I was pre-DC because although I am the same weight my shape has changed. I look older too. Yet despite this I feel more content with my appearance now than I did pre-DC, when I was much more insecure.

How I got here, I'm not sure. I've read a bit about feminism and beauty, which certainly helped, but the main reason I think is just getting older and weathering enough storms to realise that life's too short to worry about how flat your stomach is. No one ever asks for an epitaph saying 'she had a fabulous figure'. Most people prefer to be remembered for their personalities.

If you are proud of what you do in life, and you care for your body in a keeping healthy way, not a 'perfect' appearance way, I think you grow to love the body you naturally have, regardless of its size or shape.

If you don't feel like that, it's worth looking to what you can do to change things, though IME a change in approach to life tends to have more benefits than a change to diet/exercise. I'm sure you look lovely in RL though and you're probably just at a bit of a low point and therefore more willing to see 'flaws'. I'm sure your friends and family think you look great.

The last time I felt good about my body was before I had DD. I was 41 then, and very controlled around food, but thinking about it most of the time. My life revolved around it. However, I think it was worth it, because I felt far better about myself when I had a good body. I just don't have the motivation any more, and I really envy women who feel good about their bodies and don't stress over this.I'm strong in other ways - even quite fit - but I just don't feel particularly empowered without a perfect body, even though I know I'm ok for my age and lifestyle. So yes, OP, you are making perfect sense!

I've stopped caring what other people think about mine now I'm in my 40s. It's nowhere near perfect, but it's healthy and I love the fact that I can trace my history on it. DH loves it, and that'll do for me.

The pressure for the perfect body is becoming ridiculous. I really hope I can steer the DCs into accepting themselves for who they are and not what they are.

That's it exactly, I know it all in theory but can't internalise it. If only there were women's groups or something which were about body acceptance or something, some way women could support each other to reject all the crap we get taught about our bodies and where we could normalise just being healthy and happy.

Birtani I used to be like that, I really restricted my diet to control my weight. I had to think about it all the time, was constantly hungry and probably really unhealthy. I loved the freedom I felt in pregnancy just to respond to my hunger.

biryani sorry, on phone.

I'm not sure I have ever been happy with my body. Sad to admit to but true, I think.

I am slimmer than I have ever been, not thin but slim enough and I am very fit, running more than 30 miles a week but still all I see when I look in the mirror is lumps and bumps. I think because I was always overweight as a teenager and through my 20's I am a bit wobbly.

I guess I have resigned myself to never having the shape I would want. I have a healthier relationship with food than I did pre-ds's and generally I don't worry about my diet or what I weigh unless my trousers get tight which only normally happens when I can't run. I eat to fuel my running and don't control my diet in anyway which makes me happier I think.

Not sure what the point of my rambling is, but just to say I like my body because I am in awe of what it can do when pushed, running a marathon was something I never thoughtnpossible until I did it, but I still don't like the way it looks.

when I was in my early twenties, child free and partial to a sun bed and gym 5 times a week. It has all went down hill from there!!!

I feel totally happy about mine, more now than ever (I'm 39 with 3 kids).

When I was at school I was rubbish at PE which made me feel generally awkward and incompetent relative to my peers, but now I am fairly active and I suppose it's relative, because I'm still around the same weight and quite fit, while a lot of my friends of the same age have put weight on and feel they would like to lose it but find it hard.

I am pretty pleased with my body since it's allowed me to have 3 kids and breastfeed them without putting me through the stress or pain that so many people have in pregnancy and breastfeeding. It helps that I have a dh who says nice things a lot.

I think for me, reading the feminist texts DID help as well, especially Beauty and Misogyny, because it helped me feel supremely unbothered by silly beauty ideals that a lot of women feel they ought to live up to. Eg why the fuck should I care if my breasts are a little bit saggy? I'm 39 ffs, not 16!

Also I NEVER read women's magazines because I learnt a long time ago that they are designed to Make You Feel Shit So You Will Buy Stuff. (In my 20s I noticed that Marie Claire always made me feel shit, Cosmo and New Woman not so much; now I wouldn't touch any of them, there are SO many things I'd rather read about.)

The 'Resisting Compulsory Femininity Thread' was also quite positive for me, more on the grooming front than on regarding my actual body, because it allowed me to let go of some guilt about Not Making The Best Of Myself - once you actively stop doing a beauty practice that you find burdensome rather than enjoyable (while keeping the ones you like) you realise that actually your life is NOT made worse by the refusal to do all these things you don't want to do.

rofl Kerry

Now, at the age of 46. I can finally look in the mirror and like what I see. I don't feel the need to lose weight or alter it in anyway. I think I have a nice body for my age I am a stone and a half heavier than I was 2 years ago and back then thought I was fat, needed to lose weight and covered up all the time. I think the change in me comes from being happy with myself, actually liking myself and loving my life after leaving an abusive relationship 18 months a go.

kerry, don't be daft

I am a bit bereft in the tit dept too

a fact is a fact innit

I still feel good about mine - the difference over now (aged 50) and then (aged 20) is that I have to work a bit harder at keeping it the way I like it now.

ok, the only time I have really hated my body was when it let me down by not holding on to my babies

I hated it then

it came good in the end though

Never

Even when I was a size 8 I thought I was fat.

I am a 12 now, 37 and three babies. I also run although more like 15 miles a week.
I wish I was slimmer. Although DP is always appreciative whatever my size.

My tummy is shite too. Three c-sections, Stretchmarks; it's sort of baggy bleurgh

I have always love all of my body. I am happy with it both through pregnancy and afterwards.

I dont believe in buying loads of products or wasting money though just lots of exercise through your daily life.