Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to wonder why I am so bloody UN-feminist??!!

65 replies

NunSoQueer · 29/06/2011 23:17

I cannot wait to give up my high-flying city career to be a SAHM

I changed my name when I got married inc my professional name

I think women should really be at home and look after their children

I think there are lots of jobs women should not/can not do e.g. fireman

I envy "kept" women

I am pro-life

Why should women be paid the same if they have had time off to have children and therefore have less experience???

How??!! Why??!! Where do these (very unpopular) views come from? I had a very working class up-bringing, did well, got a great job. Mum was a SAHM - maybe this is the reason?? Waits on my dad hand and foot.

Oddly, only thing that angers me on this subject is stripping/lapdancing - hugely ANTI all of that.

Someone come and drag me into the 21st century....

OP posts:

LittleMissArsey · 30/06/2011 00:07

FFS. Is The Wright Stuff missing a piece for tomorrow and are you the unfortunate researcher tasked with with finding a replacement?

If not, then I pity you. Enslaved to your ridiculous views. Good luck if your husband ever fucks off.

LittleMissArsey · 30/06/2011 00:12

You are a fucking idiot if you don't think a woman can be a firefighter.

FingandJeffing · 30/06/2011 00:31

Exactly littlemissa
Perhaps your mum is proud of your job, your independence, perhaps she wishes she had those opportunities. Perhaps she felt she had no life choices?

Either way there isn't a woman (or a man) in this country who doesn't benefit from feminism and to say differently is an insult to women who have suffered at the hands of men due to the lack of equality ( especially in law). It's so dull to have to spell it out to you but the right to vote, inherit, own property, the equal pay act, the right not to be raped within marriage are all issues that feminism has brought forward. I should feel sorry for you that you can't see it but actually I feel angry. Just became you have opted to be a SAHM for now doesn't mean you aren't a feminist.

nappyaddict · 30/06/2011 00:42

The only 2 things I disagree with are these:

I think women should really be at home and look after their children - only if that's what they want to do. Some children benefit more going to nursery/childminder/having a nanny than having a mummy unhappy staying at home with them because really they would like to work.

I think there are lots of jobs women should not/can not do e.g. fireman - why not? If they pass all the physical tests then I don't see why not. Obviously the strongest/fastest man is going to be stronger/faster than the strongest/fastest woman but inbetween there are many women who are actually better than men.

Why should women be paid the same if they have had time off to have children and therefore have less experience??? Women should not be paid less just because of their gender. People should be paid based on their experience which is what you are saying. Not all women have a lot of time off when they have children, not all women have children, so why should they be paid less then men? Men have career breaks too, sometimes child related, sometimes not.

LolaRennt · 30/06/2011 01:09

You are a fucking idiot if you don't think a woman can be a firefighter.

I believe there are different criteria for male and females for joining the fire dept, same as in the police. I think the criteria should be the same for all, if that makes it less likely for women to be able to join then I would think it was sad. But if I inhale too much smoke and passout I do hope that the person who finds me can lift my ass out of the building. Be they male or female I couldn't care less.

nappyaddict · 30/06/2011 11:24

I also think the criteria should be the same for both men and women.

joaninha · 30/06/2011 14:18

The reason women get paid less is not because of their lack of experience but because employers know that they can get away with it and as a society we value women's work less. Look at any industry that is predominantly female and you'll see that it is likely to have low status and low pay.

OP, I think you place far too much faith in men's sense of fairness. Just a few decades ago it was perfectly acceptable to pay women less precisely because of their gender. It was perfectly acceptable to specify gender in job ads as well as insist that (only) female candidates be physically attractive.

A few laws and decades later, do you really think people's attitudes have changed that much, that all employers have suddenly developed a conscience and now believe in fairness? It would be naive to think that they have.

TrilllianAstra · 30/06/2011 14:26

Yay, I get to put in my quiz again (you are all going to get so sick of this)

1 - Do you think that people should be treated, valued & respected equally, no matter what their gender?
Yes - go to 2
No - You are a sexist
2 - Do you believe that this is currently not the case?
Yes - go to 3
No - take a look around, things are not as equal as they seem - if still in doubt read The Equality Illusion - then answer yes and go to 3
3 - Would you like it to be the case?
Yes - Congratulations, you are a feminist
No - Er, what? You think people should be equal but you don't want them to be? Huh?

joaninha · 30/06/2011 14:57

Don't worry Trillian - we won't get sick of it! I saw it in another thread and have adopted it as part of my collection of feminist mantras!

TrilllianAstra · 30/06/2011 15:51

Thanks jo :)

MarySueFTW · 30/06/2011 16:49

I know what you mean - my marriage was quite tradtional once we had the kids, and I liked it that way. Work sucks! I wanna be with my kids! But I accept others feel differently of course.

I don't think its being a Stepford Wife unless you act like a servile robot and I don't think many western women are like THAT anymore.

I don't label myself a feminist (mainly because I don't like labels) I say I believe in equal rights and opportunities for everyone. Who could argue with that??

garlicnutter · 30/06/2011 17:50

A client of mine told me she runs her H's bath for him, gets his sliippers, gives him a neck rub at the end of the day and so on. She runs three businesses, cleans the inside of her ktichen cupboards every week (she does a few each evening) and is constantly worried about her weight. She's been hospitalised with a stress-related every year in the 4 years I've worked with her.

She is proud of the level of service she provides her husband. She's his second wife, and is convinced he loves her more than W#1 because the first one didn't "look after him".

Neither of them "have any time for feminists"

MarySueFTW · 30/06/2011 17:58

I don't think those are typical of most women who don't want to label themselves feminists!

garlicnutter · 30/06/2011 18:10

Nah, he's an over-entitled git imo. But they're emblematic of what feminism's still up against. Vast numbers of people still see her life as typical of a woman's role ... not so much having it all as doing it all :(

allegrageller · 30/06/2011 18:13

'I think women should really be at home and look after their children

I think there are lots of jobs women should not/can not do e.g. fireman'

I am a shouty ranty feminist and I don't disagree with anything you've said- except the above which are a generalising load of bollocks frankly.....the rest is your choice. Who doesn't envy 'kept' people at times? Why is caring for a child not valued as much as paid work?

Flip

1 2 3