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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Bugger, I have indirectly supported a 'Christian abortion counselling service'

57 replies

ChinnyReckon · 01/06/2011 21:10

I feel conflicted and uneasy. Backstory; like other people, things are a bit tight for us at the moment. However me and DH are good at budgeting for food and bills etc and if things ever got really bad, we have family who could help us out a bit. I feel worried, though, about people who arent as fortunate as us and who are really struggling at the moment to support themselves.

So I looked online to see if I could donate food locally and I found somewhere and arranged to do this. But now I have had a proper look, I can see that apart from food donation, their other projects are pregnancy crisis counselling/Christian abortion counselling. I feel like a hypocrite. I am pro choice and I am not comfortable with 'pregnancy crisis counselling' as I feel like it misrepresents what is obviously an anti abortion stance. I feel that it tricks women into making decisions that are not neccessarily in their best interests.

I felt like I needed to write that down but given all the abortion threads recently, I feel it's better here. Do I just withdraw the offer of regular donations because I feel so uneasy or just think of the people it will help?

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AMumInScotland · 01/06/2011 21:18

Why are you so sure that it is a cover for an anti-abortion stance? Not all Christians take that view. I think you should find out what their stance actually is before deciding how to react.

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ChinnyReckon · 01/06/2011 21:24

Yes, you're probably right. I have read of that sort of thing but not specifically this group. I also posted without thinking it through, i had such an immediately strong feeling about it. I'm not sure if i should ask directly or not.

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K999 · 01/06/2011 21:29

I agree with AMumInScotland.

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AMumInScotland · 01/06/2011 21:29

I'd be tempted to ask directly - they'll probably be very happy to share their viewpoint with you, whichever line they take!

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K999 · 01/06/2011 21:31

And you only donated food, not £1m so can't see the issue. If you're not comfortable, don't donate again.

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BooBooGlass · 01/06/2011 21:36

You know what? I don;t see there's a reason to be conflicted. I've had counsellign from a crisis pregnancy centre that I only realised later WAS affiliated with the church. Being on the premices of the YMCA should have given me a clue but I was a student. alone, scared andthey offered me an invaluable service. There was no agenda pushing at all, it was all ME talking about MY feelings, much like any kind of counselling really. None of the literature I recieved was biased. I think tbh it's great that places like this exit. I badly needed the time and opportunity to talk through my decision. I did decide to keep dd, but have donated equipment there since. I don't doubt there ar eplaces that aren't quite so unbiased, but the one I went to was bloody brilliant.

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IvorHughJarrs · 01/06/2011 21:41

Chinny when my DS was younger he was invited to a barbecue via a youth group he belonged to. On investigation it turned out to be hosted by a group known for promoting no sex outside marriage to teenagers and some parents declined the invitation but we allowed DS to go and he found it a really positive experience to learn about a point of view that was different to that given in school, etc.

I know that pregnancy can make some women feel vulnerable but sometimes discussing a different viewpoint (IF that is what this group do) can be really valuable. Please don't panic and withdraw your support when you are unsure. I know some christian charities who provide fantastic services and support where it is very much needed

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ChinnyReckon · 01/06/2011 21:48

I know it's only a bit of food and not millions but in my mind I made a long term commitment to doing it so don't want to go back on what i've commited to.

Thanks for sharing your experience, Boo. Maybe I should not be so cynical. Their website does give abortion stats and refers to x amount of women in post abortion counselling etc. I dunno. Maybe I should just not overthink things so much.

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BooBooGlass · 01/06/2011 21:50

I am pro choice, but tbh I think giving post abortion cunselling stats isn;t that terrible a thing. I wish more people were offered it. I know if I ever had one I'd need counselling afterwards, but I'm that kind of person. I had counselling throughout and after my unplanned pregnancy too. I see no difference. An unplanned pregnancy requires the mother to be supported, whatever her decision.

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garlicbutter · 01/06/2011 22:08

If I were in your position, I'd ring 'em up and ask ever so nicely about this service. I'd withdraw my support if I disliked the tenor of their reply. I have withdrawn quite significant support, in the past, from charities that turned out to be pushing an agenda that made me uncomfortable. They do unquestionably good work, but there are other outfits that do comparable good without pressing their beliefs on recipients.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 02/06/2011 12:37

I can completely see why you don't feel comfortable with it - you are giving something away (doesn't matter how much) and you want to make sure you are supporting something good and worthwhile. Why don't you look around and see if there are other places you could donate to instead? For instance, lots of towns have shelters for women fleeing DV and they usually need decent food/toiletries for people who turn up with nothing. There might be a local Salvation Army (though I have no idea on their stance on abortion) too, or other charity that helps homeless people, or a hostel.

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garlicbutter · 03/06/2011 12:11

Chinny, how did you get along with this?

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SardineQueen · 03/06/2011 15:53

Do they have a website - that might give clues as to whether their councelling service is neutral or not?

I have a suspicion that some organisations that are actually anti-abortion masquerade as neutral in order to get their funding / not get angry people going on at then etc... But maybe I am cynical too?

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LuckyMrsT · 03/06/2011 16:53

You need to be more open minded! Just because you don't agree with them on one issue doesn't mean you shouldn't help them with their good work for the needy. Also it's a good thing to have services representing both viewpoints, a lot of people regret terminations and might have been helped by some good advice from the 'other side'. I could argue that the services you seem to approve of just tick a few boxes before booking you in at the clinic. That's not necessarily helping women to make decisions in their best interests either.

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SardineQueen · 03/06/2011 17:14

I couldn't support an organisation if a different arm was doing something I disagreed with, personally.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 03/06/2011 17:23

"because you don't agree with them on one issue doesn't mean you shouldn't help them with their good work for the needy."

I know what you mean but don't agree - if an organisation uses their "good work" as a whitewash for other aspects of their work that are more controversial, your donations etc are helping them to look better.

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TrillianAstra · 03/06/2011 17:24

I would call them up and ask their stance. Listen to how they say it, not just what they say.

I think you are right to be uncomfortable about supporting a charity if you fundamentally disagree with part of what they do, even if your contribution was towards a different area.

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LuckyMrsT · 03/06/2011 17:59

Elephants - she didn't support them financially she gave some food to be distributed. Unless they plan to sell it... On what basis do you suggest that they're somehow only doing good works as a whitewash? And OP why do you think they're out to 'trick' women into continuing with their unplanned pregnancies? Conspiricy theorists the pair of you!

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CrapolaDeVille · 04/06/2011 12:15

We never eat Dominos pizza because they are pro life!!

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SardineQueen · 04/06/2011 12:20

Giving charitably isn't just about money. Giving time, food, clothing, equipment, there are loads of ways of giving charitably. And if you donate anything to an organisation you are supporting them, your donations assist them to continue and help to make them look like a going concern.

Obvious, innit.

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SardineQueen · 04/06/2011 12:20

Dominos are pro life? Really?

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SardineQueen · 04/06/2011 12:21

Are they a privately owned organisation? Do you have a link or something?

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CrapolaDeVille · 04/06/2011 12:58

SQ....I will search it out, but I remember that they support a pro life from being a student...I will now have to search!

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CrapolaDeVille · 04/06/2011 13:00

Tom Monaghan, CEO, is anti-abortion. More evidence has surfaced to verify that. He is on the board of directors of Franciscan University of Steubenville. The Dominos Foundation gave $195,888 to Franciscan Univ. and $15,000 to
the Human Life Center of Franciscan Univ. Franciscan U. as the only place in the country where it's possible to get a minor in "pro-life activities". www.holysmoke.org/fem/fem0418.htm

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SardineQueen · 04/06/2011 13:05

Crikey, thanks crapola!

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